


While You Were Sleeping

by sabell



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired By While You Were Sleeping (1995), Jealous Tsukishima Kei, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Miscommunication, Mistaken Identity, Mutual Pining, POV Third Person Limited, While you were sleeping (1995) AU, Yamaguchi didn't go to Karasuno - everyone else (but Yachi) did, higher rating for final chapters, pov switching, tsukkiyama - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:47:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 47,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28421931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabell/pseuds/sabell
Summary: “You look familiar, have we met before?”The question throws Tadashi for a loop and he has to tip his head back to get a good look at the taller man, squinting as he tries to think of any situation where he might’ve met someone as striking as Tsukishima and somehow not remember him. He’s right though, something about the blonde’s name pings some memory in the recesses of Tadashi’s brain, making him squint. Tsukishima Kei… Tsukishima… Tsukishima… Tsuki-“Tsukki?”The blonde’s eyes go wide with recognition behind his glasses. It is. It’s him. It’s Tsukki.Holy fuck.--Tadashi saves his celebrity athlete crush, Kageyama Tobio, when he falls unconscious on the train tracks in front of an incoming train. Kageyama goes into a coma, Tadashi gets mistaken for his fiancé, and all hell breaks loose. Now he's stuck in a fake engagement scheme cooked up by one of Kageyama's friends, which only gets harder to manage when a certain suspicious blonde from Tadashi's childhood resurfaces unexpectedly to put him through the ringer. There's no way this can end well... right?Based off the 1995 movie While You Were Sleeping. A holiday themed romcom for all the Tsukkiyama fans out there.
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, but if you know the movie then you know where this is going, mentions of
Comments: 166
Kudos: 292





	1. The Accident

**Author's Note:**

> A few world building notes for those who haven't seen the movie: Tadashi didn't live or grow up near Karasuno and did not attend high school with the gang. Neither did Yachi. Tsukki lived near Tadashi when they were kids but then moved away and eventually attended Karasuno. The rest of the Haikyuu storyline is for the most part consistent with the canon manga/anime for the rest of the group, including mostish timeskip stuff (with liberties taken). 
> 
> Thank you for reading and, as always, hope you enjoy!!

Tadashi had a best friend once. His name was Tsukki. At least that’s what Tadashi called him - it had to have been a nickname, though for what he can’t quite remember anymore. They met in primary school, at the height of Tadashi’s stint as the school punching bag. Tsukki rescued him from a couple of bullies and, as a result, became Tadashi’s revered savior. They spent a single summer together after that, and though it had been short it still remains one of Tadashi’s sweetest memories. Then Tsukki disappeared. Moved away, actually, as Tadashi would later learn, but that didn’t stop the sudden loss of his first and only best friend from being any less devastating. Worst of all, though, had been the fact that Tadashi hadn’t been able to muster the courage to attempt to keep in contact. Tsukki had always seemed largely indifferent to Tadashi’s presence, something the small freckled boy hadn’t thought to hold against him during the duration of their time together, but the blonde’s lack of effort to even let Tadashi know he was moving didn’t go unnoticed, and the brunette had had no other option but to finally accept that Tsukki hadn’t cared as much about their friendship as Tadashi had. It had been a bitter pill to swallow, but it had also been a learning experience. Tadashi stopped being a victim after that, learned how to fend off bullies by blending into the background, and threw himself into the two subjects he knew Tsukki cared about above all else - volleyball and schoolwork - in the hopes that if someday they did meet again they’d have something in common. 

That was well over ten years ago. Tadashi is in twenties now and honestly kind of struggling. He moved to Tokyo right after graduation, thinking it would be the fresh start he’d always dreamed of, the new beginning he’d hoped college would be but hadn’t been, his decision to keep close to home his then-thought-to-be biggest mistake. What it’s turned out to be, though, is incredibly, _incredibly_ lonely. He’s never had a great track record in socializing, and, because of that, had thought that since he was able to skate by in high school and college on the polite interactions he’d had with teachers and classmates that never threatened to delve into deeper relationships that he’d be fine on his own in a big city. After all, he thought he was already used to being alone. Clearly, he’d underestimated just how much he’d been relying on the presences of even the most random familiar faces to keep his sanity. Tadashi misses the old man who always rode the train home with him every Friday, the pretty clerk at the convenience store who was always gentle with Tadashi’s purchases, the nice senpai in his English lit class who complimented his jacket once, the sweet old woman who cleaned the dorms. His apartment in Tokyo is both suffocatingly small and utterly desolate, lacking in all things cozy and warm no matter how much stupid shit he buys at Daiso, desperately trying to make the space a home. Embarrassingly, his thoughts turn to Tsukki more often than he’d like to admit these days, reaching for the blurred memories of that fleeting feeling of satisfaction that had accompanied finding a friend. It’s ridiculous, a full grown man yearning for days so far behind him, but hey, that’s reality. And it’s not like that’s all he does. He’s working part time at a coffee shop, saving up for grad school while continuing his computer science studies on his own, teaching himself every kind of code he can between shifts. He’s also still into volleyball, and although he hasn’t played since middle school, he has kept up almost meticulously with the careers of some of his favorite players - the top most being Kageyama Tobio, Japan’s rising all star setter and, in Tadashi’s opinion, most handsome player. Kageyama reportedly having moved to Tokyo six months before Tadashi’s graduation may or may not have had some influence on where he ended up relocating to, but it’s not like he’s some crazed fan. He just likes the idea that maybe someday he’ll get to see the famed setter from afar and know that exceptional people his own age really do exist, even if he’s not one of them. 

Surprisingly, that day does come. Then it happens again. Turns out, Kageyama Tobio has a habit of taking the 11:00 a.m. train north from Q station every Tuesday through Friday during his off season, the same train Tadashi catches for his midday shift at the cafe. The first few times Tadashi purposely avoids boarding the same car as his idol, too afraid of being seen by the man he’s secretly had a huge crush on for too many years now. It blows his mind how no one else seems to notice the handsome black haired setter, but then again the platform is usually pretty empty at that time of day and it’s not like everyone is a fan of volleyball. Really, it’s only by chance that someone as nerdy as Tadashi knows as much as he does about the sport. If he were a different person maybe he’d see their paths crossing as a sign of some sort of higher design, an opportunity to take some sort of action, the type of situation meant to be exploited, but Tadashi’s not that kind of person. He gets that he’s just an average guy, a non playable character meant to bear witness to the rise and success of the MC, so that’s what he does. He witnesses. He watches. Okay, so maybe he fantasizes a little bit, but can you blame him? Kageyama is gorgeous, built like a Greek god, and he has a bad habit of being engrossed in his phone when he’s walking which makes it almost too easy to ogle the man, the setter's obliviousness almost concerning. 

Only once does Tadashi actually ever make contact with the pro athlete, and it happens completely by accident. He’s running late and has to throw himself onto the first train car he reaches before the doors close in order to make it to his shift on time. He’s not even thinking about Kageyama when he does it, a rare lapse that lands him nearly sprawled across the other man’s lap. 

“Careful,” Kageyama says, steadying Tadashi on his feet before shifting somewhat uncomfortably in his seat, his expression unusually puzzled as Tadashi begins frantically apologizing. “It’s okay, just be careful,” the other man says after a minute with purposeful finality, giving Tadashi the out he needs to scramble to the far side of the train car and shakily find his own seat. Despite his nerves, the brunette can’t keep from sneaking glances at the other man for the rest of the ride, his palms sweaty and heart pounding, the places on his arms where Kageyama had gingerly held him burning almost as intensely as his cheeks. 

Tadashi almost thinks that after the _incident_ Kageyama might start recognizing him on the platform, but he doesn’t and that’s okay. He starts riding the same car anyway and let’s his mind wander as it pleases. Sure, there’s little to no chance they’ll ever interact again, but that doesn’t mean he can’t imagine what it’d be like to date one of Japan’s most prolific volleyball players, right? It’s not a crime to fall in love from afar, after all. Months go by like this, with Tadashi respectfully analyzing his idolized player for twenty five or so minutes every morning four days out of every week, and admittedly sometimes the fantasies get somewhat out of hand and Tadashi has to reel himself back in before he starts really entertaining the absurd, but hey, he’s fucking lonely and a little bit broke in an uninviting city with little to no concept of self and if siphoning off some of the extra light that surrounds Kageyama Tobio is what it takes to stave off a quarter life crisis before he manages to make something of himself then so be it. He’ll do what he has to to survive. 

It’s on one of these days, a particularly cold one, when _it_ happens - _it_ being the misstep Tadashi has been dreading since the first time he noticed just how careless Kageyama can be when he’s on his phone. One moment the c-list celebrity is standing a few meters from where Tadashi is sitting on the platform’s bench, too close to the tracks for Tadashi’s comfort but too many worlds away socially for Tadashi to even fathom voicing his concern, and the next he’s disappearing right over the ledge. Tadashi freezes, milliseconds ticking by in his mind as he unconsciously waits for the top of Kageyama’s head to reappear and reassure Tadashi that the setter is going to pull himself back to safety. Then a woman screams. She’s on the opposite side of the platform and pointing down at the tracks, her head on a swivel as she shouts for help. Her eyes find Tadashi’s. He’s up and out of his seat before he even has a chance to think. 

“Kageyama-san?” His voice sounds foreign to his own ears. He thinks he can hear the woman shouting at him. 

“The train is coming!” 

He blinks up at her, then turns to take in the sickening image of the steel front of the approaching train, still in the distance but coming closer. The whistle sounds, piercing his brain and making his blood run cold. He turns back to the body on the tracks below him, his vision swimming as he starts to shout. “Kageyama-san! Can you hear me? You need to get up! Right now!” Kageyama’s eyelids flutter, revealing the whites of his eyes before his head lolls to the side and he’s out cold. “Fuck,” Tadashi grits out before taking a few steps forward to lower himself as quickly as he can down onto the tracks, trying to carefully avoid the parts he thinks might be electrified. It’s a miracle Kageyama didn’t hit them on his way down. He shuffles on all fours over the setter’s limp form, hesitating only a little before slapping the black haired man’s cheek with moderate force. “Kageyama! The train is coming! You need to get up right now!” Kageyama doesn’t respond. 

“It’s coming! It’s coming!” The woman is screaming at him now, waving her hands wildly as she tries to flag down the conductor. “Lift him out!”

 _Is she fucking crazy_ , he thinks. Kageyama is almost as tall as Tadashi and is made of pure muscle. In comparison, Tadashi is stupid skinny, his body made up of at least 70% processed junk food and sleepless nights. There’s no way he’d be able to lift the pro setter, let alone heft him to safety in time, especially not now with his hands shaking as much as they are. The train’s whistle sounds again, the nearness of it almost making him pass out. He can’t bring himself to look up to see how close it is. He slaps Kageyama again, to no avail, then glances up desperately at the woman on the opposite side of the platform. She’s pointing at something behind him. He looks. To his left is an empty space just below the platform. He says a quick prayer as grabs Kageyama and rolls. 

The two of them end up tangled together between two incredibly dirty slabs of concrete just as the train rushes by. He did it. They’re safe. They’re alive. Tadashi all but collapses on Kageyama’s chest, burying his face in the crook of the other man’s neck with a shudder of relief that doesn’t even stir the still unconscious setter. _Thank fuck_ , is all he can think, _thank fucking God._

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Tadashi finds himself arguing with a very disgruntled nurse at the nearby hospital, desperately begging for any updates on Kageyama’s condition. 

“Sir, unless you’re family or designated next of kin I cannot release any medical information on the patient. Read the law.” 

“I’m not asking for anything protected under _the law_ , I just want to know if he’s _okay_ ,” Tadashi says, voice shrill from exhaustion. “I rode in the ambulance with him, for Christ’s sake!” 

“I don’t care if you came here in a flying car, _sir_ , do not take an attitude with me.” 

“I’m not - !” The nurse lifts her hand to silence him just as his phone rings loudly, forcing Tadashi to fumble with the touch screen as he watches, agape, as the nurse turns on her heels and disappears behind a heavy looking door labeled ‘employees only’. 

“Hello?” He can’t keep the distress from his voice when he answers the call, hands still shaking as he turns to sit heavily in the nearest available chair. 

“Yamaguchi-kun? Are you okay? You were scheduled to be here fifteen minutes ago. Are you running late?” 

“Oh fuck,” Tadashi says, squeezing his eyes shut as he runs a hand through his already disheveled hair. “Yachi?” 

“Yeah, are you okay?” 

Yachi is a sweet girl who works at the cafe with Tadashi. They did their training together and have since become relatively friendly, Yachi’s bright and inviting demeanor during their shared shifts one of the few things in Tokyo that kept Tadashi from moving right back home in those first few months when the transition had been hardest. He’s even opened up to her a few times about his crush on Kageyama, though he’s always been careful to keep the details vague. 

“Shit. Shit, sorry, I should’ve called earlier. I was in an accident, er - the _guy_ was in an accident. I saved him. I think. I don’t know, the nurses won’t tell me if he’s okay and I -”

“Wait, _the_ guy? Your guy? Is he okay?” Yachi sounds genuinely worried. God, she’s so nice Tadashi could almost cry. 

“I think so, I don’t know. They won’t give me any update because I’m not family.” 

“You saved him?! Holy crap, Yamaguchi-kun, is _soulmate_ not good enough for those people? What the heck!” 

“I know right,” Tadashi laughs weakly, hanging his head in defeat. “I was gonna marry him and everything. Fuck.” 

He doesn’t see the new nurse clocking in at the desk behind him, her head cocking in interest as she listens to his conversation before turning to pick up the reception phone. 

“I don’t know if I’m gonna make it in til 1. I mean, I guess I could if I left right now -”

“No, stay and get some answers. I’ve got you covered. Go home afterwards, don’t come in, I’ll talk to Suzuki-chan. She’ll understand.” 

“I can’t ask you to -”

“You’re not asking, I’m telling. Text me later to let me know you and your guy are okay. Don’t worry about anything else.” Yachi’s voice is warm but firm and Tadashi can’t help but sag against the chair he’s in, the colossal weight of what’s happened today all at once settling in his mind. “You gonna be okay?” Yachi asks when he doesn’t answer. He blows out a long breath in response. 

“I think I almost died today,” he whispers finally. 

“I’m glad you didn’t. I gotta go, but please take care of yourself. Let me know when you’re home and okay, okay?” 

“Okay, thank you Yacchan.”

“No problem, Yamaguchi-kun. I’ve got your back.” Yachi hangs up first, and Tadashi can’t help but think that maybe he should finally ask her to hang out one of these days and try to act like a proper friend. He definitely owes it to her after this. 

“Yamaguchi-san? I can take you to Kageyama-san’s room when you’re ready,” a high voice says somewhere to the left of Tadashi’s head, making him jump. He stumbles to his feet to find himself face to face with the sweet looking nurse who’s replaced the one from earlier. 

“Is he okay?” The words tumble from his mouth in a nearly incomprehensible jumble, making the nurse smile. 

“He’s in a coma, but he’s stable. If you’ll follow me?” 

Tadashi nods, letting the tiny woman lead him down a maze of hallways before stopping in front of a metal door with the name ‘Kageyama, T.’ handwritten at the top of a chart hung below a small window through which Tadashi can see the still sleeping form of his celebrity crush. His breath catches, the memory of Kageyama lying helpless on the tracks suddenly too real. 

“He’s okay,” the nurse says kindly, snapping Tadashi back to reality. “Go on in, I’ll be by in a few minutes to check on you.” 

Tadashi nods then reaches for the handle, letting himself into the surprisingly spacious room. He slumps against the door as soon as it closes behind him, eyeing the sleeping man wearily as he tries to get his bearings. Even in the harsh hospital lighting, Kageyama looks flawless. Better than that, though, is the fact that he actually does look relatively okay. There’s an IV drip in his arm and an oxygen tube under his nose but not much else, and although Tadashi’s no doctor, he’s seen enough hospital dramas to think that all the numbers on the charts around Kageyama’s head look relatively normal. He wishes the nurse had elaborated a little more on the actual physical condition of the dark haired man, but maybe this is okay too. Seeing Kageyama still alive is more helpful than Tadashi had anticipated, and this small moment of peace is helping assuage the panic Tadashi has been feeling building in his gut since the moment he saw Kageyama fall on the tracks. 

He approaches the bed slowly, his nose wrinkling when he catches sight of some unknown greasy substance that’s still smeared under Kageyama’s jaw, no doubt a result of their time spent in maybe one of the dirtiest places in all of Tokyo. Tadashi shudders at the memory of that space below the platform before making his way to the dark bathroom in the corner of the room. He wets a few paper towels and, after a thought, turns on the lights to reveal his own image in the mirror hanging above the sink. He looks… not great. He scrubs at his face until his skin is pink, trying to clear away the evidence of his encounter with the train tracks. Even below the grime that’s settled on his face, though, Tadashi can see that the harrowing events of the day have left him with deep eye bags and hollow cheeks and skin so colorless that it looks sickly, making his freckles, which he’s still so stupidly insecure about, stand out even more starkly than they usually do. Although… maybe he can’t really blame all of that on the train. Maybe this is just how he looks. He switches off the light and wets a new paper towel. 

He perches awkwardly on the edge of Kageyama’s bed for a moment before gently wiping at the smear below his jaw, his hand stilling as he searches for any sign of a reaction to the cold touch. The dark haired man doesn’t move. Tadashi sighs. 

“Really wish you’d wake up,” he whispers, lifting his free hand to the other side of Kageyama’s face to support his head as he gets to work cleaning up what the nurses missed. “It was so scary seeing you fall, it’d make me feel a lot better if you’d wake up.” Kageyama doesn’t even twitch. Tadashi sighs, and maybe it’s horrible because he wouldn’t do this if Kageyama was awake, but he can’t help but take this opportunity to study the face in front of him - the man’s long, dark lashes and perpetually furrowed brow, his straight nose and full lips, this face that has fascinated Tadashi for so long, that he only now is realizing belongs to an actual real human person capable of getting hurt, capable of _dying._ Something warm and wet slides down his cheek, alerting Tadashi to the fact that he’s begun crying. “I really wish you’d wake up,” he croaks again before rocking forward to press his face for a second time that day into the crook of the unconscious man’s shoulder. “I could go home and be okay if I knew you were going to wake up.” 

“Where’s the doctor? Get the doctor, I need to hear a full report from the medics who brought him in before we even begin to discuss next steps -” a loud and commanding voice booms just as the door to the hospital room bursts open. 

“Daichi, please, they said they talked to a witness and he’s gonna be okay, we need to -”

“Who the hell are you?”

Tadashi whips around at the sudden intrusion to find himself face to face with one very menacing looking police officer and another man with a shaved head who looks like maybe he should be the one being arrested. 

“I - I’m -” he stammers before a smaller silver haired man in a large cable knit sweater is pushing between them, his hands on the officer’s chest. 

“Back _off_ , Daichi, for Christ’s sake,” the smaller man scolds. “And Tanaka, enough with that face! You look like you’re about to murder someone!” 

“I am if this punk doesn’t explain himself,” the one named Tanaka all but snarls. “What the hell are you doing with Kageyama, eh?!” 

“Nothing! I was j - just -”

“What the fuck happened?!” a fourth voice cuts Tadashi off, sparing him from having to explain the compromising position he’s been caught in. The relief only lasts a second, though, before Tadashi is practically bowled over by a small man with ridiculous hair who bypasses the tall brunette altogether in favor of practically jumping on Kageyama’s chest. Tadashi yelps in protest, unconsciously bracketing the setter’s body with his arms in an attempt to save him from this humanoid ball of energy. 

“Wait, who’s this guy?” The smaller man asks belatedly, jerking a thumb at Tadashi. 

“Yu, get off the bed please,” a deep voice says, and Tadashi had to crane his neck to look up at the man it belongs to. _Jesus-sama, is that you?_ he nearly asks, because honestly at this point anything feels possible. 

“Seriously, answer the fucking question. Who the fuck are you? Huh?” The one named Tanaka slings his arm around the one named Yu, the two of them leaning across Kageyama’s body with identical menacing stares. 

“I - I -”

“He’s Kageyama-san’s fiancé! Now please kindly get _off_ of the patient!” A shrill voice cuts through the tension in the room like a knife. Tadashi is slow to react, so by the time he’s turned to stare with abject horror at the nurse standing in the doorway with her arms crossed, the rest of the room is staring at him. 

“What?” He says, though he isn’t sure if his throat actually manages to produce any kind of sound beyond a strangled rasp. 

“What?” Another, quieter voice says from behind the nurse. She turns to reveal a face Tadashi actually does recognize this time. Hinata Shoyo, Brazil’s infamous beach volleyball middle blocker. 

Silence. 

The clock on the wall is suddenly the loudest sound in the room, it’s ticks oppressively counting down the seconds to Tadashi’s demise. He needs to say something. He _knows_ he needs to say something, but his protests are stuck in his throat, his brain suddenly sluggish beyond belief as he struggles for the right words. How, exactly, does he fix this? 

“Not only that, but this young man is the one that saved Kageyama-san’s life,” the nurse offers smugly, her holier than thou tone like nails on a chalkboard in Tadashi’s mind. “Now give the patient and his fiancé some _space, please._ They’ve been through a lot. Yamaguchi-san, are you alright? You look pale.” 

“Yamaguchi? That’s your name?” The small man named Yu interrupts, finally breaking the confused silence that’s imposed itself upon Kageyama’s entourage, seemingly snapping the rest of them back into the present. 

“How is that possible? Fiancé? Seriously?” The police officer says, though he no longer sounds nearly as scary. Instead, he’s staring at Kageyama, seemingly talking to himself. 

“He’s been so distant lately, I thought… well, I’m not sure what I thought but… a fiancé...” It’s the grey haired man speaking now, though he too seems to be addressing the air. 

“Whoa, that’s crazy. But hey, maybe that explains a lot! He’s been super weird lately! Yamaguchi, was it? Nice to meetcha! I’m Nishinoya Yu.” Nishinoya reaches across Kageyama’s sleeping form to grab Tadashi’s hand and shake it violently. His easy acceptance of the freckled man seems to open the floodgates, and seconds later Tadashi finds himself suddenly being swept up in introductions by the rowdy group. 

“Sawamura Daichi, Kageyama’s roommate. Sorry about earlier, I wasn’t aware of your relationship with him.” 

“Sugawara Koshi, but you can call me Suga. It’s so nice to meet you, Yamaguchi-san. I’m so sorry about all of this. I can’t believe you were the one who saved him. We all owe you so much.” The grey haired man says solemnly with a small but kind smile. 

“Tanaka Ryunosuke! Good to meetcha, Kageyama’s fiancé and savior!” 

“Azumane Asahi,” the one who looks like Jesus introduces himself softly, his large hand finding Tadashi’s to squeeze it gently with a heartfelt “thank you.” To Tadashi’s horror, the larger man is crying. Tadashi’s heart constricts painfully in his chest, his throat closing as he has to fight off his own impending waterworks. 

“Wait so what even happened? How did you save him?” Nishinoya cuts in, giving Tadashi the chance he needs to withdraw his hand from the warm grip of Azumane’s terrifyingly kind handshake. 

“Weren’t you listening to the nurse earlier? Kageyama fell on the tracks and Yamaguchi here jumped down and saved him.” Suga smiles kindly at Tadashi just as Tanaka leaps across the bed to tackle him in an aggressive hug that soon becomes more of a headlock than anything else. 

“Way to go, fiancé-san! Thanks for keeping our boy safe!” 

“It really was a remarkable thing to do,” Daichi agrees, giving Tadashi a small nod in thanks that somehow feels even more meaningful than all of Tanaka’s overt enthusiasm. Tadashi can’t help the flush that overtakes his face, shame and embarrassment flooding his system in equal measures as his mouth gapes helplessly, all words failing him as he sinks further past the point of no return. 

“Hinata, aren’t you going to come in?” one of them pipes up, and Tadashi has to reach a hand up to pat down the canvas material of Tanaka’s jacket sleeve to peer over his arm at the orange haired man who is still standing in the doorway. The nurse is, notably, nowhere to be seen. 

“I - yeah. Is he okay?” 

A new kind of hush falls amongst the group as Hinata approaches, and Tadashi feels Tanaka’s arm stiffen slightly around his shoulders. He looks up at the other man questionly, but only receives a forced smile in return before Tanaka is taking back his arm, leaving Tadashi slightly unbalanced so that he has to grab the edge of the bed to keep from falling off. Hinata approaches from the other side, a shadow across his face as he shuffles forward to stand next to Kageyama’s legs, something in the way his eyes drift helplessly over the unconscious man’s form making Tadashi feel like even more of an intruder than before. 

“Hinata Shoyo,” Hinata says after a minute, his gaze finally turning to Tadashi, making the taller man flinch. “I used to be - Kageyama and I were teammates in high school.” 

“I know,” Tadashi replies without thinking, and the stricken look those words seem to pull from the redhead makes his heart palpitate before the smaller man is schooling his features and offering up his hand.

“Fiancé, huh? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised to be finding out like this. Kageyama has always been awful at keeping us in the loop.” 

“N - no, It’s really not -” 

The door to the room bursts open again, and before Tadashi can even begin to clear up this whole misunderstanding two more people are barging in. The first is a tall, middle aged man in a suit with a sharp haircut and mean scowl plastered across his face. The second is perhaps one of the most beautiful women Tadashi has ever seen. 

“Fujita-san, you have no authority to be making demands about this transfer. You heard the nurse, he’s in too delicate a condition, and besides, it’d be completely unnecessary-”

“I heard her say he was stable.” This so-called Fujita-san tries to sweep past the beautiful woman but she stands her ground, a furious look on her face. 

“What exactly are you trying to prove here? What could possibly be gained-”

“Don’t pretend to know anything about my business, Shimizu-”

“Oi, oi! It’s Tanaka now! And don’t talk to Kiyoko like that!” Tanaka joins the fray without hesitation, a protective arm coming up to shield the woman from the older man who has begun to lean threateningly into her personal space. “What the hell is going on here?” 

“Fujita-san is trying to get Kageyama moved to his family’s hospital in Osaka.” 

“What? Why? He’s got everything he needs right here.”

“As Kageyama’s manager and in the absence of his parents who are, currently, halfway across the world on a retreat, I have full authority to act on his behalf, and I think some time away from this city would be best, seeing as-”

“Excuse me? He’s in a fucking coma! Now isn’t the time to be flexing your position as his _manager_ , Mr. Replaceable. There’s no fucking way we’re going to let you-”

“You have no say in the matter-”

“Tanaka, please, keep your voice _down_ -” the large man named Asahi tries to interject, but he’s quickly overtaken by Daichi who steps up between the two warring sides of the argument with a look on his face that clearly says this isn’t the first time this has happened. 

“Tanaka, Fujita-san, knock it off. Kageyama’s fiancé is here.” 

Two new sets of startled eyes turn to stare at Tadashi who shrinks beneath the scrutiny, but it’s Tanaka behind them who catches his attention. He has his hands pressed together as though in prayer, his mouth moving frantically as he silently pleads with Tadashi before pointing at the middle aged man and dragging a finger across his neck. _Stop him._

Fuck. 

Fuck, how does he get out of this. How does he explain the situation _now_ ? What the fuck is he supposed to _do?_

“That’s right, Kageyama’s fiancé can make the decision. He’s the most qualified to. Sorry, Fujita-san, you’ve been outranked.” Tadashi feels a firm hand come down hard on his shoulder. He looks up to find Hinata reaching across Kageyama’s body to touch him, his strong arm a clear barrier between the unconscious man and the irate so-called manager. _He’s protecting him_ , Tadashi realizes, before glancing down at the hand still squeezing his shoulder. _No, he’s asking me to protect him_. He gulps. Now is apparently not the time to set the record straight. Gingerly, he stands, the sudden change in height accidentally knocking Hinata’s hand off of his arm but that’s okay, he got the message. He’ll tell them all later, right now he needs to make amends in any way he can. 

“Fujita-san, I’m afraid I’m going to have to insist that T - Tobio-kun stay here in the care of his current doctors.” 

“... _Fiancé?!”_

“And I’m going to have to insist,” Tadashi says, raising his voice, trying not to let it shake, “that you leave if you can’t keep your composure. Tobio-kun is still in a critical condition, he needs the time and space to heal.” 

Fujita stares at him incredulously, but behind him Tadashi can see Tanaka giving him a thumbs up. 

“This isn’t over,” Fujita-san growls finally before turning on his heels and exiting the room. The group all let out a collective sigh of relief as soon as the door shuts behind him, Tanaka looping an arm around the beautiful woman’s waist to plant a kiss on her temple before pulling her forward towards Tadashi. 

“Yamaguchi-san, this is my wife Kiyoko. Kiyoko, this is Yamaguchi, Kageyama’s secret fiancé and the guy who pulled him off the train tracks.” 

“Then it seems you’ve saved him twice in one day. Thank you for your help, Yamaguchi-san, it’s an honor to meet you.” 

“Yamaguchi is fine,” Tadashi says sheepishly, taking Kiyoko’s hand to shake it politely before making an excuse for himself to slip out of the room and find the nearest men’s room. Once inside, he locks the door and sinks down to crouch on the floor in front of the stalls, a wave of nausea threatening to force him down even further. What the fuck has he gotten himself into. How the fuck is he supposed to get himself _out._

He takes a while in the bathroom, eventually picking himself up off the floor to splash water on his face and stare at himself in the mirror before quickly stumbling away from his reflection to retch into the toilet for a few seconds, repeating the process at least twice before finally steeling himself enough to exit his little safe haven. _Maybe I can just slip away and then just never take that train again_ , he thinks futilely before a hand suddenly grabs him from behind, pulling him into an already disconcertingly familiar headlock. 

“Tanaka-san?” 

“Hey, Yamaguchi, I just wanted to say thank you for earlier. You really helped me out back there. Kageyama has been trying to get out of his contract with that manager for a while now and - well anyway it’s all boring pro volleyball stupid legal drama bullshit, but basically it’s actually really great that you’re here. I know things might’ve been kinda weird in there since this is the first you’re meeting everyone, but we’re all happy to have ya. So like - hey, Yams, you feeling okay?” Tanaka gives him a bemused smile, and although Tadashi isn’t sure what expression his face is making, he’s sure it’s not pretty. He hangs his head in defeat as his chance for escape slips between his fingers, eventually giving a small nod. “Alright, ready to go back in? Don’t worry, I won’t feed ya to the sharks,” Tanaka laughs, to which Tadashi can only nod again. He’s pretty sure he’s already been torn limb from limb by said sharks, but oh well. He’s too deep in it now. 

Tanaka all but drags Tadashi back to Kageyama’s hospital room where he’s pounced on by the rest of the group who, in his absence, seem to have come to the conclusion that he needs to make an appearance at their upcoming Christmas party. Honestly, he’s completely forgotten about the impending holiday, his family never having gotten into the habit of celebrating it in any meaningful way. Apparently, though, it’s a big deal amongst Kageyama’s social circle and before too long he’s collecting a handful of phone numbers and vague instructions about when and where to show up at the apartment Kageyama apparently shares with Daichi and one other man Tadashi hasn’t met yet for their annual wintertime celebration in order to, as Nishinoya puts it, ‘get to know the family’. 

Eventually the rest of the entourage leaves, Nishinoya leading the pack, his continual insistence that Tadashi and Kageyama need ‘time alone’ making Tadashi want to die every time he repeats it. If it means creating an opening to finally escape this nightmare, though, Tadashi will take it, so he agrees with as few words as possible and finally sighs a breath of relief when he’s left alone with the sleeping setter. 

“Yamaguchi-san? These are Kageyama-san’s personal effects. I heard you might be leaving soon, so I thought I’d drop these off. Visiting hours don’t end until later today though, so no rush.” 

Tadashi looks up wearily at the nurse holding a crumpled paper bag out for him to grab. She’s the same one who pronounced him Kageyama’s fiancé earlier in front of the whole group. He feels something in him snap. 

“Why on earth would you tell everyone I’m his fiancé?”

“Excuse me?” 

Tadashi rubs his eyes with the heels of his palms before reaching up and snatching the bag out of her hand. “I’m not his fiancé. I don’t even know him,” he groans. 

“Well maybe next time you’re on the phone you should remember not to say that you _are_. People might get the wrong idea,” the nurse huffs indignity. 

“You were listening to my phone call?” Tadashi raises his head to gape at the woman, but she’s already turned on her heels and stomped straight out of the room. He groans again, burying his face into the stiff folds of the bedsheets gathered around Kageyama’s waist, trying to make sense of everything that’s happened. “Fuck,” he whispers, “fuck, fuck, _fuck._ ” He looks up at the sleeping setter, trying to discern any answers from in the universe in the relaxed lines of the other man’s face. Nothing comes to him - at least, nothing but the urge to apologize, so that’s what he does. “Kageyama-san I’m so sorry. I have no idea how this happened. This totally got out of my control. I’ve been - I mean, I don’t know if you remember me, but… it doesn’t even matter. I’ve had such a crush on you for so long and I just - I don’t know, I thought I was helping, or maybe - I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m so fucking sorry. I promise I’m gonna make this right. Your friends seem so nice, I’m so glad you have so many people who care about you. I’m…” He’s run out of words. “Fuck. Sorry.” He gives the sheets covering Kageyama’s hand a final squeeze before standing to gather his things. He stuffs the small collection of Kageyama’s possessions into his messenger bag, unsure what he’s going to do with them but aware of the fact that it’d be a bad idea to leave something like the wallet of a celebrity unattended in a place full of foot traffic. Maybe he can text one of the people he met today to pick them up at some point. Suga, probably, would be the most receptive. 

Lost in thought, the worn out Tadashi neglects to notice that another has silently opened the door, a shaved head and perked ear visible in the gap before the door is very quietly closed, leaving the tired brunette to finish up and leave at his own pace. 

* * *

By the time Tadashi stumbles back into his crappy little apartment, he feels like he’s been hit by a train. Literally, not just almost. Never before has his sad mattress on its rickety bed frame looked so incredibly inviting. He collapses almost instantly. Luckily it’s Friday and he’s not on the schedule at the cafe until Sunday afternoon so he has a little room to breathe, and he’s not expected at the Christmas party until the next evening so he has some time to think of a plausible and polite enough excuse to not go. His eyes droop against his will and it doesn’t take long before he’s drifting into unconsciousness, dreams of sleeping volleyball players and snowy trains swirling in his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got this whole thing written p much but I'm still figuring out where to put the chapter breaks. That said, I'll probably upload chapters on a daily basis like I did my last fic. Likes and comments are always appreciated, I hope you all are having a wonderful holiday season! And if not, I hope this dumb little romcom helps brighten your day. Thanks for reading!! <3
> 
> edit: Added a rough estimate of how many chapters I think this will end up being. Apparently I wrote this fic like a fucking animal so figuring out how to break it up is stressing me out but ultimately it'll end up being 40k+ words of tsukkiyama so... stick around if thats ur thing lmao. we stan a good comfort ship in this household.


	2. The Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are only getting infinitely more complicated for our sweet little Tadashi :") love that for him. and love the fact that im uploading this instead of dealing with the fact that my apartment's sink just burst a pipe lmao (ಥ◡ಥ) pray for me, friends - and pray for Tadashi !

“Shit.” 

He slept for way too long. By the time Tadashi’d woken up that afternoon, he’d only been a few hours out from the time he was expected to make an appearance at Kageyama’s apartment for the party. It was maybe the most he’s slept in years, which, on one hand, meant he’d woken up feeling better than he has in a long time, but on the other hand meant he’d completely missed the acceptable window for giving an excuse to not go. Now he’s out in front of said apartment, nervously trying to pat down his staticky hair which he’s just now realizing is probably too long, while balancing a bottle of cheap wine in one arm and a box of chocolates in the other. He feels like a stupid teenager picking up his prom date. He feels utterly, _utterly_ embarrassing. 

“Oi! Yamaguchi!” Tadashi jumps, nearly dropping his offerings. “Whoa, careful there, hotshot. Here, let me help you out.” Tanaka tugs the box of chocolates out of his arms before slapping a hand _hard_ against his back with a toothy grin. “Let’s walk in together.” 

“Thanks, Tanaka-san,” Tadashi replies weakly, letting the shorter man maneuver him across the sidewalk toward the apartment building that now seems to loom overhead. 

“No problem, man. We’re practically almost family, after all.” 

“Right…” 

“Speaking of… hold up bro. Let’s just hang out here for a sec. I actually was hoping to talk to you away from the rest of those guys, if that’s cool.” Tanaka smiles at him again, tugging at the back of Tadashi’s jacket, guiding him towards the side of the building until they’re face to face in the cramped space between the apartment and its neighbor. Tanaka scratches at the back of his head, nervousness suddenly radiating off of him as he smiles at Tadashi once more. 

“Tanaka-san...?” 

“Listen, Yams… I’ve gotta be honest, man, I heard you yesterday, after we all left. Kiyoko left her scarf and I was coming back for it and I shouldn’t have been eavesdropping but like -”

“I’m so sorry,” Tadashi interrupts, his voice strained as he fights to keep his composure. He knows he’s about two seconds away from a full on meltdown, but maybe this is for the best. He’ll take a hit from Tanaka if it means not having to confess in front of the whole group all at once. 

“Hey man, hey, it’s okay, don’t freak, I’m not trying to give you a hard time.” Tanaka is surprisingly gentle in his response, one hand coming up to massage Tadashi’s arm. 

“It was the nurse, I - she just _said that_ and then everyone was talking and it was so _overwhelming_ and then that manager guy showed up and I just couldn’t find the right moment to -” Tadashi thinks he might start hyperventilating. 

“I get it. I totally get it. In fact, I need you to keep pretending like your Kageyama’s fiancé.” Tadashi stops in his tracks, mouth open as he stares at the other man, lips moving wordlessly as he tries to process what’s just been asked of him. 

“What?” 

Tanaka grimaces at him before letting go of his arm and leaning against the brick wall of the apartment building. “I know this is an unfair thing to ask, man, and you’re totally within your rights to say no but… It would really help me out.” 

“What?” 

Tanaka sighs, tipping his head up to stare at the sliver of darkening sky above them, his warm breath coming out a billowing cloud in the cold night air. “I know it’s crazy, it’s just… I haven’t told Kiyoko, but I don’t think she would say this is the dumbest idea I’ve ever had so that’s why I’m asking. Fujita has been Kageyama’s manager since he got out of high school. He signed on with that sleezeball way too early and he’s been stuck in that contract ever since. And like… all I’ll say is that Fujita is not a good dude. He’s not even good at his job and Kageyama’s only been able to come as far as he has because he’s that fuckin’ talented but like, their terms are coming up for review at the end of this year and if we can just stave that guy off til then Kageyama will be able to nonrenew. Kiyoko and I both work in the athletics industry and we’ve been looking for an opportunity to open our own managing firm. _This_ would be our big opportunity, and it would mean Kageyama could start making his own decisions in his career. But it can’t happen if he’s unconscious and doesn’t have anyone with any power advocating for him. You -” Tanaka reaches out a hand to poke Tadashi in the chest, “could be that person. Just for a little while. Just til he wakes up. Then I’ll explain everything to everyone and you won’t have to take any of the blowback. I promise. All I’d need is some time.” 

Tadashi shifts the wine bottle in his arms, trying to come to terms with the absurdity that has become his reality. He tries to not look at Tanaka, the genuine plea in the other man’s eyes far more dangerous than it has any right to be. He shifts again, trying to list the pros and cons of this proposal. Cons: he’d be agreeing to live a fantastical, borderline stalkerish lie like the pathetic loser creep that he’s apparently become. Pros: he’s already gone along with a lie that has pushed him into becoming a pathetic loser creep and he has a lot to atone for and this could possibly be a way of redeeming his soul. He looks up at Tanaka who looks back at him imploringly. 

“Please?”

“Just until he wakes up, right?” Tadashi shifts again, somehow actually considering the proposal. 

“Right.”

“And this is something that Kageyama-san wants?”

“Yes. I get if you don’t trust me, I know I come on strong. I probably should’ve told Kiyoko and had her say all of this, she’s a literal angel and probably could’ve done a way better job giving this whole little speech in the first place but oh well -”

“Okay.” 

“- Huh?” 

“I said okay.” 

The two of them stare at each other for a moment before Tanaka is pulling him in for a hug. 

“Thanks, man. I promise this won’t blow up in our faces.” Tanaka laughs nervously, patting Tadashi lightly on the back. Tadashi, for his part, can only gulp and nod. “Okay, let’s get in there and get drunk as shit. Don’t worry, you’ll love these guys. Yesterday was crappy but I swear we’re actually a pretty chill group outside of like, life and death situations.” 

Tadashi nods again and follows Tanaka back to the front of the apartment and through the glass front door. He takes a deep breath, trying to mentally prepare himself for an excruciating party full of pretending to be the fiancé of a famous volleyball player he’s half stalked since college yet knows little to no real details about. 

“Oh, one more thing,” Tanaka says, turning back to the freckled man. “To, ya know, make it convincing.” He drops a simple silver ring into the center of Tadashi’s hand. This is going to be a long night. 

* * *

Five margaritas and a whole gift exchange later (he got a headband with two penises positioned like reindeer antlers on it, courtesy of Suga and Kiyoko), Tadashi finds himself taking a tour of Kageyama and Daichi’s apartment with Tanaka and Nishinoya, the two of them making a big show of claiming to know where the residents hide their stashes of porn. 

“Daichi, your room is boring as shit!” Nishinoya yells from where he’s sprawled out on the older man’s bed. Secretly, Tadashi has to agree. The room hardly seems lived in. 

“That’s because he’s always at Suga’s, lucky bastard. I bet life is smoooooth sailing with that guy. Great cook, total mom,” the diminutive man theatrically whispers at Tadashi who giggles as he sips his drink. 

“Who’re you calling a mom, punk?” Suga’s voice is too loud as he stumbles into the room. He’s practically dragging Daichi behind him, the sleepy looking dark haired man’s arms wrapped around his waist from behind. “I’ll have you know I’m one of the cool teachers at my school. The teens think I’m _hip_.” 

Tanaka groans, laughing as he grabs Nishinoya by the scruff of his neck and tries to haul him to his feet. “C’mon dude, mom and dad want the room to themselves.” 

“No way! I’m comfy!” 

Suga slips out of Daichi’s grasp and flops down on top of the tiny man without preamble, ignoring Nishinoya’s cries of protest in favor of turning his Cheshire smile on Tadashi, who shrinks back in the desk chair he’s claimed. 

“So, Yamaguchi-san, I don’t think we’ve heard the story of how you and Kageyama met yet. Care to regale us?” 

“Oh, um, we met on the train.” 

“Oh wow, somehow I can’t imagine Kageyama starring in a real life meet-cute,” Suga says, laughing. 

“Hey, Suga, get the hell off me, man.” 

“Yeah, I can’t imagine someone as nice as you seeing that jerk’s face in public and letting him say more than two words to you without running in the opposite direction.” Daichi’s tone is contemplative despite the slight slurring in his words as he sits down heavily next to his boyfriend, crushing Nishinoya further into the mattress. 

“Oi! You guys trying to kill me?!” 

“I can’t even imagine Kageyama actually speaking to a stranger. He barely pays attention to his surroundings when he’s outside, it’s such a bad habit.” Suga rubs his chin, seemingly thinking hard. 

“I - I ran into him on accident when I was running late. Crashed into him, actually. I kind of… ended up in his lap. He was really nice about it, though. And I guess… things kind of just went from there. He takes the same train I do four times per week, so we kinda just got to know each other.” Tadashi smiles, trying to look convincing as he sneaks a peek at Tanaka who gives him a nearly imperceptible nod. 

“How long ago was that?” 

“Almost a year, a little after I first moved here after college.” He’s bending the truth a bit, but the general timeline is still close enough to the reality of when he first saw Kageyama to help Tadashi feel confident that he’ll be able to keep his story straight. The liquid courage helps. 

Daichi whistles, leaning back, much to Nishinoya’s chagrin. “Damn, Kageyama moves fast, huh? How long have you two been engaged?” 

“O - only like a week. It’s still really new. We haven’t told anyone yet, obviously. We were waiting until his parents came back from their retreat to break the news.” Tadashi thinks he sees Tanaka straighten a bit in his peripheral, the other man having obviously caught Tadashi’s use of the bit of information Kageyama’s manager had dropped back during their fight at the hospital the day before. _That’s right, Tanaka-san, I’m not totally helpless._

“Hey have you guys seen Yu?” Tadashi turns around at the sound of Azumane-san’s voice only to find himself face to face with Hinata Shoyo. He hadn’t realized the shorter man had been listening in. Somehow, he wishes he hadn’t been. 

“He’s underneath Suga and Daichi, Azumane-san,” Tadashi blurts out, trying to mask his weird reaction to Hinata’s presence. He’s not sure what it is about the redhead that makes him feel so jumpy, but something about those big brown eyes make him overly conscious of the fraud he’s committing. _I’m doing this for Kageyama-san,_ he tries to tell himself. It doesn’t really help. 

“Asahi is fine,” the larger man says with a kind smile before approaching the bed and lifting the struggling Nishinoya up by his armpits, freeing him from where he’s trapped underneath Suga and Daichi who are snickering amongst themselves. 

“Alright, alright, everyone out. My bedroom isn’t a common area,” Daichi says finally, effectively announcing that this time mom and dad really _do_ want the room to themselves. Tanaka slings an arm around Tadashi’s neck as they shuffle out with the rest of the group, Suga kicking the door closed behind them. 

“Damn, two down and it’s only,” Tanaka pulls his sweatshirt sleeve up to check his watch, “1:00 a.m.” 

“Yup, bedtime. Yu and I call the futon in the office,” Asahi says, still holding the now nearly asleep Nishinoya who grumbles something about wanting another tequila sunrise. “I think Kiyoko is already asleep in the living room.” 

Tanaka chuckles. “I’ll grab her in a bit. Yamaguchi, wanna see Kageyama’s room?”

Tadashi watches Asahi and Nishinoya disappear down the hallway before turning to the man next to him. “This is a really big apartment, huh?” 

“Yeah, well, Kageyama’s room is actually supposed to be a storage closet, but he’s been crashing here for a while now so they kinda just let him move in.” 

“He doesn’t live here?” 

“Nah, he has his own apartment. It’s a real nice place, but he’s been avoiding it because of… well, all that stuff with his manager has made a lot of stuff this last year pretty difficult. Plus, there are perks to bunking with a cop.” 

Tadashi raises an eyebrow but doesn’t ask, instead allowing himself to be led towards the end of the hallway where a soft light can be seen spilling from beneath one of the closed doors. Tanaka seems to notice it too and shoots Tadashi a look before reaching over to turn the knob. The room that’s revealed is tiny, practically only big enough for the mattress it houses, the foot of which is occupied by a very somber looking Hinata. 

“Shoyo? You okay?” Tanaka’s voice is uncharacteristically soft. Tadashi immediately feels like he’s intruding. 

“Yeah, sorry, I shouldn’t be in here,” Hinata says quickly, trying to inconspicuously wipe his eyes. 

“Hey man, he’s gonna be okay. The doctors practically guaranteed it.”

“No, I know. I know. It’s just…” Hinata’s eyes find Tadashi’s and suddenly he feels put under a microscope. His mind immediately reaches for what little he knows about the other man. He and Kageyama played volleyball together in high school, they were a famous duo who went to nations several times. That seems to be the basis for all of the relationships of the people currently in this apartment, though, and he can’t quite remember what about theirs is so unique. Admittedly, he’s never been too interested in Kageyama’s rise through the ranks as a teenager. After all, half of his love of volleyball comes from his love of handsome, exceptional men. Yikes, does that make him sound creepy? He’s definitely had too much to drink. 

“I’m really happy for you both,” Hinata says suddenly, bringing Tadashi back down to earth. The smile the shorter man flashes at him is blinding, but still seems somehow forced. 

“Thank you,” is all Tadashi can say in reply, suddenly too aware of how out of place he is. The silence that settles between them is thick, something that Tanaka seems to notice and apparently attempts to break by throwing his hands wildly in the air, accidentally knocking Tadashi’s drink into his chest, soaking the front of his shirt. 

“Oh fuck, sorry dude! Here, take that off, grab something of Kageyama’s. I’ll put your shirt in the bathroom to dry. C’mon, Hinata, help me lay out the futons in the living room. No one’s driving home tonight.” 

The two other men shuffle out of the closet sized room together, leaving Tadashi to strip out of his wet shirt and hand it to Tanaka before turning to meander his way around the tight space, inspecting the nearly barren shelves as he reaches for the small dresser next to the bed. The first thing he pulls out is a soft blue sweater that feels exactly right for sleeping in, and in his tipsy state Tadashi can’t help but giggle nervously as he pulls it on over his head. Kageyama is around Tadashi’s height but has much a broader chest and shoulders, making it so that the garment drapes across Tadashi’s thin frame, the boat neckline gaping ever so slightly to reveal the tops of his delicate collarbones. Tadashi stares at the sleeves for a moment before sitting down heavily on the mattress to reach for another one of the drawers. He needs to gather clues about his so-called fiancé if he’s going to play the part convincingly, after all. Inside he finds a number of crumpled receipts, a few pens, a used tissue, and a notepad. He flips through the last item idly, finding most of the pages to be empty save for a few in the back where it looks like Kageyama had been practicing his signature. Tadashi snorts, trying to imagine the serious faced setter sitting down to copy his own name over and over again. The image makes him laugh. After that are a few pages of simple sketches of tiny volleyballs, one of which is circled in red. He sets it down, his curious fingers moving on to rifle through the collection of receipts, opening one to find that it’s for a payment made at a tattoo shop. At the bottom in scrawled handwriting that Tadashi doesn’t recognize are the words ‘ _Korai!!! - 3/3 - penalty 2’_ accompanied by a crude outline of a butt. He opens the next. It’s from the same tattoo shop, only this time the handwriting at the bottom is incredibly neat; it reads _‘Waka - 4/1 - penalty 6’_ next to a surprisingly detailed sketch of a man’s chest. The third and final receipt is from the same shop, only this time Tadashi recognizes the name at the bottom - It’s the same as the practiced signature in the notepad. Next to it are the words ‘ _2/4 - penalty 1’_ and a drawing of a strangely sexless stick figure with the groin circled several times in a red pen. Tadashi gulps, looking back at the notepad. He’s not sure he wants to know what kind of punishment games the guys on the Adlers team get up to in their free time. 

“Yamaguchi, I set up a place for you to sleep on the couch and your shirt is hanging on the side of the tub. That cool?” Tadashi jumps nearly a foot in the air which makes Tanaka laugh. “C’mon, idiot. Time for bed.” 

He quickly puts everything back in its place before turning off the lamp on top of the dresser and following the older man back through the hallway to the living room where Kiyoko is already fast asleep on one of the couches and Hinata is scrolling through his phone on a futon on the floor. Tadashi scoots around them to the other couch, carefully getting under the blanket before turning to watch Tanaka settle himself in next to Hinata. 

“You guys all went to high school together, right?” He asks quietly, the question more of a slip of his unconscious than something he actually means to voice. 

“Yeah,” Hinata replies without missing a beat, though he gives Tadashi a searching look from his place on the ground that makes the freckled man blush. “Kinda crazy how we all managed to keep in touch, but that’s just how it worked out. Saltyshima is maybe the only one who wishes it hadn’t.” Tanaka snorts in response. 

“Is that the other guy who lives here?” 

“Yeah. He’s been in the country visiting his parents this week though, so that’s why he wasn’t here today. Lucky bastard is getting treated to all kinds of home cooking.” 

“That skinny bastard doesn’t eat enough to appreciate the luxury of home cooking,” Tanaka retorts, making Hinata laugh this time. 

“It’s cool that you guys all stayed friends,” Tadashi says, voice dreamy as he sleepily images what it might’ve been like to be a part of a tight knit group like that growing up. 

“Yeah, well, Nishinoya and Asahi aren’t usually here. They both travel a lot for a living which is so fucking prentious but yeah. It’s been okay,” Tanaka replies with a yawn. 

“You’re a part of the group now too, Yamaguchi-san,” Hinata whispers, making Tadashi’s heart clench. He nods in the dark before turning over to face the back of the couch, letting himself drift into sleep. Sure, he’s part of the group, but that’s just for now. Eventually, he’ll have to take his leave and try to forget just how fun it’s been being a part of a found family like this. Eventually, he’ll have to let this all go. 

* * *

Tadashi is awoken in the early hours of the morning by the sound of the front door swinging shut. He’s still lying facing the back of the couch so he can’t see the newcomer, but if he had to guess he’d say that the so-called Saltyshima has arrived home from his parent’s house way earlier than scheduled. The windows above the couch are still dark and Tadashi would be surprised if he’s even gotten more than two hours of sleep. 

“ _Shit_ ,” a frustrated man’s voice whispers loudly, followed by the muffled thud of a heavy bag hitting the carpet. Keys jingle for a moment before the click of the door’s lock echoes around the otherwise silent living room, officially rousing the orange haired man from his place on the ground. 

“Saltyshima, that you?” Hinata whispers, a rustling of blankets signaling the smaller man’s movement out of his makeshift bed. 

“Who else would it be, dumbass. What the hell happened here? This place is a wreck.” 

“Christmas party. You missed it.” 

“Thank God.” 

A pause. Tadashi strains to keep his breathing deep and even, feigning sleep the best he can. 

“Who’s that?” 

Another pause. Tadashi’s heart nearly stops. 

“Kageyama’s fiancé.” 

This pause is the longest one yet. 

“ _What?!”_ The newcomer doesn’t even try to whisper this time, making Tadashi nearly jump out of his skin. 

“ _Shh._ Shut up, he’s sleeping. Let’s go to your room.” They’re back to whispering now, but Tadashi can hear the strain in Hinata’s voice. 

“Hinata… What the hell?” 

“He’s a really great guy. Everyone really loves him. You should see him with Tanaka and Nishi, he’s a pro.” 

“Hinata…” 

“He’s really sweet too. Seriously, like, the nicest guy. And really cute. Exactly what Kageyama needs in his life right now.” 

“Hinata - ”

“Kei. Stop.” 

The silence that settles between them is heavy, so heavy that Tadashi feels like he might choke. He thinks he might finally understand what it is about Hinata that makes him feel so guilty. This atmosphere is oppressive. 

“Let’s go to my room,” the new guy says finally, his voice a lot softer than before. 

“Okay,” Hinata replies evenly, but there’s a choked quality in that single word that makes Tadashi’s heart clench. 

“Okay,” the other man repeats before there’s a shuffling across the floor followed by the opening and closing of a door. Tadashi lets out the breath he hadn’t realized he’s been holding, eyes watering from the effort of it. He doesn’t expect to get back to sleep after that, but eventually he manages it - the alcohol still circulating his system fogging his anxious mind just enough for him to dip back into unconsciousness for the next few hours. Clearly he’s going to have to rethink his deal with Tanaka in the morning. For now though, sleep. 

* * * 

Tadashi’s alarm goes off at 7:00 a.m., signaling that it’s time for him to get up and get home if he wants the chance to shower and change his clothes before work. The freckled man turns to find the rest of the living room empty, the futon Tanaka and Hinata shared the night before now cleared away. He guesses that they must have had earlier start times than him and left early, though he can’t discount the possibility that Hinata might’ve ended up sleeping in Saltyshima’s room. He feels bad, but he doesn’t really want to run into the redhead again just yet. 

As silently as he can, Tadashi gathers his things and creeps down the hallway to the bathroom in order to retrieve his soiled shirt. Once inside, he takes the opportunity to take a look at himself in the mirror, noticing the rosy tint his cheeks have maintained from the drinks he had the night before and the way his long hair has taken on a bit of a wave from his night on the couch. He tucks a few stray strands behind his ear, not even bothering to wrestle with the piece on the top of his head that stands perpetually above the rest. He looks okay, not that it matters. Last night was… a lot, but it was also really fun. He shuts off the light and tip toes into the hallway, his shirt in one hand and his hopes that something like this might happen again soon in the other. 

“Hi there.” 

Tadashi yelps, nearly knocking into the wall as he turns to meet the owner of the voice and - oh. _Oh._ This must be the third roommate. _Holy fucking shit._

“Saltyshima?” Tadashi tries, the goofy name sticking to the roof of his mouth and coming out a squeak that the tall, gorgeous blonde apparently doesn’t find funny. 

“Tsukishima,” he corrects with a grimace, arms coming up to cross in front of his broad chest. “Tsukishima Kei.” 

“Tsukishima. Right. Sorry. I - uh, can I help you?” 

“Who are you?” 

“Oh, right! Sorry! Yamaguchi Tadashi, it’s nice to finally meet you.” He steps up with an outstretched hand, expecting some modicum of polite niceties, but Tsukishima doesn’t bite. His hand hangs lamely in the air between them before he’s eventually forced to retract it, nervously plucking at the neckline of Kageyama’s sweater that he’s still wearing, tugging it down as something to do with his anxious fingers while he searches for a way out of this uncomfortable situation. 

“You look familiar, have we met before?” 

The question throws Tadashi for a loop and he has to tip his head back to get a good look at the taller man, squinting as he tries to think of any situation where he might’ve met someone as striking as Tsukishima and somehow not remember him. He’s right though, something about the blonde’s name pings some memory in the recesses of Tadashi’s brain, making him squint. Tsukishima Kei… Tsukishima… Tsukishima… Tsuki-

“Tsukki?” 

The blonde’s eyes go wide with recognition behind his glasses. It is. It’s him. It’s Tsukki. 

Holy fuck. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading and thank you SO MUCH to everyone leaving such sweet comments !!!!!!!! i'm having a lot of fun finishing up this fic and cant wait for you all to get to the end !!!


	3. The Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Years Eve, y'all! Hope you have a fun, safe, socially distanced night tonight <3 in lieu of attending any crazy parties, here's the next chapter of ur fave ridiculous Tsukkiyama romcom :> lmao, enjoy!

_ Holy fuck _ . 

There’s no way this is happening right now. This  _ can’t  _ be happening right now. 

The freckled man in front of him shifts again nervously, the fingers he’s twisted into the neckline of the too-big sweater he’s got on pulling the fabric impossibly low to reveal a long, slender neck and equally freckled collarbones and - fuck, okay, yeah, Hinata hadn’t been lying when he said this guy was cute. 

Kei has some vague memories of the annoying kid he spent a summer with who’d insisted on calling him ‘Tsukki’, and he’s finding it hard to overlap that image with the man in front of him now. Yamaguchi Tadashi. 

Yamaguchi Tadashi, who is a lot taller than he would’ve ever guessed the dork from his memories could’ve even hoped to be. Yamaguchi Tadashi, whose dark hair seems to catch what little light can filter through their admittedly grimy apartment windows and refracts it back tenfold, shiny chestnut locks giving way to hints of emerald like he’s some sort of ethereal being. Yamaguchi Tadashi, who is all willowy limbs and tan skin and pink lips and complicated constellations of incredibly pretty freckles that Kei is very much trying not to think about right now. 

Fuck. Yamaguchi Tadashi. Why does he feel like he’s going to be haunted by that name? 

The man in question shoots Kei a crooked smile and confused look and the taller man suddenly realizes he’s gone too long without saying anything. He opens his mouth to remedy the situation, but falls short. What exactly  _ is  _ there to say in a situation like this? 

“I gotta get going, I’ve got work in a few hours.” Yamaguchi’s voice is sweet and soft, the kind of voice Kei thinks he could drown in. “It was really great seeing you again, Tsukki.” The shorter man shuffles around Kei in the narrow hallway, their chests almost brushing when he does, which seems to send a faint flush dancing across Yamaguchi’s cheeks. 

Fuck.  _ This  _ is Kageyama’s fiancé? 

_ You’ve got to be kidding me _ , Kei thinks, something ugly unfurling in his chest as he follows the stranger from his past back towards the living room to where he’s gathered his things. 

“So you’re dating Kageyama?” The words come out icier than he means them to, making the shorter man flinch. Yamaguchi looks up at him from where he’s kneeling on the floor, one arm nearly elbow deep in his messenger bag, his eyes impossibly bright as they narrow at Kei like he’s trying to figure out the answer to some particularly tricky equation. 

“We’re engaged,” he replies finally, turning back to whatever it is he’s doing in his bag. Kei can’t help but want to shout  _ aha! _ , like he’s just extracted some part of a confession he hadn’t even realized he was after. The urge quickly dies on his tongue as he realizes just how  _ real _ the concept of Yamaguchi’s engagement to Kageyama is once he catches sight of the silver band on the brunette’s left hand. 

“I’ve never heard Kageyama mention you. At all. We’ve been roommates for nearly six months.” 

“It’s new. It was fast. We’ve been waiting to tell everyone.” 

“Waiting to even introduce you to his friends? When were you planning on getting to know all of us, the wedding?” 

“Tobio-kun has had a lot on his plate lately. If you’ve been his roommate for the last six months then you should know that.” Yamaguchi’s eyes are guarded as he straightens, a slight pout in those pink lips that makes Kei’s world tilt. Who, exactly, has the upper hand here again? 

Yamaguchi gives him a piercing look before heaving a sigh and turning towards the door. “Listen, it was really good to see you again, but I’ve gotta go.” 

“Yamaguchi -”

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi whirls around with some raw emotion that Kei can’t begin to parse out playing across his delicate features, eyes shining as he starts to say, too loudly, “I’m not going to argue with you about -”

“Thank you.” 

A pause. 

“What?” 

“I heard about the train, about what you did. Thank you. I just wanted to say thank you.” Kei watches as his words seem to melt some of the insecurities in Yamaguchi’s eyes and, oh yeah, he remembers  _ this _ . A fire he’s long forgotten roars to life in his chest, making him nearly stumble. 

“Oh. Well… thanks. I’ve gotta go now.” 

“Okay.” 

“I’ll see you later.” 

“Yeah.”

“Bye.” 

Yamaguchi smiles that crooked smile at him one last time before disappearing behind the door, leaving Kei to stew in the aftermath of his sudden reappearance. Fuck. Why does he feel like this is going to infinitely complicate his life? 

* * *

“Hinata, get the fuck up.” 

Kei kicks at the bundle of blankets that have migrated from the futon on the floor to the center of the blonde’s bed in his absence. 

“Hinata, seriously, get the hell up. Why didn’t you tell me it was  _ Yamaguchi  _ out there, for fuck’s sake.” 

“Hwuh…?” A tuft of orange hair springs forth from the folds of the mess of comforters that mark where one of Kei’s oldest and most annoying friends is currently sleeping. The blonde wouldn’t usually be this lenient with the troublesome redhead, but… well, last night was rough. It had been hard watching the silent tears stream down the shorter man’s face as he’d fought to keep a straight expression, torturing himself by listing all the great qualities of the man engaged to the guy Hinata came back to Japan to be with. Kei himself had been urging Hinata to ditch Brazil for a while, but the idiot had insisted that he couldn’t come back until he was ready to stand on the same stage as Kageyama - that only then would he be able to confess his feelings properly and finally put an end to the infuriating dance the two of them have been doing around each other since they were fifteen. It wasn’t until the start of this year when the black haired setter started to recede into himself and pull away from his friends that Hinata actually realized what was most important and scrambled to get his affairs in order to relocate back to Tokyo. Kei stares down at the shifting mass on his bed, reaching out to pull at the exposed hair. This fucking idiot. He took too long and now Kageyama is fucking engaged, to  _ Yamaguchi _ of all people. 

“Ouch, Saltyshima,” Hinata whines, his sleep-rumpled face finally revealing itself from beneath the blankets, “that hurt.” 

“I met the fiancé.” 

Hinata blinks, then slowly lifts himself up off the mattress to sit on the edge of the bed, rubbing his eyes as he does. “Oh,” is all he says. Kei sits down heavily next to him. 

“Yamaguchi Tadashi,” he says, eyes tracing the seam where the ceiling meets the opposite wall to avoid looking at the redhead. 

“Yeah, he’s a really nice guy.” 

“I know him, from before I met you guys. We were… childhood friends, I guess.” 

“Wait what?” He can feel Hinata staring at him now and wrinkles his nose as he refuses to meet those scarily intense eyes. 

“It was just for a summer but… I dunno. It was just a summer.” 

“And you  _ recognized _ him? Did he remember you?” 

“Yeah. It was a memorable summer.” 

Hinata is gawking at him now, his jaw practically on the floor. The stupid expression makes Kei twitch and he puts a hand up to push the smaller man’s face away before the urge to punch it grows too strong. “What?” he barks finally, hackles rising defensively. 

“I don’t know, man, just… that coming from you is kinda wild. I’m pretty sure you don’t recognize  _ me  _ half the time.” 

“Shut up,” Kei mumbles, hunching over to hide the flush he can feel creeping up his neck. “He was totally clingy and weird and annoying and he used to be a lot shorter and uglier and a total fucking dweeb but - I dunno, I guess he wasn’t so bad.” 

Hinata whistles lowly after a minute. “If I didn’t know any better, Saltyshima, I would’ve guessed you were talking about your first love just now.” 

“Shut the hell up.” Kei leans over to whack Hinata on the back of the head. 

“I get it, I get it! Formative years, man,” Hinata half laughs, cowering away from the embarrassed blonde. “Seriously though, weird that he’s popping back up now, huh?” 

“Yeah. As Kageyama’s fiancé.” 

“Fuck. Yeah. His fiancé.” 

Hinata seems to deflate at the reminder of who Yamaguchi is now. Kei, on the other hand, straightens. 

“It is weird that it’s him. Like, what are the fucking chances? And Kageyama didn’t mention him at all, not even to you.” 

“Would he have mentioned someone like that to me?” The sadness in Hinata’s voice makes something in Kei’s chest twinge, which in turn fuels his indignation. 

“Something about this situation doesn’t feel right.” 

“Leave the guy alone, Tsukishima. There’s no use in giving someone as nice as him a hard time just for being in love.” 

Right. In love. The words make Kei stiffen. There  _ is _ something wrong about what’s happening here, but there’s no point in bringing Hinata into it. Not when he’s already this down. Not when Kei can only imagine just how much this must hurt. He sighs, flopping down on the mattress with his arms folded across his chest. After a moment of consideration, Hinata follows; the smaller man curling against Kei’s side in a rare show of vulnerability that Kei can’t turn away from. He tries to relax, tries to be accepting of the touch, but he knows that, ultimately, this isn’t how he’s going to be able to offer his support. Childhood friend or not, Yamaguchi is going to have to answer for what he’s done to Kei’s friend group.

* * *

Kei and Hinata don’t have any obligations for the rest of that Sunday and they didn’t get a whole lot of rest the night before so, after a bit of repositioning on Kei’s part because his legs are way too long to comfortably continue laying horizontally across the mattress, the two of them drift off to sleep. Hinata’s already dead to the world by the time Kei gets comfortable, and the blonde doesn’t have the heart to kick him off the bed. After years of being worn down by the energetic man, Kei has developed a relatively high tolerance for this kind of platonic closeness. Still, though, he tends to get awkward if he thinks about it too much so he turns to face the wall and lets himself sink into sleep without a second thought, dreamed memories swirling into focus as he lets go of the material world. 

_ “Tsukki!”  _

_ A scrawny boy barrels towards Kei, his wide smile missing a tooth. In one grubby fist he’s holding a plastic triceratops, the other is outstretched towards the blonde, asking for his hand.  _

_ “Wanna go to the creek and dig up more bones?”  _

_ “It’s called excavate. Excavate more bones,” Kei says with his nose turned up like the obnoxious little know-it-all he is. He immediately tries to correct the behavior, remembering his mother’s lecture on needing to be more humble in order to keep friends, but Yamaguchi doesn’t seem to mind.  _

_ “It’s so cool that you know that, Tsukki,” the tiny boy gushes, making Kei blush.  _

_ “Shut up, Yamaguchi,” he mumbles reflexively before grabbing his own plastic dinosaur and pushing off the stair he’d been sitting on in front of his porch.  _

_ “You guys going to the creek?” Akiteru’s voice is accompanied by the grating sound of the screen door opening, and Kei frowns when he sees Yamaguchi’s eyes light up.  _

_ “Aki-nii! We’re gonna go excavate! Wanna come?”  _

_ “He can’t come,” Kei interrupts, mood suddenly souring. He doesn’t like the way Yamaguchi goes all starry eyed around his brother, jealousy curdling in his stomach as he reaches out to snatch the brunette’s hand and drag him away from where Akiteru is laughingly asking what it is they’ll be excavating.  _

_ “Tell mom I’ll be back later,” Kei yells over his shoulder, pulling Yamaguchi along with him as he takes off toward the direction of the creek.  _

_ “Be back before dinner!” Akiteru calls after them. Kei waves his hand in the air in vague agreement.  _

_ “Your brother is so cool, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi says once the two of them are alone again. “He’s like, all grown up.”  _

_ “What’s so great about being grown up,” Kei grouses, picking up speed as they near their destination.  _

_ “He’s so tall!”  _

_ “I’m tall too,” he says, turning to look down at the other boy. Yamaguchi smiles up at him without missing a beat.  _

_ “You’re right, Tsukki, you’re the coolest. I wish I was as tall as you.”  _

_ Kei reaches out a hand to twirl between his fingers the piece of hair that always stands higher than the rest on the top of Yamaguchi’s head, enjoying the way the smaller boy’s face goes bright red.  _

_ “Ah! Is it standing up again?! I really tried to brush it down this morning!” the tiny boy yells, flustered. “If I was taller then people wouldn’t be able to see my dumb hair,” he pouts, making Kei laugh.  _

_ “People would still see your hair, dummy. And what’s so wrong with being short? Your hair is fine, who cares if people see it.” Together they trapeze the rest of the way to their favorite part of the creek bed, a spot where the moss is soft and spongy, perfect for playing in and taking midday naps. They sit side by side facing the water, Yamaguchi continuing their discussion once situated, clearly wanting to get something off his chest.  _

_ “People make fun of me for my hair. They make fun of me for my freckles too. If I was tall enough maybe no one would see them.”  _

_ “You’d have to be as tall as a tree for that to work,” Kei says, and he thinks he does the other boy a favor by not pointing out the fact that he is quite literally covered in freckles, the tiny constellations splashed everywhere from his knobby knees to his neck and ears, not just his face. Following their patterns as they disappear beneath the crisp seams of Yamaguchi’s clothes makes something in Kei’s gut twist, so he averts his eyes. “Anyway,” he says finally, “what’s so wrong with having freckles?”  _

_ “You heard those guys making fun of them the other day, they said they make me look dirty and ugly.” Yamaguchi’s fingers rip at the moss near Kei’s feet, his head strategically angled downwards so that Kei can’t see the tears he can hear in the other boy’s voice. Yeah, he heard those guys. He also knows they were just being jerks, that everything they said was a bunch of baloney that Yamaguchi definitely shouldn’t listen to, but he’s not sure how to say that. Last night he watched a documentary about cats that explained the concept of ‘bunting’ - a thing cats do to comfort each other by butting and rubbing their cheeks together. Kei isn’t getting anywhere with his words, but maybe this will work. He leans down and noses at the side of Tadashi’s face, waiting until the smaller boy looks at him questioningly to move in and press their foreheads together. Yamaguchi’s eyes go wide but he doesn’t move away, giving Kei all the consent he needs to move down and rub their cheeks together, running his nose along the side of Yamaguchi’s boyish jaw before moving to the other side and repeating the same actions. He comes back to press their foreheads together once done, checking in on how well it’s working. A small smile has taken up residence on Yamaguchi’s face and he angles up to knock their noses together before leaning in to rub against Kei’s cheek and ear, moving down to nuzzle against his neck. Kei closes his eyes, enjoying the way it feels. Yeah, definitely a success.  _

_ “Thanks, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi says after a while, leaning back once he’s apparently had his fill. Kei isn’t sure he’s quite ready to stop yet, but oh well. He stands and grabs his dinosaur.  _

_ “Ready to go excavate?” he asks, trying not to smile at the way Yamaguchi scrambles to his feet after him.  _

_ “Ready!” the tiny boy shouts with a salute and a grin. Kei snorts and starts to lead the way. Maybe if they find some really good treasures today Yamaguchi will let him do a little more bunting later. He hopes so.  _

* * *

Kei wakes up in a damn near cold sweat. Thankfully, Hinata is already gone. He doesn’t know if he could have survived seeing anyone after waking up from such an embarrassing dream. 

He turns over in his bed and buries his face in his pillow, letting out a long, muffled groan. God, he can’t believe that that actually  _ happened.  _ With Kageyama’s fiancé, no less. Fuck. 

Why the hell did Yamaguchi choose  _ now _ to pop back into Kei’s life? Why like this? He turns over again after a minute, suddenly desperate for a cup of coffee. Hopefully Daichi left some in the pot, and hopefully he’ll be up for accompanying Kei to the hospital afterwards. The blonde isn’t sure he’ll be able to handle visiting a comatose Kageyama alone, especially not with the possibility of running into Yamaguchi there looming overhead. That definitely can’t happen yet. He’s not ready. 

* * *

The constant stream of  _ holyfuckholyfuckholyfuck _ hasn’t stopped looping through Tadashi’s head since he left Kageyama’s apartment, his little run in with Tsukki having left him far more rattled than he could’ve ever guessed. He can hardly remember getting home, getting changed, and jumping back on the train to go to work, but somehow he managed to do all of that on autopilot and now he’s here mindlessly making lattes while he waits for his current coworker to clock and Yachi to clock in. He needs her wise counsel ASAP. 

“Hi, sorry, I’m here. I just saw your text, are you okay?” Yachi’s voice breaks Tadashi’s trance, bringing him back down to earth. She’s early. 

“I texted you?” 

“Yeah, you said,” she looks down at her phone, “and I quote, ‘I’m freaking out I’ll see youb at worjk’. Sorry, but I’m gonna have to give you a 4/10 on the spelling. What’s going on?” 

Tadashi rubs a hand across his eyes before putting down his towel and signaling to the other guy that he’s going to take a quick break. Yachi isn’t in her uniform yet so Tadashi opens the counter door and steps out into the main area before gesturing at one of the empty tables next to the windows. Luckily, there aren’t many people in the cafe today. They sit down together with two waters before Tadashi all but collapses into his own hands, embarrassment painting his face as he starts to pour out everything that’s happened from behind the safety of his closed fingers. 

“Hold on, hold on, Yamaguchi-kun!” Yachi half laughs, grabbing Tadashi’s hands to pull them towards her and hold them captive, leaving his bright red face fully exposed. “Start from the top, okay? So you met this guy -” 

“Kageyama Tobio.”

“And he’s a famous volleyball player -”

“Yeah, and he fell on the train tracks and I saved him -”

“And he went into a coma and somehow people got the wrong idea and thought you were his fiancé -”

“Fuck, don’t remind me.” 

“And then one of his friends talked you into playing along because apparently his manager is evil -”

“Oh God, I’m an idiot -”

“And now you think another famous volleyball player -” 

“Hinata Shoyo.”

“Is in love with the one you saved -”

“I feel so bad -”

“And you also met his roommate who turned out to be your childhood friend -”

“Oh God - ”

“And he’s really rude -”

“Oh fuck -”

“And  _ gorgeous.”  _

_ “ _ I want to  _ die, _ ” Tadashi groans, trying to pull his hands back to cover his face but Yachi is faster and deceptively strong. She brings his knuckles up to her lips to stifle her laughter without relinquishing his poor fingers, taking a good long moment to revel in his misery before finally letting him go and leaning back in her chair. 

“Holy crap, Yamaguchi, your life is like a movie. You wanna know the most interesting thing that’s happened to me in the last two days? I switched cereals from Kroger to name brand. The results have been a total disappointment. How the  _ heck  _ did you get yourself into this situation in that amount of time?” 

“I have no idea,” Tadashi moans, tilting to the side in his chair, his body threatening to give out on him and land him on the floor. Yachi reaches out a steadying hand and plants it on his shoulder, righting him. 

“Do you know when Kageyama will wake up? Are they doing some sort of treatment?” 

“I don’t know, I didn’t actually talk to any of the doctors, but from what I heard at the party it sounds like it’s just a matter of time.” Yachi sits forward, resting her chin in her hand as she regards the anxious brunette. 

“Maybe you just wait, then. A week or two in suspense won’t kill any of these people, and you’d be doing Kageyama a favor. You’re still in love with him, right?” 

“I…” Tadashi has to stop and think. Sure, he’s had a crush on the pro setter for a long time now, but this whole situation has significantly shifted the earth from beneath his feet. Can you really fall in love with someone you’ve never spoken to before? Can you do all the things he’s currently doing and still claim to be in love? He has no idea, so he answers, “I don’t think I have any right to be, even if I am.” 

“If this were a movie, this would be the perfect set up to an amazing love story. Win over his friends first, then make the guy yours. You're his savior, after all - in more ways than one if you go through with all of this.” 

“I… I just don’t think it’s gonna work out like that. My life never works out like that. And what about Hinata? What do I do about him?” 

“Hmm…” Yachi leans back, scratching her chin. “Maybe talk to the guy who set you up to all this. See what he has to say about it. Worst case scenario, you let the poor guy stew for a little and then quietly take your leave once you’ve saved coma boy from his manager, leaving the two of them to live happily ever after. Best case scenario, coma boy wakes up and realizes you’re everything he’s ever wanted and the other guy just has to get over it. And hey, worst  _ worst _ case scenario, I can always set you up with one of my friends from college. His name is Terushima and he’s newly single and a little bit of a man whore but  _ really _ cute.” 

“Right…” Tadashi says, somehow not liking the sound of any of those options. He checks his phone and realizes he’s been on break for the last twenty minutes. “I gotta go, I’m still on the clock. I’m really sorry I made you get here early, I was a mess this morning.” 

“No big deal,” Yachi says, waving her hand in front of her nonchalantly. “I’m gonna get changed in the bathroom and maybe clock in early. I could use the extra money anyway. Name brand cereal isn’t cheap.” 

Tadashi can’t help but feel eternally grateful for Yachi’s easy going nature and the graceful way she’s taken the leap in difference in their dynamic, allowing Tadashi to pour all of his personal problems out for her to analyze and give advice on - something that he will forever be in her debt for. That, on top of the fact that they have the next four hours behind the counter on a slow day together, helps Tadashi feel hopeful that maybe, just maybe, by the end of his shift he’ll have a better idea of what he’s doing with his life. 

* * *

Daichi didn’t leave any coffee in the pot. He also forgot to buy any coffee grounds the last time it was his turn to go shopping, so he sends Kei out with a handful of dollars to a specific coffee shop he claims is Suga’s new favorite, promising to pay the rest of the price for whatever overly expensive crap they’re peddling so long as Kei buys the exact flavor he scrawls on the back of the blonde’s hand. Kei only goes along with it because he’s desperate for caffeine and honestly he could use the walk, the biting cold somewhat sobering, helping to clear away the memories of some of the more mortifying moments from his dream. 

That is, until he actually reaches the cafe and sees who’s sitting right there in the window with his hands all over a pretty blonde girl. Yamaguchi Tadashi, unfaithful fiancé extraordinaire. 

He puts up his hood and sneaks into the small shop, quietly placing his order under a different name with the dopey looking teen working the counter before situating himself on the opposite side of the cafe. He’s only there for a few minutes, just as long as it takes for the kid to hand him his bag of coffee grounds and a large black coffee, but it’s long enough to see what he needs to. Yamaguchi and the girl are holding hands. They’re talking and laughing and clearly very close. The girl brings Yamaguchi’s fingers to her lips and his face goes positively red. He’s seen enough. He snatches his order from the teen and walks out. 

* * *

It isn’t until towards the end of his shift that Yachi brings up the bag of Kageyama’s personal effects that Tadashi received at the hospital. Despite having included them in the story he’d recounted to her, he’s somehow completely neglected to ever actually inspect what’s inside. He never even took them out of his messenger bag. 

“Cmon, open it up. Maybe they’ll be some kinda clue.” 

“This isn’t a murder mystery,” Tadashi grumbles, but opens the bag up anyway and carefully pours out its contents onto the counter. Keys, wallet, pack of gum, can of cat food. 

The two of them slowly look up at each other in horror. 

_ Cat food.  _

“You didn’t mention that he had a cat at the apartment,” Yachi whispers. 

“There wasn’t one,” Tadashi croaks back. 

“Didn’t you say he has a different place?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Oh shit.” 

Tadashi and Yachi stare at each other for another minute, processing the facts before them. Finally, Yachi breaks the silence. “Maybe it’s okay? It’s only been a few days.” 

“Yeah, maybe…” 

“But… maybe you should leave. Like, right now.” 

“Yeah I should probably do that,” Tadashi says, already scrambling to gather his things. 

“This has got to be the address, this driver's license is new. Text me when you get there to let me know if it’s alive. I’ll do some research about what to do if it’s not.” Yachi hands him Kageyama’s open wallet before dumping the rest of the setter’s thing back into the paper bag from the hospital and tucking that into Tadashi’s jacket pocket. 

“Wait, what do I do about Tsukki? We hardly even talked about him yet,” Tadashi asks, feeling suddenly desperate as he straightens his scarf and hat, not wanting to be away from the tiny girl’s fortifying presence.

“Rude pretty boys aren’t worth your time, no matter who they are. Focus on Kageyama and the cat, then we’ll go from there. Now hurry up, I’ve got you covered here.” 

“Thanks, Yacchan.” Yachi smiles at the nickname. 

“Anytime,” she says, “now get going!” 

* * *

It takes Tadashi slightly by surprise to find that Kageyama’s swanky apartment is within reasonable walking distance of his own, not only because he hadn’t realized such a nice neighborhood was so close to his own run down block, but also because it lends credence to the fact that Tadashi’s sudden involvement in the pro setter’s life is actually his reality and not just some elaborate nightmare his unconscious has cooked up. It takes him a minute to get past the suspicious doorman, but once he announces himself to be Kageyama’s fiancé and flashes his key he’s allowed inside. It takes another few minutes for Tadashi to find the right apartment, but once he does he has to hold his breath as he inserts the key, the click of the lock nearly giving him a heart attack before he’s letting himself in and doubling over against the door. He did it. He’s here. It’s real. This is Kageyama Tobio’s apartment. 

“Here, kitty kitty,” he calls out softly, shaking the bag that has the cat food in it in the hopes that it’ll pique the interest of the creature that may or may not exist and/or be alive. “Here, kitty kitty… food time.” He creeps through the many rooms of the apartment, somewhat astounded at just how impressive it all is despite the impersonal decorating and general air of not being lived in. The view of the city from the living room is incredible, and Tadashi can only imagine what might’ve spurred Kageyama to choose living in Daichi’s closet over this. Nothing good, he’s sure. “Kitty kitty kitty,” he sing songs, starting to grow bolder. He hears a rustle behind one of the doors. He tip toes to the handle and then, with a rush of force, knocks it open, expecting to frighten a crafty cat into revealing itself but instead finds himself hitting a human-sized body…  _ hard _ . 

“MOTHER  _ FUCK-” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it wasn't abundantly clear from my last fic, I am a HUGE fan of Kei and Hinata's friendship lmfao. TsukkiHina Platonic Love Supremacy. Also, might fuck around and upload the next chapter in a few minutes since I might be too busy tomorrow / bc im just impatient lmao. Anywho, hope u enjoyed this chapter!! Your sweet comments are the best part of my day !!!


	4. The Interrogation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here's the fourth chapter a day early! Thank you for reading and please enjoy!!

First of all, Yamaguchi screams like a fucking girl. 

Second of all, Kei has no idea how he got into this mess, but he’s pretty sure his nose is broken. 

Well… Okay, so he did end up going back to the apartment after his discovery at the cafe to throw Daichi’s overpriced coffee grounds at him, but he didn’t stay there. Instead, he changed into an all black outfit which, admittedly, might’ve been a bit dramatic, and headed back out to find his target. He’d arrived at the cafe apparently way too early and ended up having to spend several hours in the bookstore across the street, waiting for Yamaguchi’s date to end before finally spotting the guy hurrying out in a rush. He followed him from there to Kageyama’s apartment, only realizing their destination once they’d gotten on the train, the knowledge that the man was going to nonchalantly waltz into his comatose friend’s house after maybe the longest date with a mistress in all of recorded history making him feel physically sick. 

He’d meant to catch the guy in some sort of act, to maybe get him alone and intimidate the truth out of him, but instead he now finds himself sprawled across the kitchen floor with Yamaguchi falling all over himself, trying to hand him fistfuls of loose ice cubes. 

“Ohmygodohmygod I’m so sorry Tsukki I had no idea you were here oh my _god!”_ the shorter man is practically yelling as he all but climbs into Kei lap to roughly wipe his face with a wet rag. The blonde snatches it from him before he can inflict any more damage, sitting up slowly with his head tilted back as he keeps an eye on the anxious brunette. 

“Is it broken?” he asks finally, wiping his nose a final time before turning to face the smaller man. Yamaguchi scrambles forward to place both hands on either side of Kei’s face, turning him this way and that before finally shaking his head and letting go, the residual heat of his palms like two burns on the taller man’s skin. 

“I don’t think so, it stopped bleeding and it looks okay.” He still seems apologetic but the obvious note of relief in Yamaguchi’s voice makes Kei roll his eyes. “I’m really sorry,Tsukki,” and there it is again, that cutesy nickname from Kei’s dream, “I had no idea you would be here and - wait, why are you here?”

Kei gives Yamaguchi a hard look before becoming conscious of just how close they still are and standing quickly with a huff. “Kageyama gave me a spare key when he got this place, in case of emergencies. I’d say him being in a coma for the foreseeable future counts as such. How did _you_ get in here?” 

“Huh? Oh, uh, key,” Yamaguchi says as he gets to his feet too, holding up a ring of keys that jangle loudly before stuffing them back into his jacket pocket. 

“Come here often?” Kei asks, eyes narrowing as he follows the nervous gesture. 

“I - just to check the mail and, you know, feed the cat.” 

_Aha! Got you._ “That’s interesting,” Kei says, and he can’t stop a smug smile from slowly starting to spread across his face, “Kageyama doesn’t have a cat.” 

“Meow.” 

Both men jump at the tiny sound, their eyes meeting for a fraction of a second before Yamaguchi is whirling around to pick up the small creature that’s just entered the room, cooing softly at the ugly thing. “Hi sweetheart, hi honey,” he murmurs, fondling the little ball of orange fluff and straightening the metal medallion on its collar. “F-Flo, hi sweet Flo, you hungry?” The cat is purring up a storm in the brunette arms and seems reluctant to be put down, but eventually it allows itself to be placed on top of the counter while Yamaguchi rummages around in a paper bag to pull out a can of cat food and pop off the top. 

“Flo? Like Flo Hyman? The American volleyball player from the 80s?” Kei can’t stop himself from asking. Yamaguchi’s mouth twists into a small, sweet smile before he’s nodding with a shrug. 

“T-Tobio-kun’s the definition of a true volleyball enthusiast. I’m surprised you get the reference, though.” 

“I’m surprised you do.” Yamaguchi only shrugs again at that. They stand in silence for a few seconds, both watching the cat Kei hadn’t known existed chow down like it’s its last meal on earth. Then the phone rings. Kei can’t help but narrow his gaze at the way Yamaguchi tenses, his big, brown eyes darting to the receiver before firmly gluing themselves back on the cat. 

“Aren’t you going to pick that up?”

The freckled man looks up at him, startled, before shaking his head and leaning against the counter in a failed attempt at nonchalance. “Nah, I’ll let the machine get it.” Kei gives him a look before stalking forward and reaching for the phone, turning back to give Yamaguchi one last chance to change his mind before picking up the receiver and bringing it to his ear. 

“Hello?” 

Yamaguchi shifts his weight nervously, clearly trying not to stare. 

_“Is Yamaguchi-san available?”_ a stern male voice asks through the phone. 

Kei’s eyes go wide before he’s unconsciously nodding, eyes darting up to look at the man in question as he replies, “just a moment,” before holding out the receiver. “It’s for you.” They switch places, Yamaguchi moving to speak into the phone while Kei retreats to behind the counter, watching curiously as the brunette takes the call. _So he’s here enough to get phone calls?_

“That was the hospital,” Yamaguchi says after hanging up, his shoulders tense as he turns towards Kei, giving the blonde an anxious smile. “Apparently it’s customary for family and friends to give blood. The others are already there.” 

“...Let’s go together, then,” Kei says finally, somehow relieved that they won’t be parting ways just yet. He’s not ready to give up on this investigation. Inexplicably, Yamaguchi’s cheeks seem to color at his words, which he quickly tries to hide by turning to dump out the rest of the cat food into a bowl to place on the floor along with another bowl that he fills with water from the tap. 

“Okay, ready,” he says finally, turning that disarming smile on Kei once he’s hefted his messenger bag on his shoulder, making the blonde twitch. It really is hard to stay suspicious of someone as sweet looking as this guy is, but Kei tries not to waver. He owes Hinata and Kageyama more than that. He won’t let himself be taken down by a handful of freckles and a few unearthed memories from an inconsequential summer in his childhood. Speaking of which, he _cannot_ think about that dream right now. 

“I came on the train. Let’s take Kageyama’s car,” he says finally, leading the brunette out of the apartment and down to the basement garage level of the building. 

“Oh, um, okay,” Yamaguchi stutters out nervously. 

“You do know which car is his, right?” 

“O-of course!” The brunette hits the clicker on the ring of keys he produces from his jacket pocket, making a car towards the back of the garage honk in response. “Right over there,” he says sheepishly, making Kei tisk. “Oh, but, um, I can’t drive it.” 

“Why not?” 

“Never got my license.” Yamaguchi shuffles nervously next to Kei as they approach the swanky ride, giving him a guilty smile as he offers him the keys.

“We grew up in a rural town. You telling me you never learned how to drive there? How’d you get around?” 

Yamaguchi’s eyes go wide before he’s staring down at his feet, something akin to a confused laugh leaving his mouth. “Wow, so you do remember. I was starting to think… well, I dunno, but, uh, no, not really. I tried a few times but driving was scary and… my parents didn’t have a lot of free time. I biked, mostly, and now I take the train so…” 

“I get it,” Kei says, his words clipped as he snatches the keys from the other man’s hand and makes his way to the driver’s side. He isn’t sure why, but the idea that Yamaguchi might’ve thought that he’d forgotten about their past together bothers him. Maybe because the truth is so very much the opposite. It’s literally the only thing he’s been able to think about since he first encountered the freckled man sneaking out of his apartment. 

* * *

Tadashi has never been great with needles, but now especially the little silver stick in his arm feels like some kind of medieval torture device. If there’s one thing you can’t do while being poked full of holes and drained of your blood, it’s run away from the kind of interrogation Tsukki is now effectively forcing him to endure. He is well and truly cornered. 

“When did you meet Kageyama?” 

“Almost a year ago.”

“When?” 

“April 3rd of this year.” Okay, yeah, Tadashi remembers the exact date like a total creep. So sue him. 

“That’s only nine months.”

“I said almost.” 

Tsukki sits forward in the hospital chair he’s supposed to be laying on, giving Tadashi an unreadable look. 

“Sir, can you please relax your arm,” the poor nurse asks the blonde for maybe the third time since they got there. Her request is ignored. 

“I didn’t see any pictures of you together in his apartment, why is that?” 

“There aren’t really any pictures in that apartment. Tobio-kun isn’t big on selfies and honestly I’m not very photogenic so…” 

“Hmph. I doubt that.” Tadashi looks up at Tsukki, surprised, but the blonde seems to have been talking more to himself than to him. 

“Okay, you two, I think you’re done. Take a minute to let your bodies adjust before you go walking around, it’s normal to get woozy after giving this amount of blood,” the nurse says kindly as she quickly works on Tadashi’s arm, disconnecting him and putting a bandaid over the small hole in his skin. He gets up as quickly as he can, hopping off his chair to make his getaway while Tsukki is still being tended to by the nurse. 

The words “Hey, wait, Yamaguchi -” follow him as he makes a beeline for the exit, but he only stops when he hears a sudden heavy thud. 

“Oh my God!” It’s the nurse speaking this time, and Tadashi turns to find the tall blonde collapsed on the floor. Oh my God indeed. 

* * * 

Tadashi can’t help but laugh a little as he helps haul his very disgruntled childhood friend through the hallway, the juice box the blonde had been forced to consume after finally coming to crushed in one hand, the other up and around Tadashi’s neck as the pair make their way through the hospital hallways towards Kageyama’s room. “I can walk by myself,” Tsukki grumbles for the fifth time, which just makes Tadashi laugh harder. 

“The nurse said almost everyone’s already in the room, just let me help get you there and then you can sit down.” He tries not to giggle when the taller man looks down his nose at him, clearly trying valiantly to maintain his pride despite the compromising situation. 

“Oh, you’re here!” Tanaka’s voice greets them as they stumble through the doorway, separating quickly before the rest of the group sees them too. 

“Yamaguchi, good to see you again,” Suga says, smiling at him warmly. 

“We just got an update from the doctor, everything’s looking good. Vitals and brainwaves all strong. Just waiting for him to wake up on his own, at this point.” It’s Daichi speaking this time, his big hand coming up to squeeze Tadashi’s shoulder bracingly before making room at the bedside to allow Tadashi near the patient. 

“The doc said we should talk to him, it’ll help him recognize our voices! Say something, Yamaguchi! Sing him his favorite song!” Nishinoya is as energetic as ever. 

“What _is_ his favorite song?” Tsukki interjects, but it isn’t just some innocent question. He directs the words right at Tadashi with a knowing glint in his eye. 

“After Dark by Asian Kung-Fu Generation,” Tadashi blurts out. He’s not sure if that’s true, but he has heard that song spilling from Kageyama’s perpetually too-loud headphones at least a few times at the train station. Maybe he’s a really big Bleach fan. 

“Is that right? I don’t think I’ve ever heard Kageyama talk about music,” Asahi muses from his spot in the chair near the subject in question’s head. 

“No one would know, he doesn’t talk about anything but volleyball,” Tsukki concedes with a frustrated twitch. “Who’s his favorite volleyball player?” 

“Flo Hyman.” 

“Ha!” Tsukki says, rising from the chair he’s been sitting in before he suddenly deflates, “...too easy, that’s the name of his cat.”

“I like Lang Ping,” Nishinoya says. 

“Kageyama has a cat?” Daichi asks. 

“I bet Hinata would know the answer to that but he’s not coming til later,” Suga says contemplatively before seemingly catching onto the tension that’s been steadily growing in the room. “Wait, what is this?”

“Yeah, Tsukishima, what’s going on? What’s with the twenty questions?” Tanaka butts in, looking nearly as uncomfortable as Tadashi feels. 

“I don’t know, why don’t you ask his _girlfriend?_ ” Tsukki seethes, breathing hard as he points an accusatory finger at Tadashi. 

_Wait, what?!_

The rest of the group go silent as they all turn to stare at Tadashi, making his face heat up at the sudden attention. 

“I don’t have a girlfriend and I have no idea why you would think I do,” he says quickly, fully aware of just how red his cheeks must be at this point. How utterly fucking humiliating to be caught in the _wrong lie_. He wishes the ground would open up and swallow him whole. 

“I saw you with her at that coffee shop. You guys were practically all over each other.” 

“You were… you’ve been _stalking me?”_ Something snaps in Tadashi’s mind and although he’s vaguely aware of the fact that he’s speaking too loudly, he can’t stop now, anger flooding his system as he rounds on the blonde.

“No, I -”

“Her name is Yachi and she’s my _coworker._ I _work_ at that cafe and we were taking a break together. She was _comforting me_ because, in case you haven’t noticed, my _fiancé_ is in a _fucking COMA._ ” He points at Kageyama before stepping up into Tsukki’s personal space, redirecting his finger to jab into the other man’s chest. 

“Yamaguchi, I -”

“I only moved here a year ago, I don’t have many friends in Tokyo, let alone anyone who I’m out of the closet to. Yachi is one of the _few people_ who knows about my situation and actually _accepts_ me, so yeah. We were talking today, and yeah, she was holding my hand to comfort me, but _that’s it._ If it hasn’t completely escaped your notice, _Tsukishima Kei_ , I’m into _men.”_

“You only moved here a year ago and met Kageyama nine months ago? At what point did you guys start dating? Who in their right mind gets engaged that fast?” Kei’s questions come out hard, defensive, his face mottled with a flush that rivals Tadashi’s as he takes a step back. 

“You said it yourself earlier, we grew up in a small rural town.” Tadashi’s voice is low and dangerous as he takes another step forward, a lifetime of anger and fear and self hatred all bubbling up at once in his throat. “You might’ve gotten out, Tsukki, but I didn’t. My parents don’t know about me. I’m not sure they’d talk to me if they did. So yeah, maybe I fell in love a little too quickly, but so what? Tobio-kun makes me happy, and I think I make him happy too. It isn’t easy for him either, you know, being a closeted gay man in Japan whose entire career is constantly in the spotlight. So forgive us for wanting to guard our relationship from scrutiny, but don’t you dare try to say that it somehow makes what we have not real.” 

“ _Prove it._ ” The blonde grits out the words, his pride clearly keeping him from being able to back down despite the flicker in the resolve that Tadashi can see in those amber eyes. The freckled man is suddenly incredibly, incredibly tired. 

“Stop it, Kei. Right now. Stop.” Daichi steps between them, firmly planting a hand on Tsukki’s chest. 

“Yamaguchi doesn’t have to prove anything to any one of us. You’re being unfair,” Suga says quietly as he wraps an arm around Tadashi’s shoulders, gently guiding him away from the blonde to sit in the seat nearest to Kageyama. He feels Tanaka squeeze his shoulder supportively as he moves past him and receives a sad smile from Asahi once he sits down. 

“Sorry about him, Yamaguchi,” Nishinoya aims at him from across the hospital bed with a forced smile, trying to lighten the mood, “he’s always had a bad personality and I think this whole situation has been stressful for everyone. We know you love Kageyama, we don’t need you to prove anything.” 

“Don’t make excuses for me, Noya,” Tsukki says from across the room, his voice utterly defeated, having lost all of its edge. 

The mood is suddenly suffocating. Tadashi needs to fix this somehow. If he doesn’t, he might end up confessing, or worse, crying. “Kageyama…” he starts haltedly before realizing what a huge mistake this might end up being. _Ah, fuck it._ “Tobio-kun has a tattoo near his groin of a small volleyball.” 

Silence. 

“Huh?!” 

The room explodes into sound as each member of the group has a very different reaction to the news, plenty of which are filled to the brim with expletives. Tadashi tries to keep his concentration on Kageyama’s face, half amazed that he can sleep through all this sound as he allows the rowdier members of the group to tug him back and forth in his chair, demanding more details. 

“Well… Tsukishima, are you planning to check? It would certainly disprove your theory, if it’s true,” Daichi says finally, cutting through the noise. The room settles down as everyone turns to gape at the blonde who tenses under the scrutiny, a look of pure nausea crossing his face. 

“I… I’m his mother. Kind of. I’ll do it,” Suga says finally, squaring his shoulders before approaching the bed. 

“Oh, Christ, I didn’t mean for us to do it,” Daichi whispers under his breath, but helps clear the area anyway, forcing a very curious Nishinoya back with the help of Asahi. Tanaka gives Tadashi a _look_ but eventually backs away from the bed too, leaving Suga and Daichi on either side of Kageyama’s sleeping form with Tadashi standing near his feet. The two older men share a look before Suga turns to Tadashi. 

“We’re not doing this because we don’t trust you, Yamaguchi, we just… Now that you’ve said it I think we all just need to know.” 

Tadashi can’t help but laugh humorlessly at the seriousness with which the silver haired man delivers his excuse, his exhaustion counteracting his anxiety enough to keep him from thinking too deeply about the consequences if he’s wrong. Suga nods at Daichi once before gingerly reaching for the waistband of Kageyama’s hospital pants. He stops, takes a fortifying breath, then peeks. 

“Well? Is it there?” Daichi says, sounding strained. The band snaps against Kageyama’s skin as Suga lets it go, his expression hidden by a shadow that’s fallen across his features. 

“Why on earth would he get a volleyball tattooed _there,_ ” he finally says weakly, sending the room into absolute chaos once more. 

* * * 

It takes a while and a good scolding from one of the nurses to finally settle everyone down, and by the time they’re all ready to go Kei has come to terms with the fact that he’s been a complete and total jackass. He almost wants to come right out with it and apologize now, but the look on Yamaguchi’s face is uncharacteristically fragile, making him think better of it. The freckled man opts not to leave with the rest of them, choosing instead to stay by the bedside of the man whose body he apparently knows very intimately for a while longer. Kei isn’t sure why he’s so surprised by that fact. He’s even less sure of the strange twinge in his chest that he gets when he thinks about it. 

Eventually, the group says their goodbyes and pile into the elevator together, the ride down to the main floor eerily quiet as they all contemplate what they’ve just learned. 

“Was it a good tattoo?” Tanaka finally blurts out, the question clearly something he’s been wanting to ask for a while now. 

“I’m not going to answer that,” Suga responds, voice wobbly as he leans into Daichi’s awaiting arms, clearly worn out by the events of the day. 

“Well hey, look at the bright side! At least he’s got something fun for Yamaguchi to look at while he’s down there! Who doesn’t love volleyball!” Nishinoya chimes in, the horrendous implication immediately met by a chastising chorus of _NOYA! NO!_

Kei closes his eyes and rubs his head. He doesn’t want to think about Yamaguchi being anywhere near Kageyama’s volleyball tattoo, but he’d rather think about that than remember the sad look the brunette gave him from the bedside of his comatose fiancé when Kei said goodbye. Yeah, that image is definitely worse. He sighs. Today did not go as planned. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a Tsukishima kinnie.... i feel okay in saying a little Tsukki slander is okay sometimes. As a treat. Bully him in the comments as u will lmfao. Also hopefully the callback to chapter 2 when Tadashi found all of those receipts and the way those discoveries come into play in this chapter makes sense lmao. ANyway, as always, thank you for reading!!!


	5. The Apology

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo!! Happy 2021! friendly reminder that u are cute and smart and worthy and loved !! i hope you've all had a relaxing start to the new year, hopefully it turns out better than 2020 did. Now, time to get back to our regularly scheduled tsukkiyama romcom :>  
> NOTE: if you'd like to skip some mild NSFW content stop reading at "Tadashi rushes up to his apartment" and resume after "he's really done it now"

The next morning finds Kei feeling even worse than he did at the hospital. He fucked up big time, and the fact that he was the one to put that devastated look on Yamaguchi’s face at the end of the visit was just the icing on the cake. Someone as pretty as Yamaguchi should never look that sad. 

_Fuck, what am I even thinking._ He rolls over to check the clock. 11:49 a.m. He kind of wishes he hadn’t scheduled all of his vacation time at the museum for these two weeks. He could really do with a distraction. It takes a while for him to get out of bed, but when he finally does emerge from his room he finds Daichi and Asahi in the kitchen unboxing what looks like a hefty marble statue of a very naked man. 

“Good morning, Tsukishima,” Asahi greets him amiably, the gentle giant shifting the toddler sized statue to his hip like it weighs nothing, all so that he can give Kei a small wave. 

“Oi, Asahi, don’t drop that thing. If it cracks the tile floor I won’t get my deposit back,” Daichi says. 

“What is that?” Kei asks, scooting around them to reach for the still warm coffee pot. 

“Engagement gift from Yu and I. Yu picked it out in Paris last time we were there. He said it would go to the next of us to get married, and I guess that’s Kageyama.” Asahi smiles fondly, clearly not aware of how strange a gift the statue is.

“Why’d you bring it here?”

The long haired man looks at him with a soft expression before picking up the statue and placing it gently back in its box. “We thought maybe you would deliver it for us. Yu is busy today and I’ve got a meeting with my designers later so it would really help us out.” 

“Can’t you just deliver it tomorrow?” 

Daichi sighs, giving Asahi an _‘I told you so’_ look before reaching over to grab the pot from Kei, pouring himself another cup. 

“We noticed that you and Yamaguchi didn’t have such a great day yesterday,” Asashi starts to say, making Kei flinch when he realizes where this is going, “and it seems like there might be some history there that you haven’t told us about but… It just seems like a shame to let things leave off on that note. We thought this might be a good excuse for you to see him and maybe apologize.” 

“I wasn’t trying to be an asshole, I just… Am I the only one who thinks all of this is weird? I mean, am I the only one who thought that Kageyama and Hinata would eventually, like, get over their bullshit and like -” He can’t finish his sentence, unsure of what it is he’s even trying to say. He doesn’t know why this _bothers_ him so much. 

Daichi sighs, placing a hand on Kei’s arm. “Tobio and Shoyo have a complicated history, but at the end of the day they’re both full grown men. It’s not our place to get involved in their relationship. Yamaguchi doesn’t have anything to do with that though, and I think you really hurt him yesterday. Take the stupid statue. It’ll be a good excuse.” Kei nods, aware of the fact that he doesn’t really have another choice. 

“Just to set the record straight, Yamaguchi and I grew up in the same town. We were friends for a summer before I moved. That’s it.” 

“Okay, Tsukishima. Here, you can take my truck. We’ll help you get it in there. And when you’re done, ask him round to dinner. Suga said he’s got some new recipes he wants to try out, we can make a whole after-Christmas-before-New-Years thing out of it.” 

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Kei finds himself sitting in Daichi’s truck parked out front of Yamaguchi’s apartment trying to figure out what the fuck he’s supposed to do. Daichi and Asahi had sent him off with a scrawled piece of paper that held the details of the freckled man’s address but had failed to include his phone number, leaving Kei to ponder how exactly those two old men think the modern world works. He supposes that, if he really wanted to, he could try to find Yamaguchi on Facebook and message him asking to meet up outside or something and just hope that he’s the type of guy who regularly checks his social media, but somehow Kei doubts that would work. _Ah, fuck it,_ he thinks finally before hopping out of the truck and approaching the front door. He squints at the doorbells, adjusting his glasses as he searches for the right name. _Yamaguchi, T. Apt. 201._ He presses the button twice in quick succession, half hoping that no one will pick up. 

“H-hello?” A familiar voice crackles over the intercom, making Kei jump. 

“Uh, hi. It’s Tsukishima. Can I come up?” 

There’s a beat of silence that has Kei shifting nervously on his feet, half convinced that he’s about to be turned away when the buzzer suddenly sounds and he has to scramble to let himself inside before it stops. 

“Up here,” he hears Yamaguchi yell from somewhere above his head. It’s the encouragement he needs to begin the trek up the stairs. Yamaguchi is waiting for him outside his closed door, a small frown tugging at the corners of his mouth as he twists the fingers of one of his hands into the neck of the oversized sweater he’s wearing. Kei recognizes it as the same nervous habit from when they first met. “Why’re you here? More questions?” 

Kei shakes his head, averting his gaze so that the other man doesn’t see the way his eyes go wide behind his glasses at the harsh tone. “No, I - Asahi and Noya asked me to drop off their engagement present. Do you want me to bring it up? It’s kinda heavy.” 

“Oh, um, nah, let’s take it to Ka - Tobio-kun’s apartment,” the brunette says after a moment of consideration, his hand finally dropping to his side. 

“Are you sure?” Kei asks, inexplicably a little disappointed that he won’t get to see the inside of Yamaguchi’s home. 

“Yeah, you know - my place is really messy and everything looks better in Tobio-kun’s apartment anyway.” 

“Okay, sure.” 

“Let me just grab my coat.” 

They walk to the car in relatively companionable silence, but once inside Kei knows he needs to say something if he wants to make it through the rest of this interaction in one piece. 

“Listen, Yamaguchi, I really want to say sorry about yesterday. I knew I was being an asshole and I just kept going and that was really shitty of me and really unfair to you and just - I’m sorry. I don’t know why I get like that sometimes, I just… that’s just the way I am, I guess.” His fingers flex against the steering wheel as he tries to reel in the mess of emotions he can feel stirring in chest at the admission. He’s not sure he’s ever said anything like this aloud before. A soft, nervous laugh pulls him from his thoughts. He turns to see Yamaguchi smiling at him crookedly, the hand at his collar clenched but still. 

“I kind of remember that about you. The Tsukki from my memories was always intensely inquisitive. I always really liked that about you.” The words feel like a punch to Kei’s gut and, fuck, has anyone ever said anything like _that_ to _him_ before? 

“Still, I’m sorry,” he tries again, needing the smaller man to get at least a little bit mad, to yell at him, _something_ \- anything other than continue giving him the look of easy acceptance that is currently gracing those pretty freckled features. 

“Don’t be. I think we… we were both probably crossing a line yesterday. I’m sorry too.” Yamaguchi gives him another, surer smile. He almost looks relieved. It’s a good look on him. 

Kei swallows, suddenly sensing just how much danger he’s in. “Well anyway, let’s get this thing over to Kageyama’s. I think you made the right choice, it’ll definitely look better in his place.” 

* * *

It takes a great deal of work between the two of them to haul the statute in its box from the truck to the elevator of Kageyama’s building, and then from the elevator to the apartment door. By the time they’ve got it sitting in the center of the setter’s living room, both men are sweaty, panting messes, collapsed next to each other on the carpeted floor. 

“What the fuck is in that thing,” Yamaguchi gasps, rolling over to fling off his jacket, sending it sailing to the corner of the room. After a moment of consideration he sits up and begins to wriggle out of his sweater too, leaving him in a thin, light grey t-shirt that looks like it might be a favorite, the material weathered and worn and possibly a size or two too small. It clings in ways that make Kei swallow hard before he too is being forced out of his outerwear by the sudden heat that’s threatening to overtake his face. 

“Open it and find out,” Kei answers belatedly once they’ve both caught their breaths. Yamaguchi shoots him a snarky look before shuffling over to the box on his knees and working open the top flap. It takes a minute, but eventually they manage to wrangle the statue out of its protective casing and out onto the floor. Yamaguchi’s face when he realizes what he’s looking at has Kei nearly rolling around with laughter, the small ‘huh? huh?’ sounds coming from the freckled man as he inspects the ‘gift’ bringing literal tears to the blonde’s eyes. 

“Stop laughing, you jerk. What the hell did you make me bring to Tobio-kun’s apartment,” Yamaguchi eventually growls, leaping on Kei with significant force to wrestle him into the carpet like they’re kids again, making the blonde laugh even harder. “What the heck am I supposed to do with this! It’s so naked!” 

“Let’s go buy it a pedestal. Right now. We can make it the centerpiece of the room. I bet Kageyama will _love_ that,” Kei wheezes, making Yamaguchi dissolve into a indignate fit of poorly suppressed giggles, his face struggling to maintain his chastising expression as he eyes the statue again. Eventually they end up sprawled out next to each other on the floor, Yamaguchi still hiccuping little laughs up at the tall ceiling while Kei keeps his head turned so that he can watch him, not wanting to miss a single second of that smile. 

“We should at the very least, like, knock off the penis or something before we leave this thing here. Engage in a little censorship,” Yamaguchi says finally, turning towards Kei with a look that says he wants to still be angry but can’t be. 

“We can’t. That’s what the Catholic Church did to Greek and Roman art in the 15th century, knocked off their dicks or covered them up with lame little fig leaves. It was a decision that’s since become reviled by the fine arts community, a historically proven faux pas.” Kei grins as he delivers his retort, reveling in the ugly snort it pulls from the brunette. 

“I love how you just know stuff. I remember that about you from when we were kids, too.” The word rolls so easily off Yamaguchi’s tongue that, for a minute, Kei thinks maybe he imagined it. _Love._ Yeah, the context makes the meaning utterly innocuous, but just hearing that word said in Yamaguchi’s sweet voice has Kei’s heart jackhammering against the inside of his ribs, all but threatening to rip itself from his chest and cross the space between them that suddenly feels infinitesimally small and utterly too vast. Oh God, he’s really in over his head. How the hell did this happen _this fast?_

“Do you remember that time we licked all the rocks in Aki-nii’s rock collection because you said if we did we might find a dinosaur bone? And he caught us and got so mad and told on us to your mom? And you spent like thirty minutes explaining how licking rocks is a real thing archeologists do and we _still_ got in trouble?” Yamaguchi has rolled over onto his side to face Kei now, one arm tucked under his head as he recounts the memory with a fond smile, making Kei’s heart clench. _Is this what he would look like in bed?_ The intrusive thought immediately makes the blonde wish he could just disappear, the subsequent flush that heats his face coming on so quickly that even Yamaguchi seems to notice it, a much lighter blush spreading across his high cheekbones as he averts his gaze politely. “I guess we should probably go, huh?” the smaller man says eventually, giving Kei one last awkward smile before hoisting himself up to his feet. 

“What do you want to do about the statue?” Kei asks, trying to keep his voice even as he stands up as well. 

“Just leave it where it is. We’ll figure out what to do with it later,” and the ‘we’ he’s talking about isn’t him and Kei, it’s him and Kageyama. Kei’s stomach sinks. He should _not_ feel this crushed. “Will you throw out the box? I’m gonna change the cat’s food really quick before we leave.” 

“Sure.” 

They work as a team, tidying up the place before finally letting themselves out. Kei hadn’t realized just how much time had passed. The sky is nearly dark. 

“Um, Tsukki? It kinda looks like the truck is parked in.” 

“Aw fuck,” Kei says, jogging ahead to inspect the space between the truck and the two cars that have been parked along the street on either side of it. Sure enough, both assholes didn’t bother to leave him nearly enough room to pull out. “Damn it, this is why I hate driving in this city.” 

“Well… I guess I’ll see you around?” 

Kei gawps at him. “Seriously? You’re gonna leave me here? On the streets with no car?” 

“Mmm, yeah. It’s cold and I kinda want to be home and you’re kind of a jerk so…” They’re both fighting back smiles. 

“I should probably walk you home at least.” Yamaguchi blinks at the suggestion. 

“Oh, um, okay but why?” 

“For protection.” 

“Oh! It’s okay, I don’t need that, I’m fine -”

“For me,” Kei interrupts, letting the grin he’s been holding back spill across his face, “c’mon, I don’t want to be alone.” 

Tadashi rolls his eyes at the joke before jerking his head in the direction of his apartment. Kei follows without question, secretly grateful that he’s being allowed to do so. He’s not ready for tonight to end. 

“So you’ve only been in Tokyo about a year, right? What made you move here?” Kei asks after a while. 

“Um, nothing in particular. I just needed to go somewhere different, you know? I’m planning to go back to school eventually, and I guess I thought I could maybe, like, self actualize in a big city for a little bit before then.” 

Kei chuckles. “Isn’t that what college is for?” 

“Probably, but I think I had too many expectations going into college. Didn’t turn out to be what I’d hoped for.” 

“And what had you hoped for?”

Yamaguchi’s smile turns slightly regretful before he’s shrugging it off with a practiced shake of his head. “I dunno, to be less lonely, I guess.” 

Kei nods, allowing the natural lull in the conversation to guide his next words. “And what about Tokyo? Has it been any better?” 

“I…” Yamaguchi seems to have to think for a moment before continuing, “it wasn’t at first. For a while. But things have been getting better, I think. Meeting all of Tobio-kun’s friends has been really wonderful, even under the circumstances, and reconnecting with you has been…” His voice trails off as he slows down a bit to bump their shoulders together playfully, the smile he gives the taller man so sweet and innocent that it makes Kei’s breath catch. “I guess I never really thought I’d ever see you again, Tsukki.” 

“Yeah, I -” Kei tries to say but has to stop to clear his throat. “I’m glad I got to meet you again, Yamaguchi.”

“You can call me Tadashi, if you want.” 

Fuck. _Tadashi._ How can a name be this charming? 

“Okay, Tadashi,” is all the blonde can say, though his answering smile seems to please the freckled man. They bump shoulders again before Tadashi is pulling away to kick at a chunk of fallen ice. He angles it at Kei who punts it into the street. They both laugh when it shatters on impact. 

“You know, I know we didn’t spend a lot of time together as kids but, I mean, maybe this is embarrassing to say but those memories have always been really precious to me. I’m not, like, the best with people and I don’t know if you remember this but I was being bullied pretty badly back then and just, yeah, I don’t know. The way you didn’t seem to care about any of my hang ups and just kind of accepted me for me was really kind of a miracle for me back then.” Tadashi is smiling up at Kei again, a deep gratefulness in his eyes that the blonde knows he doesn’t deserve. “I’ve thought about you a lot over the years. I always wondered about how your life had turned out. I’m glad that you’re, you know -” he gestures to the space between them vaguely before seemingly thinking better of it and dropping his hand, “healthy.” 

“I’m glad you’re healthy too,” Kei responds quietly, all the things he really wants to say still too complicated for him to even attempt to articulate to himself, let alone to the man beside him. 

“I’d like to learn more about you though, if that’s okay? Become friends again, maybe.” 

“If I play my cards right? Even though you’ve already seen how much of an asshole I can be?” 

Tadashi pouts cheekily at him before a genuine grin is stretching beautifully across his face. 

“Definitely have to play your cards right. Luckily for you, I’ve got a soft spot for a certain dinosaur loving nerd from my childhood.” 

Kei can’t help but grin back. “Well, here are the sparknotes. My name’s Tsukishima Kei, though my fellow nerds call me Tsukki. I played volleyball in high school and college and still sometimes play on the weekends with some guys I know but I definitely don’t envy the ones who went pro. I work in a natural history museum because I still really love dinosaur bones. I’ve been told I have a bad personality and have a hard time making friends so it’s kind of crazy that I have so many and I should probably be grateful but I’m not most of the time. I really like strawberry shortcake and homemade soup but I’m not a great cook. And finally... I also have a soft spot for a certain freckled idiot from my past who I think I kind of regret not having stayed in touch with but hey, blame my bad personality.” 

The look Tadashi gives him is all scrutinizing understanding and unquestioning acceptance, like he can see right through the blonde. It makes Kei’s stomach flip. 

“I’m glad we’re meeting again like this. It’s all been convoluted enough to feel like fate.” 

Kei knows, he _knows_ the other man doesn’t mean it like _that,_ but he can’t help it. He can’t help the ache in his chest any more than he can the fire burning low in his belly. He can’t help but feel unjustifiably hopeful, his mind already beyond all logic and reason. He can’t help but want what he can’t have. Above all else, though, he cannot let himself put a name to this feeling. That would make it real, and it’s not real. It can’t be. He doesn’t even realize they’ve reached their destination until Tadashi stops walking. 

“So, um, do you want to, uh -” Tadashi looks up at the apartment building dubiously and suddenly his intention is clear. He’s asking if Kei wants to come up with him. 

He wants to say yes - he so _desperately_ wants to say yes, but he can’t. He knows he can’t. He can’t go up there, so instead he says, “I’ve gotta catch the train. But first, I can at least walk you to your door.” There’s something sad but grateful in the way Yamaguchi smiles at his answer, like maybe he knows that he’s just been spared. 

The courtyard’s sidewalk to the entrance of the apartment building is incredibly slick, seemingly having iced over in the time it took the two of them to move the statue and come back. Admittedly, it has been a few hours at this point. He’s not sure how they managed that. 

“Whoa, careful,” Kei says when he himself starts to slip, reaching out to grab blindly at the back of Tadashi’s jacket, making him stumble backwards. 

“Hey! I was doing good until now!” The brunette tries to steady himself by putting his arm around Kei’s hunched shoulders, but that just sends the two of them slipping off to the left, Tadashi’s other arm waving wildly as both of Kei’s come around his waist, one of his hands somehow finding its way inside the other man’s jacket, making him jump. That’s the final straw. With a collective yelp both men fall, Kei taking the brunt of the impact as Tadashi lands on top of him, the two of them gasping at the loud ripping sound that cracks through the air at the collision. 

“Oh my God, what was that?” Tadashi whispers comically loud, his hand over his mouth as he tries to stifle his laughter, eyes wide as he searches the blonde’s face for any sign of pain. 

“Either my back or my pants,” Kei responds with a groan, smiling ruefully down at the other man as he gives up and relaxes onto the ice, trying not to feel the way the smaller man seems to relax into him in response. His hand is still inside of Tadashi’s jacket, permanently glued to the small of his waist where it feels like his palm was _made_ to rest. The brunette is still laughing, the yellow light from the street lamps making his eyes bright and freckles dark, the dance of their tiny constellations utterly mesmerizing as he continues to shake. Kei can’t help it. He drinks in the image of Tadashi’s happy expression, his wide smile and white teeth, the small scrunch in his delicate nose, the way his cheeks are flushed a bright shade of petal pink from the cold, the way he licks his lips and - oh, he’s not laughing anymore. Oh, he’s looking at Kei now. His eyes are becoming wider, the blush becoming darker, he’s looking at Kei’s mouth now - _oh_. 

“We should, um, probably get up before you freeze to death.” 

“Yeah, probably,” Kei responds on autopilot, though truthfully moving from this spot is the last thing he wants to do right now, frozen ass be damned. Tadashi gets to his feet anyway, leaning down to help Kei stand stiffly before all but dragging him the rest of the way to the door across the ice. 

“Have fun getting to the train,” he snickers, putting his key in the door. Kei wants to stop him, wants to ask if he can still come up, but all he does is smile and nod. “And, um, maybe text me? To let me know you get there safely.” The question in Tadashi’s eyes makes Kei’s heart clench for what feels like the hundredth time that evening. He nods again, hoping his face isn’t doing anything too stupid. “Okay… I’ll talk to you later then.” 

“See ya, Tadashi.” They smile at each other one last time before Tadashi slips inside and Kei forces himself to turn around and start making his way back home. He feels the back of his pants idly and, yup, his jeans are completely ripped. Great. 

Well, all in all, it’s been worth it. He’d endure a hundred pairs of ripped pants for another evening like that. 

* * *

Tadashi rushes up to his apartment as soon as Tsukki leaves him at the door. He’s not proud of the way he ends up desperately scrambling to the window in his bedroom that faces the courtyard, but hey, it happens, and ultimately it’s worth it. Tsukki is still struggling across the icy concrete when he gets there, one hand at the back of his pants as he tries to hold closed the massive hole that’s been ripped around the back pocket of his jeans on the right side, exposing a pair of boxers that, even from this distance, Tadashi can see are a pretty funky pattern. He laughs, biting the back of his hand to stifle the sound. God, today was fun. Possibly the most fun Tadashi has had since… well, since they were kids. He waits for the blonde to disappear around the corner before throwing himself into bed, using his pillow to mute the small whoop of excitement he can’t help but let loose, the emotions in his chest suddenly too much, too overwhelming, making him want to shout just to be heard. Just to be seen. Tsukki sees him - he knows he does, and _God_ , it feels amazing. Tadashi hadn’t missed the looks the taller man had been shooting him since his apology, but he’d been hesitant to believe them, too quick to convince himself that it was just wishful thinking on his part, but… That moment on the ice had been undeniable. There’s no way that wasn’t real. He hunches over, touching his forehead to the mattress as his breathing becomes ragged at the memory. Before he knows it, he has one hand down the front of his pants. He needs more, though, he needs… The memory of Tsukki’s golden eyes flashing in the dark, full of a hunger that Tadashi’s only ever _dreamed_ about has him tumbling over the edge with a pathetic mewling sound. Jesus, that’s embarrassing. When he and Tsukki - Tadashi stops, his brain stalling as he tries to follow that line of thought. When he and Tsukki...what? Do anything other than be friendly acquaintances who will eventually have to part ways because Tadashi is fake-engaged to one of Tsukki’s best friends? That will never, ever happen. The full weight of the consequences of everything he’s just done drops on Tadashi like a ton of bricks, leaving him flattened against the bed. Fuck. What the fuck is he doing. What the fuck has he _done_?

* * *

As soon as he gets home Kei locks himself in his room and tosses off most of his clothes. For the first time in months he reaches for the spare bottle of lube he keeps in his bedside table, quickly slicking himself up as he thinks of those full lips and freckled cheeks, the way the soft curve of Yamaguchi’s waist had fit perfectly in his hand and the way those big brown eyes had sparkled under the street lights, starry as they’d skated down Kei’s feature to rest on his mouth. _Fuck_. He’s coming into his hand before he even has the chance to review the whole memory - not that his sudden orgasm stops his brain from continuing to pick apart every moment in high definition, extracting each precious detail before locking them away in his heart. God fucking damnit. He’s really done it now. 

* * *

From: Tadashi  
Hey, are u working tomorrow?

From: Yachi  
Yea, why?

From: Tadashi  
We need to talk. I fucked up 

* * *

From: Tsukki  
Got home alive. Also I forgot to ask, but would you  
want to come to dinner Weds night at mine? Daichi  
likes pretending like we’re grownups around the holidays  
and Suga will be cooking so there will be good food  
at least  
[Seen 7:32 PM]

From: Tadashi  
I’d love to :)  
[Seen 12:20 AM]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u all enjoy pining tsukki as much as i do lmao. i love watching him suffocate on his own love for yams ◉‿◉ lmfao. he and i have that in common. Anyway, thanks for reading !!!!!!!!!


	6. The Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao these boys are so embarrassing. *insert that 'you want to kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid' meme here.* Anyway, enjoy the pining!!

“Okay, out with it. Thanks for that cryptic text yesterday, by the way. I’ve been jumpy ever since,” Yachi says with an unimpressed expression as she crosses her arms and waits for Tadashi to finish tying his apron. He groans, suddenly unsure about whether or not this was a good idea. Saying it out loud might be the final nail in his coffin. “So?” she says, tapping her foot impatiently. He turns towards her and tries to follow his instincts; before he knows it he’s blurting it out. 

“I think I like Tsukki.” 

“Huh?” 

He lets out a pitiful moan and drops his forehead on the counter, making the container where they keep the spices rattle. 

“Wait, Tsukki is… Tsukishima? the guy you knew as a kid, right? The mean one? What do you mean you  _ like _ him?”    
  
“I mean we hung out last night and it was maybe the most exciting, stupidly romantic, fun, fucking - argh just help me, okay? I have no idea what to do. I feel like I’m dying.” 

“Isn’t he roommates with coma boy?” 

“Kageyama, yeah. They’ve been like, best friends since high school or something.” 

“Jesus H. Christ, Yamaguchi-kun. What the hell are you doing? I thought you liked coma boy.” 

“I thought I did too, but…” He bangs his head again. Hard. 

“Okay, so maybe just tell this Tsukki the truth.” 

“And what? Have him never speak to me again?” He looks up the petite blonde with a reproachful glare, aware of the fact that he’s acting like a petulant child but unable to stop himself. 

“Well, what else is there to do? Either he finds out one way or another or you, I dunno, actually marry Kageyama and never get to be with him anyway.” She throws her hands up before turning to greet the customer who has just walked in. “Listen, Yamaguchi-kun,” she throws over her shoulder, “I think you should let me introduce you to Terushima, that guy I know from college. I think meeting someone new and actually available might, like, put some of this into perspective for you, okay?” 

Tadashi doesn’t hear her, too lost in his own thoughts. He needs to do something to fix this, but he definitely can’t tell Tsukki. That’s not an option. Not yet, at least. Not now. 

* * *

“Hey, Hinata, let me in, will you? We need to talk.” Kei has spent the last fifteen minutes pounding on the front door of a house he’s starting to fear might not be the airbnb his friend is currently staying at. The fact that the redhead has been back in Japan for the last four months and still hasn’t found an apartment is just sad, but he’s got more pressing matters to discuss right now. 

“Don’t you know how to use a phone?” Hinata sounds uncharacteristically grumpy as he opens the door, still in his pajamas. 

“Why should I have to with you. Let me in.” 

He kicks out of his shoes in the front entryway, taking a moment to register all of the portraits of cats lining the walls. Okay, maybe he has a little time to give the other man a hard time about his living situation. “Dude, you need to get your own place.” 

“This place is better than the last.”

“Why not just rent an apartment? It’s not like you can’t afford it.” 

“I thought Kageyama and I would… My plans changed, okay?” 

“Yeah, about that -” Kei sits down heavily in the nearest available armchair, shrugging out of his coat before propping his feet up on the coffee table. Hinata takes the couch across from him, the mess of blankets and pillows already strewn across the piece of furniture making it clear that that’s where he’s been spending most of his time. 

“Don’t you have practice or training or something?” Kei asks, his concern for the lack of enthusiasm coming from his usually most enthusiastic friend mounting. 

“Off for the holidays. Got nothing to do til then.” 

“...Right.”

“I heard you gave Yamaguchi a hard time on Sunday at the hospital. Noya said it was a real shitshow. I hope you know I didn’t ask you to do that.”

“I didn’t do it for you, dumbass. And anyway, I’m not - I’m not gonna do that again.” Kei says with a tone of defeat, sitting back in his chair to rub a hand across his face. 

“Finally realized Yamaguchi’s a pretty nice guy, huh? Don’t tell me you’ve finally grown a conscience.” 

“I…” He stops, weighing his words. There are deep bags under Hinata’s eyes that tell him the poor guy hasn’t been sleeping. If there are two sadder sacks of shit in Tokyo right now than them, Kei doesn’t want to meet them. “I think I’m in love with him,” he says finally, steeling himself for a reaction. 

Hinata just blinks at him. Once. Twice. 

“You barely know the guy.” 

“Yeah? Well I’ll bet you anything I know him better than Kageyama does.” The words come out more bitingly defensive than he means them to, making him flinch. 

“That’s fucked up.” 

“Yeah, well…” 

They stare at each other for a minute before Hinata is sinking into his nest of blankets with a groan, his hands coming up to cover his face. “Jesus Christ, this is fucked up.” 

“Tadashi and I grew up together and, I mean, we hung out yesterday and just… there’s no way someone as - as unobservant and insensitive as Kageyama could ever make him happy, at least not in the long run. I mean, I know it sounds crazy but -

“Jesus, Saltyshima, this isn’t the plot of the wedding crashers. I mean, first of all, I don’t think you have any right to be saying all of that shit, but also, like… For all we know Kageyama might not ever wake up from this coma. I mean, I guess you’d get your chance at Yamaguchi if that happened so I guess it doesn’t matter but -”

“Fuck - no, Hinata, that’s not what I’m saying, I just -” Kei lets out a long exhale, bending forward in his armchair until his head is nearly between his knees, trying to gather his thoughts. “Kageyama is gonna wake up, and when he does -”

“You’re gonna steal his fiancé?” They stare at each other, deadlocked. 

“Aren’t you in love with him?” Kei asks harshly after a minute, his hackles rising. “I mean, what about that?” 

Hinata stares at him for another minute, then very quietly says, “yeah.” That single word seems to take the fight out of both men. They lean back in their respective chairs, not meeting each other's eyes. 

“You finally admitted it, huh.”

“How can I not after you said  _ that. _ ” Hinata says. Kei huffs a laugh in response. “Seriously, Saltyshima… I never thought I’d hear you say you were in love with anybody. Definitely didn’t have you pegged for a love at first sight kinda guy.” 

“Shut up. It’s not like that. Tadashi’s… different.” 

“Sap.” They both laugh ruefully, twin tired smiles on their faces as they look at each other, wallowing in their shared misery. 

“Aren’t we depressing,” Hinata says finally, reaching around the side of the couch to produce two lukewarm cans of beer. He tosses one at Kei. “In love with people who are in love with each other. How lame.” 

* * *

Tadashi shows up to the apartment at seven on the dot, armed with a bottle of Prosecco and a box of homemade strawberry shortcake cookies.

“Yamaguchi! I’m so glad you came!” Suga is the first to greet him, giving him a tight hug. The man is wearing a very pretty red apron over his normal clothes, the edges of it adorned with scalloped ribbon and hardly a speck of food on the front.  _ He must be a very skilled cook, to keep that thing clean. Maybe I should ask him how he does it _ , Tadashi thinks, before catching the way Daichi’s eyes are following the silver haired man, looking hypnotized by the swish of the red fabric from behind the beer he’s pretending to drink as Suga busies himself around the kitchen.  _ Nope, nope, not gonna ask. Gotta get out of here.  _

He hangs his jacket quickly by the door and moves into the living room where Tanaka and Kiyoko are cuddled up in one of the arm chairs, cheering on Asahi and Noya as the two of them show off some foreign dance they apparently learned during their last tour abroad. Tadashi sits down at the edge of the couch, easily joining in on the fun despite the creeping feeling that he’s become the odd man out once again. 

Then Tsukki walks in, and suddenly the world rights itself. 

He looks grumpy and is holding a plastic bad, the big jacket he’s wearing covered in snow. “Oh, you got them? Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have no idea how I forgot,” Suga sing songs, taking the bag from the blonde’s hand before being caught around the middle by Diachi who looks like he can’t contain himself anymore. 

“Yeah, I wonder,” Tsukki says with exaggerated sarcasm and a roll of his eyes. Tadashi tries not to stare as the taller man toes off his shoes and takes off his jacket, revealing a fitted black turtleneck that seems to sharpen all of his features, making him look regal. Asahi presses a glass of something fizzy and pink into Tadashi’s hand, the rim covered in sugar and topped with a candy cane. 

“Drink slowly, Noya made them,” he says with a wink, and Tadashi thanks him gratefully. He considers the drink for a moment, but ends up bringing the glass to his lips and taking a big sip anyway because he needs the distraction. 

“Yamaguchi-kun, I noticed a Tawara Machi book in your bag earlier. Are you a fan?” Kiyoko leans over to ask, breaking his reverie.

“Oh, yeah! I mean, I just started it, but yeah, I’m really enjoying it.” 

They talk for a while about everything from poetry to coding, and Tadashi is pleasantly surprised to find that he has a lot more in common with the beautiful woman than he had originally thought. Eventually, though, Tanaka butts in, insisting that his wife’s haikus are the best there are and that everyone who’s anyone should read them before they die. She karate chops the top of his head to shut him up. 

“Are you ever planning to publish them?” Tadashi is in the middle of asking when he feels a dip in the couch to his right, announcing a new presence. He turns to find Tsukki scooting in next to him, their legs pressing together as the taller man adjusts his position, one arm coming up to rest lazily across the back of the couch behind Tadashi’s shoulders, the other in his lap balancing both a drink and a cookie in one of his huge hands. 

He brings the two fingers that are holding the cookie to his mouth, taking a bite before saying, “these are good.” 

“Yamaguchi-kun made them,” Kiyoko supplies helpfully before turning back to her still cowering husband. 

“Did he now,” Tsukki says, glancing at Tadashi from the corner of his eye with a smirk. Tadashi feels himself start to blush, the creeping heat growing at the back of his neck where he’s sure Tsukki can see it, what with the way he’s practically nestled into the blonde’s side. He’d known the strawberry shortcake cookies had been a bit of a desperate move, but shit, he hadn’t realized he’d be found out so fast. He brings a hand up to twist into the neckline of his sweater but finds his fingers stopped by a cool hand. He looks down at Tsukki’s lap to see his right hand still holding his drink. He looks down at the hand on his and realizes it’s coming from over his shoulder. Tsukki has his arm around him. He’s asking Tadashi not to be nervous. He looks up. 

“They really are good, Tadashi, thank you.” The words are low, whispered, just for him, the smile that accompanies them genuine and warm. Something brightens in Tsukki’s eyes as he seems to drink Tadashi in, that amber gaze hypnotic in the way it seems to bare all for the smaller man - hopes, fears, desires, they’re all right there, plain as day, waiting to be deciphered, waiting for Tadashi to come  _ closer _ . 

The blonde backs off just as quickly as he came, leaving Tadashi suddenly wishing for too many things at once. He wants to get up and cross the room and take Tsukki with him, disappear with the other man behind one of the closed doors in this apartment. He wants to run away, far enough so that he’ll be able to think again, to remember what the hell he’s doing here. He wants to do what the rest of the couples in the room are doing - lean into the firm chest of his partner and lose himself in the safety and warmth he knows he’ll find there. He wants to do literally anything other than what he’s currently doing, which is sitting very stiffly, centimeters from the man he can’t stop fantasizing about, his hands on his knees as he tries to smile and socialize, all without letting anyone see just how embarrassingly tight his pants have become. 

“Hinata’s here!” Nishinoya’s excited voice snaps Tadashi back to reality, and the redhead’s presence seems to have a nullifying effect on the blonde’s touchy-feely behavior. Tadashi takes a breath, trying not to feel disappointed. He can do this. He can survive this. He just needs another drink. 

* * * 

At some point the party sits down to dinner, the spread on the dining room table the utter definition of a feast. Tadashi doesn’t really taste it though. He’s on his third cocktail of the night and seated beside Tsukki who keeps up a running commentary of insults aimed at his drunken friends in Tadashi’s ear that has the smaller man in stitches for most of the meal. Every now and then the brunette leans over to make his own observations to the blonde, the two of them always ending up snickering together until Nishinoya or Daichi finally catch on and yell at them to either share with the class or knock it off. By the end of the night, Tadashi is almost asleep on the couch, his head on the blonde’s shoulder and body curled loosely against him, basking in his body heat as the credits to Elf play in the background. 

“Okay, guys, probably time for bed. Anyone who wants to stay can. I’ll grab the futons.” Daichi’s voice rouses him enough to look over at Tsukki who’s passed out too, his long blonde lashes fanned out on his cheeks beneath his glasses, which are currently sitting askew on his face and leaving little pink indents on the sides of his nose. Tadashi shakes his shoulder a bit to wake him up. 

“Tsukki, time for bed,” he whispers, and is startled when the other man’s eyes go suddenly wide. “I’m gonna leave now, but you should go to your bed,” he tries again, and after a minute the blonde nods, the uncharacteristically unguarded expression sliding off his face as he starts to stand. 

“I’ll call you a cab.” 

Twenty or so minutes later, Tadashi is saying his goodbyes. Tsukki walks him to the door and is handing him his bag when he hears, “hey! You guys are under the mistletoe!” 

Tadashi looks up to find that, indeed, someone has planted a sprig of something green above the doorway under which he and Tsukki are now standing. 

“Hey, who put that there?” Suga asks accusingly. 

“You have to kiss!” Nishinoya insists. 

“Fuck off,” Tsukki says half heartedly, but he’s too tired to sound convincing. 

“Don’t be homophobic, dude. Bros kiss. It’s cool,” Tanaka responds, puffing his chest out as he gives the blonde a thumbs up which just makes everyone roll their eyes. 

“For Christ’s sake,” Tsukki says before grabbing Tadashi’s face and leaning in for a peck. It’s quick, too quick, but his hands are gentle and his lips are warm and Tadashi finds himself wanting to lean in for more. It’s only the taller man’s hands still on either side of his face, holding him still, that prevents him from trying. 

“This dude’s wasted so I’m walking him out. The mistletoe better be gone when I come back. I’m not kissing any of you bastards.” 

A hand on his back guides Tadashi the rest of the way out of the apartment and into the cold night air below. 

“Sorry about that,” Tsukki says once they’re outside. 

“It’s okay,” Tadashi responds, the words heavy in his mouth. There’s so much more he wants to say, but above all he wants to complain because it was too fast, too unexpected, and he didn’t get to enjoy it at all. He pouts at the snow until a horn honks, making him jump. 

“That’s your taxi.” 

Tsukki helps him in and then gives his address and a wad of bills to the driver before turning back to Tadashi with a fond smile. “You gonna be okay?” Tadashi nods, not sure if he’s allowed to say he’d rather stay here with the blonde but that, if he has to go, then yes he’ll be okay. “Text me tomorrow so I know you’re not dying of a hangover. I’ll see you later, okay?” 

“Okay, Tsukki.” 

Another small smile. “Bye, Tadashi.” 

* * *

“We are never letting Noya make the drinks again,” Kei says as he steps back into his now quiet apartment, Daichi the only one left still awake. “Did they leave?” 

“Yeah,” Daichi says, looking up from where he’s washing dishes. Kei starts to walk past him but the older man switches off the water and turns around, his face serious. “Hey, Tsukishima. Be careful, okay?” 

Kei’s eyes narrow as he lets the words sink in. “I’m always careful,” he responds finally. 

“Right, I know, just… With this, you really need to be. So just - be careful, okay?” 

“Okay.” Kei gives him a curt nod before quickly escaping into his bedroom, the door closing a little too loudly behind him once inside. 

* * * 

“Did you know Tsukishima was interested in men?”

Suga looks up from where he’s reading a book on Daichi’s bed. It’s nearly 1:00 a.m. but he has at least 300 more pages if he’s going to make his deadline. Why on earth did their book group choose Infinite Jest?

“No, but to be fair I didn’t really think he was into women, either.” 

“Yeah,” Daichi says as he sits at the edge of the mattress to pull off his clothes and ready for bed, “I guess we all thought he wasn’t really into anyone. He’s never shown any interest.” 

“That Yamaguchi is a bit of a dangerous fellow, huh?”

“I didn’t realize it would turn out like this when I sent him to go give him that ugly statue.” Daichi sighs, guilt etching heavy lines into his still too young face. Suga lifts the comforter, coaxing the other man towards him with a kiss on his temple. 

“It’s not your fault, you couldn’t have seen this coming. And… Tsukishima looked really happy tonight. That doesn’t count for nothing.” 

“That’s what scares me the most. I don’t want either of them to end up hurt,” and Suga knows he’s talking about Tsukishima and Kageyama, their two most emotionally constipated friends. How deeply unlucky for them both to have fallen for the same sweet man. 

“It’ll be okay, you’ll see. The universe will figure it out. And if it doesn’t, I will.” Daichi turns to gather the silver haired man in his arms, humming a deep note of appreciation as the two of them relax into the bed. 

“Thanks, Koshi. And thanks for dinner tonight, it was lovely.” 

“Be a good boy and stop worrying about everything for a minute and next time I’ll let you watch me cook in nothing  _ but _ the red apron,” Suga jokes quietly, making Daichi chuckle. 

“Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive been rewatching all of haikyuu lately with my partner and every time suga and daichi are on screen we both lose our collective shit. i would die for both of them, straight up. no questions asked. also sad pining hinata is like my new hobby lmfao. my next fic will probs be a tsukkiyama/kagehina 4-points-of-view-two-converging-stories-complicated-to-write-bullshit kind of fic with LOTS of sad pining hinata, just a heads up lmfao. anyway, thank you for reading!!!!!


	7. The New Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayooo welcome back ! i dont really have anything to say rn, im gonna go eat a sandwich after uploading this so... enjoy !!

The next morning Kei wakes up early and heads to the hospital first thing, Daichi’s words from the night before still echoing around his head. 

“You asshole,” he all but growls as he approaches his comatose friend. “Wake up already and put me out of my misery. I need to talk to you.” 

No response, not that he really expected one but the lack of expression on Kageyama’s usually open book of a face takes the wind out of Kei’s sails somewhat. He collapses into the chair next to the bed with a huff. 

“I’ve never…” he starts, feeling a little foolish to be saying this aloud, but, after a moment, he pushes on anyway, “I’ve never envied anything you had. Never. Not when you got scouted and the rest of us didn’t, not when you went pro. Not when you started traveling the world and started making stupid amounts of money. Not when you went to the olympics and actually made some friends. Not when Hinata finally realized he was in love with you and came all the way back to Japan just because of that. None of it. I’ve never wanted what you had.” He stops, looking down to where his fingers are twisting in the hem of the bedsheets, his knuckles going white with the exertion. 

“Not until now,” he says quietly, teeth clenched as he fights back the prickling heat he can feel building in his throat. 

“You don’t deserve Tadashi,” he adds after a while, trying to maintain his fight. “Just look at Hinata. You’re neglectful and obtuse and have never known how to be delicate with people. Tadashi needs someone who can read him, who knows how to look at what’s going on behind that stupidly cute smile.” He covers his eyes with one hand. “It’s fucking infuriating trying to imagine you doing that. You’d be like a bull in a china shop. I can’t even picture it. I have no idea how you convinced him to go out with you.” 

A pause. Kei isn’t sure if he’d been hoping for a reaction of some sort, but the lack of one makes him deflate. 

“And what about Hinata, huh?” he asks tiredly, “you really just gonna throw him away after all of this? You didn’t even tell him you were getting engaged. Isn’t that kind of fucked up? And, Jesus, look at what you’re doing to me. At what point did I go from wondering why you would’ve chosen Tadashi to why Tadashi chose _you_? I can’t… I know I can’t compete with you, mister famous volleyball player, but fuck… What else am I supposed to do.” 

He leans back in his chair, covering his face with both hands before letting out a ragged sigh. “Fuck you, Kageyama,” he says finally, voice heavy with defeat. “You know what, I’ll play you for him. You spike, I’ll block. First person to five points gets to keep Tadashi.” He looks over at the sleeping setter, face twitching as he takes in the callouses he can see built up on the other man’s hands. “Actually, better make it ten points.” 

* * *

“I’m going to introduce you to him on New Years.”

“Who?”

“Terushima.”

“Who’s that?”

“Have you not been listening to me for the last fifteen minutes? Have I just been talking to myself?” Yachi crosses her arms over her apron, a disappointed frown on her usually cheerful face. 

“Sorry, Yacchan. I’m hungover,” Tadashi says sheepishly, the apology somewhat undercut by the whir of the blender as he continues to make the complicated drink he’s been working on. 

“Don’t try to blame your hangover again, we’ve been here for hours. Your fine. You’re just obsessed.” 

“I’m not obsessed.”

“You are. You’re obsessed with a guy you barely know even though you’re _engaged._ ”

“I’m _not_ engaged!” 

“Well then go for him. Make a move on Tsukishima or else I’m gonna introduce you to Terushima. Pick your poison. Choose your Shima.” She points the whipped cream canister at him like a gun. 

“Can’t I just… not?” Tadashi all but whines, prompting Yachi to squirt him with the whipped cream. He yelps. 

“No. You need to take action, grab the bull by the horns. Otherwise I’ll end up being the only one who makes any of the drinks around here. You’re absolutely useless when you’re pining.” 

“Ugh.” He turns back to the watery sludge he’s made in the blender. Yeah, she’s right, he’s going to have to remake that. He starts to dump out its contents, trying to refind his focus as he squints at the recipe card. 

“You’re coming.” 

“Coming where?”

“My New Years Eve party! Yamaguchi! Pay attention!” 

“What’s this about a party?” a low, alluring voice asks from behind Tadashi, making him jump. 

“T-Tsukki!” 

“Hi, Tadashi.” Oh God. How can he make Tadashi’s own name sound so sinful? 

The blonde smiles down at him before glancing up at the chalkboard menu. 

“Oh! Sorry, um, are you here for coffee?”

“Nah, I was coming home from the hospital and thought I’d stop by to see you. I guess I should probably pay for something, though, to justify taking up your time. What’s your favorite drink?”

Tadashi can feel his cheeks warming under Tsukki’s intense gaze, the blonde’s admittance that he purposely went out of his way to see him making the freckled man preen. 

“I’m not sure you’ll like my favorite drink,” Tadashi says, laughing. “You seem like a black coffee kind of guy.”

“You calling me pretentious?” 

“No!” Tadashi says, flustered, “just, I dunno, classic.” 

Tsukki’s eyes are warm, filled with held-in laughter when Tadashi looks up at him. Their golden gaze smoulders when Tadashi fails to look away within the appropriate amount of time. A cough behind him finally snaps him back to earth. 

“I’ll make you a black coffee. It’s on me.”

“Thanks, Tadashi.” Tsukki says, still smiling as he takes a step back, finally releasing the brunette from his gravitational pull enough for him to do his job. “So what’s this about a party?” 

“My party,” Yachi says, bouncing into the taller blonde’s view. “Hi, I’m Yachi Hitoka, Yamaguchi-kun’s bestest friend.” 

“Well, in that case, it’s an honor to meet you, Yachi-chan. I’m Tsukishima Kei, Tadashi’s -” the blonde’s eyes meet his, something complicated reflected in their depths, making the smaller man tighten his grip on the cup he’s holding. After a second Tsukki says “friend. Tadashi’s friend.” 

“Well, Tsukishima-san, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Feel free to come too, if you want. It’s a New Years Eve party at my place, make Yamaguchi-kun take you. It’ll help motivate him to actually come out and socialize.”

“Sounds like fun,” the taller man says with a teasing smile. “What do you say, Tadashi? Wanna go together?” 

“O-okay,” the freckled man manages to respond, eyes wide as he watches the blonde’s smile become a roguish grin. _Holy crap, he’s handsome._

“Cool, I’ll text you. See you then.” Tadashi hands Tsukki his coffee and waves goodbye as the other man takes his leave. When he’s finally out of sight, Tadashi all but collapses. 

“Okay, yeah, I get it now,” Yachi says with a pensive look on her face, making Tadashi groan. “Look at the bright side, Yamaguchi-kun - you’ll have me in the room to moderate.”

“Moderate what?” the brunette asks weakly, looking up at her from where he’s pressed his cheek against the counter to cool his face. 

She winks at him. “Let the battle of the Shimas begin.” 

* * *

“So, Yama-chan! How’re you liking the party?” 

There’s a douchebag talking to Tadashi. They’ve been talking for the last thirty minutes. Said douchebag has shown off his tongue piercing at least twice in that amount of time. It makes Kei want to puke. 

“Hey, everyone, it’s almost time!” Kei hears Yachi yell from somewhere within the heart of the crowd that surrounds them. He’s currently leaning against a wall watching Tadashi blush and stammer under the predatory gaze of Yachi’s college friend. Jesus, does this guy have no subtly? 

The night had started off nice enough, with Tadashi picking Tsukki up before the two headed off to the party together. They’d even stopped to pick up a bottle of champagne on the way. It had been fun, casually hanging out like that, just the two of them. It had been easy, their banter having been nearly perfected after the last dinner party, making it so that conversations with the freckled man feel nearly as natural as breathing. Really, it’s kind of remarkable how well their personalities synch. Tadashi is maybe the first person who actually gets Kei’s humor and, better yet, thinks he’s genuinely funny. The brunette himself is hilarious, and he’d thought the night would be filled with the two of them snarkily making fun of the other party goers together until midnight. 

That didn’t happen. Yachi introduced the douchebag soon after they arrived and Tadashi’s been being monopolized ever since. 

“Yama-chan, you’re so cute when you blush like that.” 

Kei sees the way Tadashi’s eyes widen, one foot sliding back as far as it can in the packed room, trying to give him some space. The bottled blonde man leans in further, teeth bared, one hand coming up to Tadashi’s waist. Okay, that’s it. Kei’s had enough. 

He approaches the two men quickly. The crowd refuses to part easily for him, but that doesn’t stop him jostling his way through anyway, using his height to his advantage as he glares down at his fellow party goers, silently commanding them out of his way. He comes up behind Tadashi quickly, one hand reaching out to knock away the douchebag’s hand and replace it with his own. He pulls the smaller man back towards him until they’re nearly touching, someone’s shoulder knocking into Kei so that, for a brief moment, his chest is flush with Tadashi’s back. 

“And who are you?” the douchebag asks with a slimy smile that makes Kei’s skin crawl. 

“Tsukishima Kei.”

“Terushima Yuji, good to meetcha, Tsukishima-kun. You a friend of Yama-chan’s here?” 

“Yes.” Kei’s voice is tense, clipped, and he can feel Tadashi trying to twist around to look at him with those big brown eyes of his but he refuses to meet them, keeping his gaze fixed on the imposter as he tries to think of a good enough excuse to steal the smaller man away. 

“Yachi never mentioned you were bringing a friend, Yama-chan,” Terushima says to Kei’s companion, his smile turning biting as he eyes the pale hand still wrapped possessively around the small of the freckled man’s waist. 

“Um, Terushima-san, why don’t you give us a second. Do you want anything from the kitchen? I’ll grab you a drink.” 

“Beer would be okay,” Terushima says after a beat. 

Tadashi smiles with a nod and starts to pull away, his own hands finding Kei’s as he forces him to follow. Kei hears a loud ‘tisk’ behind them and turns to see Terushima staring at him with his arms crossed. 

“Jealous much?” The shorter blonde man mouths at him before turning away and disappearing into the crowd. 

“Ten! Nine! Eight!” The crowd has started to cheer. 

“Tsukki, is something wrong?” Tadashi asks once they’ve reached the kitchen. The smaller man doesn’t even bother to glance at the numerous bottles lining the counter before rounding on the blonde. 

“I just thought it was strange how close you were letting that guy get to you, what with the circumstances.”

“I was just trying to be nice to one of Yachi’s friends. What’s so wrong with that?” 

“Seven! Six! Five!” 

“C’mon, Tadashi, don’t act like you didn’t know exactly what that guy was doing.”

“What are you implying?”

“Four! Three!”

“I’m not implying anything.”

“So then what are you saying?”

“Two! No - wait, go back, we started too early!”

“I’m just saying you probably shouldn’t be flirting with some guy while your _fiancé_ is laying in the hospital in a _coma!_ ” 

The room, which had gone significantly quieter when Yachi announced that they’d started the countdown wrong, goes silent - every head in the vicinity turning to stare at the two of them. Tadashi’s face immediately goes a violent shade of red, his eyes shining with shock as he refuses to look away from the blonde. 

“Two! One! Happy New Years!” the tv in the next room announces. Kei looks up, dumbfounded. By the time he’s refocusing on the space where Tadashi had been standing, the brunette is already gone. 

* * *

“Tadashi! Slow down!” 

Tadashi doesn’t slow down, Tsukki’s voice chasing after him as he power walks down the sidewalk towards the train station. 

“C’mon, I’m sorry, please. Talk to me.” Tadashi feels a hand touch his waist through his jacket but he shakes it off, the blonde having lost that privilege when he publicly called him a cheater twice within the same week. 

“Please, Tadashi -”

“Tsukki! Enough!” Tadashi finally turns long enough to knock the other man’s outstretched hand away from him before stomping into the train station. His hands are shaking and it takes him a few times to get his train pass to work but eventually he does and makes a beeline for his platform, not bothering to look back and see if Tsukki is still following. 

He thinks maybe he’s lost the other man until the doors of the train car he’s boarded close and he hears a voice behind him say, “seriously, Tadashi, can we talk about this?” He’s trapped until at least the next stop. He sighs. 

“What the hell was that back there?” He says finally, turning towards the distraught looking blonde. “I mean, I understood why you did all the stuff you did before we -” he gestures to the space between them, too angry to articulate what has changed between them the last few days - or at least what he thought had changed between them. “I understood when you didn’t know me and didn’t trust me and were looking out for your friend, but _now?_ What the hell did I do this time to deserve to be treated like - like - like some kind of _harlot_ in front of a room full of strangers?!” He’s breathing hard now, the other passengers in the train car giving him weary glances that he tries to ignore. 

“I wasn’t trying to treat you like a - a harlot, Tadashi, I -”

“I really thought things were different now. I thought we were getting _along._ I mean, I thought - I dunno, I thought you - we -”

“We are! I do! Tadashi, please, I -” the blonde’s voice is getting louder now too, the desperate look in his eye becoming more pronounced as he crowds into Tadashi’s space. 

“Then what the hell was that. What was that, Kei, hm? What. Was. That.” Tadashi punctuates each one of his words with a hard jab of his finger into Tsukki’s chest, though the other man seems to stumble more at the angry use of his first name. 

“It - it was that fucking Terushima guy! He was all over you!” Finally, the truth. Tadashi leans back a bit, letting his mind absorb the impact of Tsukki’s shouted confession. 

“We were just talking,” he says finally, blinking up at the blonde as he tries to reason out why something like that would make the other man this angry. 

“Oh please, you were this close to letting him kiss you at midnight,” Tsukki growls back, arms crossing in front of his chest as he shifts uncomfortably, eyes averting themselves to stare at the floor. 

“I wasn’t going to _let_ him do anything!”

“C’mon, Tadashi, you’re oblivious to the people around you, especially when it comes to the way they feel about you. That guy was hitting on you and, intentionally or not, you were letting him.” 

“All we were doing was talking!” 

“He was leaning!” 

“Leaning?” 

“Leaning.”

“What the hell does that even mean?” 

Tsukki squints at him for a moment before huffing a sigh and taking a step forward. “Leaning,” he says, with another step, officially starting to encroach on Tadashi’s personal space. “Leaning in. Getting closer.” He grabs hold of the pole Tadashi is holding onto, gripping it above Tadashi’s head as he slowly brings his face closer to the freckled man’s, his voice lowering with every centimeter lost between them. “Leaning involves wanting, accepting, the precursor to _touching_ ,” his eyes flicker down to Tadashi’s lips before rising again, half lidded, his golden irises now only rings around the black of his pupils, making Tadashi gulp. Suddenly, he’s trembling and hot for a whole new reason that has nothing to do with his earlier anger. “Leaning -”

“Oi, sweetheart, is this guy bothering you?” A drunken man shouts from the one of the open train car doors. Tadashi gasps for air, his system shocked by the sudden intrusion. He hadn’t even realized they’d stopped. In fact, he’d completely forgotten they were in public. 

“I’m fine,” he manages to croak out shakily, his hand tightening on the pole that is currently the only thing keeping him grounded to reality. 

“You sure? Looks like he’s, ya know, _leaning_.” 

Tsukki laughs quietly, straightening up to finally give Tadashi some space to breathe. “Thank you,” he says to the man, gesturing at Tadashi like he’s just proven a point. 

“I’ll be right over here if you need me,” the man shouts again, stumbling into one of the empty chairs at the opposite end of the car. 

“Okay, thank you very much,” Tadashi replies, trying to stay polite. 

“I know karate,” the guy says, pointing at Tsukki before turning to speak to the woman next to him, effectively ending the exchange. 

Tadashi can’t help but laugh, and once he starts it’s hard to stop. At some point Tsukki joins in, and before long they’re having to hang off of each other to keep from falling to the floor of the still moving train. 

“C’mon, let’s sit down,” Tsukki finally says, leading Tadashi to two open seats. Once situated, he turns to the brunette with a small smile. “I really am sorry,” he says quietly. 

“You’re such a jerk,” Tadashi says back, also smiling, though a little more tiredly. “Why are you so obsessed with catching me in the act?” 

“I’m not, I just…” Tsukki sighs and leans back against the dark window, eyes on the ceiling as he seems to gather his thoughts. “You just don’t seem like the kind of guy who Kageyama would go for.” 

“What does that mean?” Tadashi asks, trying not to feel offended. 

“No! Not like that - I just mean, he and Hinata have a really long history. I just - I think we always thought they were going to - I dunno, end up together I guess. But then Hinata moved to Brazil and I know Kageyama took it really hard and just - I’m just still surprised, I guess, at how fast you two got together. I didn’t really expect him to ever get over Hinata.”

“So what you’re saying is that the only way Tobio-kun would ever want me is if he couldn’t have Hinata, is that it?” Okay. Yeah. He’s offended now. Tsukki’s ability to make his mood swing like this is giving him whiplash. He wishes he was better at staying mad at the blonde. Right now, though, that isn’t an issue. 

“What? No! I -” Tsukki’s phone rings, sparing Tadashi whatever excuse he’d been about to deliver. He tries not to watch as the taller man fumbles with his phone before bringing it to his ear. 

“Hello? Hey, can I call you back, I’m in the middle of - wait, what? O-okay. Okay. No, I’m with him right now. Okay. We’ll be there. Fine. Bye.” 

Tadashi looks up at the blonde questioningly and is immediately alarmed at the expression etched on the other man’s face. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“He’s awake. Kageyama is awake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew !!!! he finally woke up!! get ready for the aftermath !!! >:^) thank u for reading as always !! i love u all !!!


	8. The Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, wonderful readers! so glad to have u all back after last night's weird Ao3 glitchyness!! i know i for one wasnt able to read my stories before bed like the little old lady i am and it was a real bummer lmao. but now we're back so yay ! also!! if ur interested in starting another ongoing tsukkiyama fic, StarMadeSahdows just started one titled Consellationem !! go check it out if u want some bitchy Kei and cute Tadashi!!! Okay, without further ado, here's chapter 8 :^)

“Tanaka-san,” Tadashi hisses at the older man, keeping an eye on the group of Kageyama’s other friends that are walking ahead of them. “ _Tanaka-san_!” 

“Shh!” Tanaka says, finally turning to look at him quickly before glancing around the hospital hallway. “Just keep cool, I’ll take care of things. Just don’t say anything yet.” He puts a bracing hand on Tadashi’s shoulder for a second, giving him a hard squeeze before letting go and jogging ahead. Tadashi is wobbly on his feet, though luckily no one seems to notice. Even Tsukki won’t look at him, the blonde having abandoned him as soon as they’d reached the hospital after hearing the news. 

_Oh God_ , he thinks as they approach the door. He’s the last one to enter the room, and when he does he sees Tanaka give him a thumbs up from behind Daichi’s back. The rest of the group has already crowded around the bed, making it so that Tadashi can’t even see the man occupying it. Suga ushers him forward after a minute, creating a space at the foot of the bed that he steps into as he hears Asahi say, “Kageyama? Can you hear me? It’s Asahi, I’m here with everyone. We came to visit you.” 

“I think…” Kageyama says quietly, his voice scratchy from disuse. “I think I might’ve bumped my head.” The room erupts with quiet, relieved laughter. 

“You’ve been in a coma, Kageyama. It’s New Years now. You’re okay, though, you’re doing fine. We’re glad you’re finally awake.” 

“Asahi,” Kageyama says, as though affirming that the older man is really there. Asahi nods, his eyes filling with tears. 

“Nishinoya,” Kageyama continues, nodding to the smaller man. 

“Hey, Kageyama,” he replies quietly. 

“Daichi.” 

“Good to have you back, Tobio.” 

“Suga.” 

“Hi, kiddo.” 

“Y - who are you?” 

Kageyama is looking directly at him. Tadashi stiffens. The rest of the group looks too. 

“You don’t recognize him, Kageyama?” Suga asks, his eyes narrowing. 

“No… Should I?” 

“He’s your fiancé, bud.”

“Fiancé?” 

“You don’t remember him?”

“I… I don’t think so. No.”

Silence. 

“Oh my God,” Nishinoya says finally, eyes wide as he covers his mouth with his hands, “Kageyama has amnesia!” 

* * *

“A, B, C, D, E, F, G…” Kageyama mutters to himself, his eyebrows pinched together seriously as he stares at the ceiling. If Kei wasn’t feeling so sick to his stomach he might’ve found the expression funny. 

“Selective amnesia is actually fairly common after a head injury like this,” the doctor is saying, his stethoscope out of place against the casual clothes he’s wearing. The hospital had called him in after Kageyama’s sudden revival and Kei can’t help but feel bad for the guy. Clearly he hadn’t been expecting to work tonight. 

“Libero, middle blocker, outside hitter, wing spiker, setter…”

“Most likely he’ll regain his memory after a bit of time and acclimation. His vitals and brainwaves all look good. I have very little doubt in my mind that Kageyama-san will be able to bounce back from this.” 

“Kageyama Tobio, birthday: December 22, 1996, height: 188.4 cm…”

“Just keep reminding him of who you all are and I’m sure it’ll come back to him. For now, though, I believe he’s had enough excitement for tonight. It would be best to let him get some rest.” 

Daichi steps up to shake the man’s hand as the two of them continue to talk quietly, the rest of the group taking that cue to begin milling around the hospital room, gathering their things. The only person who doesn’t seem to immediately jump into action is Tadashi, his face in the shadows as he hangs back near Kageyama’s bed, a haunted expression alight in those brown eyes that makes Kei’ chest constrict painfully. 

“I’m sorry, Yamaguchi-san, for not remembering you.” Kageyama says finally, ending his recitations to turn to the freckled man as one of the nurses begins helping him get ready for bed. 

“No, Kageyama-san, I’m the one who should be apologizing. If not for me… Well, I’m just glad you’re awake and alright.” Tadashi’s voice is so low that Kei has to strain to hear him, but he doesn’t have to work hard to see the silent tears threatening to spill over in the smaller man’s eyes. 

“Fiancé, right?” Kageyama catches Tadashi’s hand when he tries to walk away, holding it in his lap as he inspects the soft skin there, a finger coming out to trace one of the veins. “I wish I could remember.” The words are spoken softly, seriously, almost more to himself than to the other man. Tadashi kindly smiles back anyway. 

“It’s okay, we’ll figure it out. Try to get some rest now. It’s really late.” That seems to be all the goodbyes they’re going to say and Kei tries not to look too obvious as he shuffles his feet near the door, waiting for Tadashi to get within reach so that he can pull him out of this godforsaken room. Something about the hunched line of Tadashi’s shoulders makes the smaller man look like he’s on the verge of breaking down and for that reason, and probably a few selfish others, Kei wants nothing more than to get Tadashi as far away from Kageyama as he can right now. 

Tadashi stops for a moment and puts his hand back in Kageyama’s, squeezing it with a tight smile that Kageyama returns in his own way before finally separating and making his way to the door. Something about that final unspoken show of support makes Kei’s chest squeeze. He puts his hand out in some vague gesture of guidance, leading Tadashi out the door by pressing his fingertips every so lightly to the smaller man’s back. He takes one last look at Kageyama, who is giving him an unreadable look. Fucking bastard. What kind of entitled asshole just forgets being engaged to someone like Tadashi. 

“I’ll take you home,” he whispers quietly, walking behind Tadashi to keep an eye on him. The smaller man nods minutely, his eyes unseeing as he leads them through the hospital. Kei doesn’t have a car so they have to take the train together, but Tadashi doesn’t say anything about the blonde going so out of his way just to see him home. Instead, he sits silently next to Kei as the train rattles them across the city, his brown eyes fixed on the dark windows across from them where Kei can see their reflections staring back at them, hazy versions of themselves sitting together in the night sky. Tadashi’s crying. He doesn’t know what to say. 

“After this… Things are going to be different.” Tadashi’s voice is so quiet that Kei almost misses it, the words nearly drowned out by the rumble of the train. “I just… I just wanted to say you’ve been a really good friend.” 

“Friend,” Kei parrots, the word all wrong in his mouth. “Nothing has to change if we’re friends.”

Tadashi gives him a pained look and, fuck, this is gut wrenching. To have Tadashi finally acknowledging what’s been happening between them like _this_ … To finally have his feelings laid out on the table only to be rejected before he’s even had his shot at a place in the sun is just… too awful. Too agonizing. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. 

“Okay, Tsukki,” Tadashi says finally, and Kei knows he’s probably on the verge of tears now too. He knows he must look desperate, but he doesn’t care. He tries to reach for the smaller man’s hand, but Tadashi pulls away. 

“I was wrong, you and Kageyama are going to make a - a terrific couple. Really. I’m sorry, I was wrong.” Kei is grasping at straws now, searching for anything that will right this situation, that will help Tadashi not to cry. Tadashi smiles at him sadly, letting him know he’s failed. 

“Thanks, Tsukki, but you were right. It’ll all be over soon.” 

“Don’t say that.” 

They sit in silence for the next few stops, Kei wracking his mind for ways to fix this while Tadashi closes his eyes. When they’re finally nearing the brunette’s stop he opens them and gives Kei a searching look. 

“If you were me, what would you do?”

Kei feels his jaw clench, the simple question far too complicated to answer in the amount of time they have left together. He opens his mouth a few times, trying to find the right words to say. Tadashi stands up as the train begins to slow, standing over Kei with a sorry expression as he gives the blonde a last, sweet smile. “What would you do?”

“I… I’d marry Kageyama.” 

He thinks it’s the answer the other man wants to hear, but Tadashi’s expression doesn’t ease at all. He simply nods once before giving a slight bow and walking off the train car. The doors close behind him and the train starts to move again before Kei realizes he’s just missed his final chance. 

He rides the train for a few more stops before eventually getting up and mindlessly stumbling out onto the cold platform to catch the train going in the opposite direction. He considers getting off at Tadashi’s stop but ultimately decides against it, a sickening feeling in his stomach slowly growing as he approaches where he’d first boarded - the stop near the hospital. It takes very little consideration for Kei to decide that he needs to talk to Kageyama. _Now._

“Sir, visiting hours are closed.”

“I don’t care.”

“Sir! You can’t go in there!”

“Get out of my way.” 

“Sir, the patient is sleeping!”

“He’s been asleep for a _week!_ I need to fucking talk to him _right now_!” 

“Tsukishima?” Kageyama is in the hallway in his hospital pajamas with his IV pole in one hand, the wheels squeaking as they drag across the polished floor. 

“I need to talk to you.”

“Sir-”

“Nurse, please give us a minute.” The setter nods politely at the angry woman to show his thanks when she huffs a frustrated sigh and throws her hands in the air. Kei steps around her quickly, Kageyama ushering him into his room before the tiny nurse has a chance to change her mind. Once inside, Kageyama situates himself on the bed once again, folding his hands in his lap as he patiently watches Kei begin to pace. 

“Were you really sleeping?” Kei asks after a minute, needing some way to break the silence. 

“No. As you said, I’ve been asleep for a week.” 

“Good. That’s good.” Another awkward lull halts the conversation, helping only to increase Kei’s restlessness as he watches Kageyama watch him from the bed. 

“So you don’t remember Tadashi.” It’s not a question, but Kageyama still nods. “He’s your fiancé,” Kei says, as though that needs to be explained again. As if saying it again will somehow make the other man aware of his impertinence for having forgotten. 

“Apparently. I don’t remember,” is all Kageyama has to say for himself, his cool demeanor beginning to crack as the annoyed twitch in his eyebrow becomes more pronounced. Kei knows that look. He and Kageyama don’t have a great track record of getting along. He needs to say what he came here to say before the situation gets out of his control. 

“Yamaguchi Tadashi is - is -” Kei can’t seem to catch his breath. “He’s the _best_ fucking thing that could’ve happened to you.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“He’s sweet and he’s nice and he’s way too forgiving and he has no - he has _no_ concept of just how - how _cute_ he can be and he lets his guard down way too easily but that’s okay because he makes you want to take care of him and he - he’s so fucking funny and secretly really snarky and bitchy in the best way and - and - and _fuck you_ if you don’t remember that.” 

“What?” 

“He’s in love with you.” The words feel like they’re being ripped from Kei but he grinds his teeth and says them anyway, needing the man in front of him to understand that he _owes_ Tadashi. That he _has_ to love him back. That it’s the only way to make any of this right, the only way to make Tadashi smile again. “He’s in love with you and you love him. You’re engaged. You’re going to get married. You’re going to live long, happy lives together because that’s what Tadashi _deserves._ Do you understand?” 

“I hardly know him.” Kageyama is giving him a strange look now, and Kei can’t help but thank God for the fact that the other man has always been somewhat of a simpleton. Thank fuck he can’t read Kei the way Tadashi can. 

“You’ll get to know him. And when you do, you’ll remember - or at the very least you’ll do it all over again. Fall for him, fall in love, whatever. Everyone loves him. Everyone. He’s so much more than you deserve but you’re gonna work fucking hard to deserve him because that’s what he wants. Right now he thinks it's over. You need to make sure it’s not.”   
  
“Why are you saying all of this to me? Why does it matter?” 

“Because you’d be a fucking idiot to let something like this slip through your fingers,” Kei feels like he’s on the verge of an explosion, the walls that he’s built in his mind collapsing in on themselves as he rips himself open to say all of this, to pave the path to a happy future for Tadashi even if it won’t include him. 

“Okay,” Kageyama says in response to all of that, because of course that would be his reaction. 

“Okay?” Kei repeats, needing to hear it again, needing to come to terms with the simplicity with which the other man has agreed to accept everything Kei has ever wanted like it’s owed to him. 

“Yeah. Okay. I’ll talk to him at least. I can’t make any promises, but I can talk to him.” 

“Okay.” Kei stumbles into one of the chairs in the room, putting his head in his hands for a minute as he catches his breath. Somehow, that had been too easy. Somehow, he’d hoped for more of a fight. “Just talk to him for fifteen - no, ten minutes and I promise you… I promise you’ll realize it too.” 

“Hmm,” is all Kageyama says in return, the setter leaning back in his bed to bring a box of milk to his lips as he seems to contemplate the ruins of Kei’s psyche that lay strewn across the space between them. Kei knows how much of a mess he must seem to be to the other man. He knows he’s crossed a line. He can’t help it though. This needed to be said while he still had the nerve. 

“Tsukishima,” Kageyama says after a while, crushing his empty milk carton and tossing it to the side, “I don’t really get what’s happening here, but you should probably go now. That troublesome nurse is going to come kick you out if you don’t.” 

“...Yeah, alright.” Kei gets up and gathers his things slowly, exhaustion settling into his bones as he drags his feet across the floor. “Try to get some rest, King-sama.” 

“Tsukishima…”

“Hm?” 

Kageyama gives him a searching look, some flicker of emotion in those usually passionless blue eyes making the blonde tense. “How’s Hinata?” he says finally, and Kei feels his face fall. He tries to hide his expression in the shadows, pushing his glasses up to mask his guilt. 

“He’s fine. I’m taking care of him. Goodnight, King-sama.” With that, he takes his leave. He doesn’t bother looking back to see if Kageyama understands his meaning; he knows if he does he’ll lose his nerve. Kei is a selfish person, and if for now his selfishness means getting Hinata hurt, then so be it. He’ll just have to live with himself, the same as always. At least he won’t be alone. 

* * *

“Pick. Up. The. Damn. Phone,” Tadashi whispers to himself as he jabs at the keypad of his cellphone. It’s the next day and he’s been trying to contact Tanaka for the last half hour, panic building in his chest each time his texts go unanswered and his calls go to voicemail. He tries again, bringing the phone to his ear as he hears the other end begin to ring. Once, twice, three times…

“Hello?” 

“Tanaka-san!”  
  
“Oh hey, Yams! Give me a sec - I gotta - Yeah man! Good work today! See you next week! - hey, sorry dude, I’ve been at the gym. I’ve been teaching a class for a bunch of old dudes which, like, not really my thing but Kiyoko’s dad asked me to and let me tell ya, that dude is scary. But also kinda beautiful? I dunno, man, sometimes I think - ”

“Tanaka-san! Please!” 

“Huh? Oh, yeah, give me a sec. I’m gonna go get in my car. Hold up.” Tadashi listens to the sounds of Tanaka walking for a moment, the swish of his jacket and the beep of a car unlocking loud in his ear as he taps his foot impatiently against the side of his desk, trying not to lose his cool as his internal freak out continues to rage within him. “Okay, good to go. What’s up, Yams?” 

“Kageyama is awake. We need to fix this _immediately_ before I actually lose my _fucking mind_ , Tanaka-san - that’s _what’s up_.” 

“Whoa, whoa, okay, calm down. First of all, take a breath. Second of all, I told you I was handling it.”   
  
“In what way was letting everyone, including the _doctors_ , think that Kageyama has _amnesia_ yesterday _handling it?!_ ” 

“Whoa, whoa, little man! Calm down!” Tadashi grits his teeth, trying to ignore the way Tanaka is so clearly holding back laughter. “Seriously,” the older man says after a minute, his voice finally beginning to regain some seriousness, “I’m handling it. Just trust me. Yesterday wasn’t a good time.”   
  
“Tanaka-san, you’re fired. I’m telling everyone today.”   
  
“Whoa, wait! Hold up! Okay! Sheesh, now I’m starting to get why you get along so well with Tsukishima. Don’t tell everyone yet, first let’s talk to Kageyama. He has the right to know before everyone else does, right? Meet me there in an hour. You free?” 

Tadashi bites his lip, trying not to react to the mention of the blonde’s name. He nods a few times before realizing Tanaka can’t see him. “Yes, I’m free. I’ll see you at the hospital in an hour.”

“Okay, cool. See you then.” They hang up. Tadashi stands on shaking legs to cross the room towards his bed, flopping down on the mattress face first as he tries to regain his earlier momentum. He’s going to need some amount of conviction if he’s going to go through with this. Tanaka’s right though, Kageyama should hear it first. More than that, Tadashi owes him the first apology. If he’s going to make this right, he needs to start with the source. Maybe Kageyama will even be able to find it within himself to show some sort of mercy, but for that Tadashi can only pray. 

* * *

“Kageyamaaa, what’s going on, bro?” Tanaka is as happy go lucky as ever, bursting into the pro setter’s hospital room like it’s their own private hang out, leaving Tadashi to follow in his wake. “Hey, check it out, man. Look who I brought.” He jerks his thumb at Tadashi, whose eyes go wide before he gives a small bow. 

“It’s good to see you looking so healthy, Kageyama-san,” he says quietly, trying as best he can to meet the other man’s gaze. Kageyama’s eyes seem to widen a fraction before he’s bowing back subtly from his place on the bed. 

“There’s no need to be so formal, Tadashi-san - is it okay if I call you that?” 

“Y-yes, of course,” Tadashi stutters in answer, finding a seat when Kageyama gestures to the chairs around his bed. 

“I think I might go get some coffee, Yamaguchi…?” Tanaka gives Tadashi a questioning gaze and he can’t help the annoyed twitch of his jaw as he realizes the other man is trying to run away. He nods anyway though, because really it’s fine - this is his punishment, after all. “Okay, cool. Kageyama, coffee?” Kageyama shakes his head. “Arighty. And, uh, Kageyama. I want you to listen to Yamaguchi, okay? Just hear him out and when I come back I can answer any questions you’ve got. Yamaguchi’s a good guy, and I promise that everything he says is true.” He gives the confused looking patient a thumbs up, a look of relief on his grinning face as though that cryptic order has cleared anything up. Tadashi internally groans. “Okay, be right back!” and with that Tanaka is gone, leaving the two of them alone together for the very first time. 

“Tanaka-san has never had much of a talent for making sense,” Kageyama says after a minute, his voice contemplative, “but that was kind of exceptionally bad.” Tadashi can’t help the tiny laugh that escapes him, and then can’t help but choke when he catches sight of the pleased look that's settled on Kageyama’s features. “You know, there is something really familiar about you, like you remind me of someone.” He stares hard at Tadashi, making the freckled man’s face heat up. “It’s probably you,” he says finally, bringing a hand to his chin as he seems to think hard at his own words. 

“I - It might be, because we do know each other, Kageyama-san, but not in the way you’re thinking.”   
  
“I already said you don’t have to be so formal - ”

“I do. I - I mean, yes, I should be.” Tadashi tries not to cower under the weight of Kageyama’s questioning gaze. He steels himself, trying to gather his strength. _Now or never_ , he thinks, raising his chin. “Kageyama-san, I am not your fiancé.” 

The two men stare at each other as they each process the words, the truth of them seeming to hang in the air around them. 

“Okay…” Kageyama starts to say slowly, but Tadashi interrupts him. 

“Please, let me explain.” He takes a deep breath. “We met once on the train, the 11:00 a.m. from Q station. I ran into you and you helped me up.”   
  
“Oh, yeah…” 

“The truth is, I had noticed you long before then. I have been a fan of yours since you started playing professionally. I never meant to actually speak to you, that day was a genuine mistake, but you were very kind and I - I developed feelings for you.” He looks up, taking in the way Kageyama’s eyes have gone wide and realizes how that must have sounded. “Not - not that I’m some crazy stalker! I really never meant to talk to you! I was just admiring from afar but - ! But, after that, I became conscious of you whenever we were on the platform together. A - a week ago you fell on the tracks. I just happened to be there and - and despite being a coward, because it was you, I jumped down to help you. I didn’t mean to - I mean, I didn’t think we’d end up here, I - ”

“Thank you for rescuing me, Yamaguchi-san,” Kageyama says quietly, and when Tadashi looks up the other man has his hand outstretched, asking for Tadashi to come closer. He does, perching on the edge of the bed near Kageyama’s knees as the other man very gently takes his hand, giving it a firm squeeze as he nods for him to continue. Tadashi has to fight back the tears he can feel pressing behind his eyes. 

“When we got to the hospital, you were still unconscious. I was just trying to make sure you were okay. Somehow, a nurse got the wrong idea and before I knew it she was telling all of your friends that I was your fiancé. I - I didn’t mean for it to happen, I wanted to set the record straight but I was scared and - and before I knew it everything was so chaotic and your manager was here and they were all looking to me to stop him from transferring you to some hospital in Osaka and I - I - ”

“Fujita-san is a formidable man,” Kageyama says, giving Tadashi the chance he needs to catch his breath and regain his composure. “He comes from a family of influence, both in the athletics world and outside of it. Because of that, he’s always pushing his athletes to their limit to prove to his family that the path he’s chosen was worthwhile. A few months ago I found out he’s been doping the people he manages. We think some blackmailing might’ve been involved. Apparently, he’s had a big hand in the manufacturing and distribution of steroids, especially for the Olympics. He was going to try to force me into it too.”   
  
Tadashi nods. “Tanaka-san found out about my situation. He told me your manager was bad news and asked me to play along until you woke up, that if I did I’d be doing you a favor. I - I thought it wouldn’t be a big deal. I thought I’d be s-somehow making amends for being too cowardly to correct everyone when the misunderstanding first started, but…” The tears are free flowing down his face now, and Kageyama lets go of his hand to rub at his back gently. 

“Tanaka was right, you have helped me. Without you, I have no idea what state I would’ve woken up in.” 

“I - I’m glad, but I’m afraid I’ve still hurt everyone you care about. I got too close. I didn’t - I didn’t realize how much I was going to love your friends. How much I’ve missed having a family. I… God, Kageyama-san, I’m so fucking _sorry_.” He presses the heels of his hands against his eyes, trying to will the tears away, not wanting to be given any kind of leniency for being a crybaby. 

“I have heard about how well loved you are by my old schoolmates. It sounds like you fit right in.” Kageyama’s hand withdraws from Tadashi’s back to find one of his wrists, tugging lightly before tucking some of the wet hair that’s become plastered to his face with tears behind his ear. His blue eyes are almost unreadable despite their kindness, but Tadashi can still tell that he’s being shown an incredible amount of tolerance. He knows he doesn’t deserve it. “I’ve been told that you’re more than I deserve. That I’d have to be an idiot to let you slip through my fingers.” Tadashi gapes, searching the other man’s face as he processes what he’s just said. 

“Who said that? Tanaka-san?” 

Kageyama just shakes his head, his fingers carding through Tadashi’s hair once more as he seems to search the freckled man’s face right back. 

“W-whoever said that is mistaken. You don’t - I mean, you shouldn’t - ”

“Maybe I should. Maybe they’re right. My friends all love you, why shouldn’t I? Why shouldn’t I marry you? Why not try to do all of this for real?”

“Kageyama-san…” 

“You don’t have to be so formal, Tadashi-san. Not if we’re going to stay engaged.” They stare at each other for another minute. 

“I can’t - I can’t -” Tadashi tries to say weakly, but Kageyama cuts him off. 

“Why not? Why shouldn’t I marry you?” The stubbornness that makes Kageyama a god on the volleyball court seems to be working against Tadashi now. He tries to find his next words carefully. 

“I’m not the one you want to be asking to marry you,” he says quietly. 

“Why?” 

Tadashi reaches out to hold Kageyama’s hand, which is still in his hair, against his cheek, feeling the warmth and roughness there and the way that it just simply doesn’t fit. He tries to smile. “Hinata,” he says quietly, and watches as the other man’s face transforms under the influence of that one single word. _There it is_ , he thinks, _that’s what that’s supposed to look like._ Kageyama drops his touch and his gaze, the sheets covering his legs rumpling as he leans forward slightly, his hands forming fists until the knuckles are white. 

“You really did make the most of this last week, Yamaguchi-san. It seems you know everything about me.” 

“I’m _so sorry_ , Kageyama-san.” A moment of silence passes between them. 

“I’m not sure I can ask that of Hinata, after everything that’s happened. I’m afraid I might’ve missed my chance when I didn’t ask him to stay.” He says the words so quietly that Tadashi has to strain to hear them, despite their closeness. 

“Truthfully, Kageyama-san, I don’t know much about your history with Hinata-san, but I do know that he still loves you. A lot. Maybe more than anyone. I know he would say yes if you asked.” 

Kageyama glances up at him, a haunted look in his eyes as he takes in the freckled man’s strained smile. 

“This last week has been the hardest on him. I’d really hate it if all of this led to even more unhappiness between the two of you. You deserve to be happy, Kageyama-san. Hinata, too. You deserve to be happy together, after all of this. That train almost hit you, and this coma has been long. It isn’t everyday that you get a second chance at life, right? Why not take the leap?” 

Kageyama stares at him for a second longer before roughly rubbing at his own face. When he’s done, his hand finds Tadashi’s once more. “Will you help me?” he says, the question quiet but hopeful. “Will you help me leap?” 

“Of course,” Tadashi says, and, for the first time in a while, he smiles a real smile. “I owe you that much, at least. Here, let me get a pad and pencil from my bag. Let’s start coming up with ideas.” Kageyama laughs shakily, making room for Tadashi on the bed as the two of them begin to brainstorm. Things aren’t magically better now just because he’s confessed, Tadashi knows that, but this is a good first step. He’ll work hard to make things right and earn Kageyama’s forgiveness. For the first time in a while, doing what he thinks he has to has Tadashi feeling at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama platonically being very sweet to yams is my guilty pleasure. Yams deserves to have the whole world love him :") F in the chat if u agree


	9. The Question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing this chapter was v satisfying :^) hope yall enjoy !!  
> Edit: to all Americans reading tonight, hope ur all taking care of yourselves and staying safe if you’re near the riots. I know I’m glued to my tv rn, but remember that everything that’s happening is traumatic and if you need a break feel free to use this silly fic for that. Love you all 💓 please take care of yourselves

From: Daichi  
Tobio is being discharged tmrw. He & Yamaguchi want  
2 have a family meeting. Make sure 2be at the apt around 1pm.   
Suga will make late lunch for everyone. C u then.

Kei stares at the text message. Half of him wants to call Daichi immediately and tell him off for texting like a 45 year old father of six. The other half wants to take Kei’s own body and throw it into the nearest river. He doesn’t want to be at that meeting. He doesn’t want to have to sit through a whole lunch of Kageyama and Tadashi renewing their vow to be together. He doesn’t need to be there to know that they still intend to go through with the marriage, whether Kageyama remembers him or not. He doesn’t need that kind of salt rubbed in the wound. On the other hand… He can only imagine Tadashi’s disappointment if Kei really didn’t show up. It doesn’t help that the whole thing is being held at his own apartment and that, ultimately, this is  _ all his fault _ . 

He groans, pulling his hood up as he continues to make his way down the sidewalk. He’s glad he already has plans to meet a few of his college buddies at the gym to play some volleyball. He needs some excuse to blow off steam. 

* * *

“I thought you said Suga was going to cook,” Kei says, poking the soggy looking burger in front of him. It’s still partially in its original wrapping, the thin paper nearly soaked through with grease. 

“Sorry! Three of my students failed my last exam and I had to have a surprise meeting with the dean about it. Super scary. It’s all good, though! But yeah, didn’t have time to pick up the ingredients for hotpot so we’re having this instead.”

Kei tries not to watch as Tadashi reaches for one of the bigger containers of fries, the freckled man seeming to search through it diligently before pulling out a few and placing them on the plate in front of him. He discards the crispier looking fries, putting them on a napkin between him and Kageyama that the pro setter helps himself to mindlessly, opting instead to take the floppier fries for himself. Before long, he has nearly the whole thing sorted, with Kageyama wordlessly munching on the crunchiest of the bunch while Tadashi slowly savors the softer looking ones that he’s hoarded on his plate.  _ Holy fuck, why does he have to be so cute _ . Kei wants to crawl under the table and disappear or spontaneously combust or do anything other than feel the way he does right now, envy hot in his veins as he forces himself to look away from the domestic little scene. He shouldn’t have come to this stupid meeting, after all. This was a huge fucking mistake. 

“Okay, everyone settled?” Daichi asks, clapping his hands together to get everyone’s attention. He looks around the table once, then nods. “Kageyama, Yamaguchi-san, you’ve got the floor.” 

Kageyama stands awkwardly, his face strangely impassive as he looks to Tadashi before opening his mouth. “Okay, first, let’s all just agree that we like Yamaguchi.” 

“Kageyama-san!” Tadashi hisses, “that wasn’t in the script!” Kageyama just shrugs before sitting back down. 

“Of course we all like Yamaguchi!” Nishinoya shouts in answer, “but Kageyama, shouldn’t you be saying you  _ love _ your fiancé? Don’t be shy!” 

Kei feels miserable. He shrinks further back into his seat, catching the eye of the redhead sitting across from him. Hinata looks just as bad as he feels, deep bags under his eyes as he flinches away from Kei’s gaze. He hasn’t taken a bite of his food yet, the burger that Kei knows is one of his favorites still sitting untouched in front of him on his plate. 

“A-about that,” Tadashi starts to say, stumbling a little as he tries to stand up. Kageyama catches his hand, steadying him. They exchange a warm glance that Kei immediately wishes he hadn’t seen. “Kageyama-san and I have something to tell all of you.” 

“Don’t be so formal, Yamaguchi! What happened to  _ Tobio-kun,”  _ Nishinoya cackles but Daichi cuts him off. 

“Noya, let them finish.” 

Tadashi tries to smile at the two of them but his expression is tight, his fingers finding their way to the collar of his sweater, beginning to wind tightly into the fabric there in that anxious way that Kei has come to appreciate because it’s so easy to read. He glances at Kageyama, who is watching the freckled man but making no move to stop his hand. If Tadashi were his, he would’ve already started to soothe him. If Tadashi were his, he would always know what to do when that hand met his collar. If Tadashi were his… Kei forces himself to look away. “Right, er, actually… Nishinoya-san is right,” Tadashi starts to say, thankfully breaking Kei’s depressing line of thought. “I am being more formal because - because Kageyama-san and I are no longer engaged.” 

Silence. Kageyama starts to try to stand but Tadashi puts a hand on his shoulder, keeping him in his chair. 

“We never were. We were never engaged.” 

More silence. 

“I recognized Kageyama-san on the train platform months ago. That day when he fell, I did jump down to help him. A nurse at the hospital mistook me for his fiancé and let me into his room to see him. I didn’t know she’d made that assumption until she was misrepresenting our relationship to all of you. I know I should have… I should’ve corrected her right away, but I was so overwhelmed. Everything was happening so fast and there were so many of you and then Kageyama’s manager showed up and - and -”

“Yams has really helped us out with Fujita-san.” It’s Tanaka speaking now, the older man shrugging when everyone’s heads snap to stare at him. “Yeah, okay, I found out about what happened and asked him to continue playing along until Kageyama woke up. My bad. But still, you all know Fujita, you know what a demon he can be. We’ve all seen how his style of ‘managing’ has affected Kageyama over the years. Someone needed to do something, and Yamaguchi was in the perfect position to be that someone. Thanks to him, Kageyama is officially out from under that dangerous guy’s thumb as of earlier today.” He gives a thumbs up to the crowd despite his somber expression. That doesn’t stop Kiyoko from slapping him upside the head. 

“You should’ve told me,” she says quietly, but Kei can tell she’s actually hurt. Tanaka’s facade of nonchalance crumbles as he turns towards his wife. 

“I know, honey, I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to get you involved.” 

“You didn’t hesitate to get Yamaguchi involved.”

“This is in no way Tanaka-san’s fault. He came to me with a request and I agreed to it. He didn’t force me to say yes. I did that of my own volition because I - I thought it was the right thing to do at the time. I didn’t - ” Tadashi visibly swallows, eyes shining as he holds back tears. “I fell in love with all of you. With the family that you have here. With how much you all love each other. With - ” His gaze strays to Kei for a second before he’s snapping his eyes down, his hand clenching in his sweater. 

“That’s it. Yamaguchi helped me out and had to tell a few lies to do it. I’m sorry if that makes any of you uncomfortable, but ultimately I’m grateful to him,” Kageyama says, finally standing up too. He puts a hand on Tadashi’s back, and from the movement of his arm Kei thinks he might be rubbing small circles against the cable knit. The blonde swallows. It’s a strangely close gesture for someone as standoffish as the setter, an even stranger touch to happen between two people who are supposedly not engaged. “So we’re not getting married,” he continues, which prompts the other man to finally look up. Tadashi looks suddenly more determined. He reaches for something in his back pocket. “Weirdly enough, though, the two of us get along pretty well.” Kei’s heart stops. “So he’s been helping me figure some stuff out.” 

The black haired man brings his arms to his sides, his fists clenching and shoulders climbing up to his ears as he seems to gather his courage. Tadashi holds something out to him - a small note card that looks like it’s been scribbled all over in someone’s scrawled handwriting. The freckled man nods, putting a bracing hand on the other man’s arm. 

“Hinata-boke!” Kageyama suddenly shouts, shocking the entire room, including Tadashi. He’s got that screwed up, petulant look on his face that he only gets around Hinata, the one that makes him look like he’s fifteen again. Hinata looks up with wide eyes, his expression also reminiscent of the one he used to wear back when they were all on a team together and Kageyama used to yell at him every time he missed a spike. Kei would almost laugh if this situation wasn’t so tense. Tadashi seems to be scrambling at Kageyama’s side, flipping through a whole stack of notecards that Kei hadn’t realized he’d been holding. 

“I love you, idiot!” Kageyama yells, voice so loud that it seems to send a tremor through the people sitting around the table - although, maybe that was just the words themselves. Their meaning seems to sink in slowly, but once it does another round of shocked expressions makes its way around the room. “I’ve always loved you, dumbass! Since we were teenagers! I’m sorry if I’ve caused you trouble! I’m sorry if the last few years have been hard!” 

“Kageyama-san, you’re skipping around too much!” Tadashi hisses, trying to press a new notecard into Kageyama’s chest but the setter ignores him, clearly on a roll. 

“I love you and I’m sorry, Hinata! If you can forgive me, please agree to marry me! I want us to spend the rest of our lives playing volleyball! Together! As husbands!” Kageyama bows so deeply and so abruptly that his forehead thunks against the table. The deafening silence that envelops them in the aftermath of his request is broken only momentarily by Tadashi’s soft sigh. 

It’s quiet. It feels like they sit there for hours, with Kageyama bent at a rigid 90 degree angle and the rest of the room staring at the top of his head. Finally, there’s a sharp intake of breath from where Hinata is sitting. Kei looks over. The redhead is crying. 

“Bakayama you s-stupid fucking j-jerk,” the tiny man starts to say with a sob, making Kageyama look up, his expression terrified but hopeful despite the tears streaming down his face too. “O-of course I’ll marry you, you asshole.” 

The room erupts in sound. Questions like ‘what do you mean it was all fake?!’ and ‘wait who is Fujita again?’ And ‘can I be your best man?’ swirling around the room, but all Kei can see is the small smile on Tadashi’s face. It’s not sad, but it’s not happy either. The freckled man seems to go unseen by the rest of the room as he gathers his things and makes his way toward the door. It had all been a lie. They’re not getting married. The weight of those two truths keep Kei pinned to his chair. It’s not until the door has closed behind the freckled man that he fully realizes what he’s just learned.  _ They’re not getting married. It was just a lie.  _

He tries to get up, tries to follow, but he’s stopped in his tracks by a celebratory Hinata who throws himself into the blonde’s arm, rubbing his tear and snot covered face into the taller man’s chest. 

“Oh, gross -”

“Did you hear that, Saltyshima? I’m getting married.” He smiles up Kei, his expression blissfully happy, all of his worry lines gone despite the persistent smudges still under his eyes. Kei is sure that, after a few days of being engaged to his soulmate, those will be gone soon too. 

“Congratulations, Hinata. I’m really happy for you.” 

“Tobio is such a fucking idiot. I never thought I’d say this, but thank God for Yamaguchi.” 

“Yeah, thank God,” Kei parrots, the words like lead in his mouth. Hinata seems to take that moment to become aware of the tension in Kei’s voice and glances around them, quickly unlatching himself from Kei’s shoulders.

“Where is Yamaguchi?” 

Kei hears the pop of a champagne bottle opening from somewhere behind him and brings a hand up to rub at his eyes. “I think he left,” he says. 

“What was it you said to me the other night? ‘He’s so much more than you deserve so you better work hard to deserve him. Right now he thinks it's over. You need to make sure it’s not.’ Something like that?” Kageyama’s voice sneaks up on both of them, the setter coming up behind his fiancé to wrap both of his arms around Hinata’s waist as he leans down to rest his chin on one of the redhead’s shoulders. He smiles up at Kei with that scary, toothy grin of his. “About time you had to follow one of your own orders for once, don’t you think?” 

“Whoa you really said that about Yamaguchi? To Kageyama? Geez, Saltyshima, you masochist.” 

Kei feels something within him snap. As much as he hates to admit it, Kageyama is right. He can’t let it end like this. He can’t not fight for the man he loves. 

“Get going,” Hinata says kindly, his eyes soft as he gives Kei a smile. “Go bring him back and let’s all get drunk together. We can’t celebrate properly without the whole family.” 

“Even after everything? Even after what he did?” Kei can’t help but ask, needing to know that if he does bring Tadashi back there will be forgiveness waiting for him in this room. 

“All families have their messy moments,” he hears Noya say and turns to his right to see him and Asahi holding his jacket out to him. 

“He was doing what he thought was right,” Daichi says from his left, the man’s large hand coming up to squeeze Kei’s shoulder. Kei realizes his own hands are trembling when Suga starts to gently help him into his jacket. 

“If anyone deserves any blame it’s me,” Tanaka says from somewhere near the doorway, and Kei realizes he and Kiyoko are holding it open for him.

“Yamaguchi is family. You deserve to be happy, Kei. Go get him and bring him back, okay?” 

Kei looks down at Hinata’s smiling face. The acceptance he finds there is more than enough. He gives a final nod and rushes out the door. 

He runs around the block calling Tadashi’s name several times, but the freckled man is already gone. He jogs to the coffee shop but doesn’t recognize either of the workers behind the counter. He catches the train to Tadashi’s place but no one answers the doorbell. He tries for hours, texting, calling, trying to find his window, but to no avail. Eventually, his phone dies and he’s forced to make his way back home. 

They’re all still there when he arrives, but seem to know upon his solitary entrance not to ask where Tadashi is. The room goes silent for a minute, Kei standing in the doorway, still in his jacket, chest heaving, as he tries to map out his next strategy. 

“Guys,” he says finally, “I think I need your help.” 

* * *

It’s been a week. Tadashi is doing better. 

He’d spent the night at Yachi’s place after his big confession and she’d helped him through the initial grief of it all. They’d turned off their phones and turned on a marathon of trashy movies and gotten drunk and eaten an ungodly amount of carbs. Yachi held him as he cried. They’re well and truly friends now. 

The next morning, she’d helped him delete all the unheard voicemails from Tsukki, the contents of which he couldn’t bring himself to listen to. She’d helped him ignore the numerous texts asking for him to call. She’d sat him in front of her laptop and pulled up a list of grad schools and helped him begin the process of his applications. It had felt like the first real steps forward towards being a better version of himself. Despite everything, it had felt good. 

Now he’s at work, making a latte, humming a tune. Things are okay. He’s okay. He’d be lying if he said he was always like this, especially when his mind decides to remind him of the betrayed look Tsukki had given him when he’d left the apartment that day, but he’s okay enough of the time for him to know that, eventually, he’ll actually be okay for the rest of it. Someday. 

“Yamaguchi-kun,” Yachi’s voice breaks his reverie, making Tadashi turn to her. “Do you mind taking the next customer? I need to clean this thing out. It’s getting all crusty again.” She points at one of the shakers. He nods, turning around to begin taking the next order. 

“Can I have a large black coffee?” Tadashi freezes, his eyes fixed on the register as he realizes who is standing in front of him. It takes all of his strength to look up. 

Tsukki. Tsukki is standing right there. He’s tall and blonde and gorgeous, just like he is in Tadashi’s memories. His porcelain skin tinges pink as he seems to drink the image of Tadashi in, liquid gold eyes tracing Tadashi’s face just like they do in his dreams. He swallows hard. 

“Hi, Tadashi,” Tsukki says, his voice warm. 

“Hey, Tsukki,” Tadashi whispers dumbly in response. 

“You doing okay?”

“I - yeah, um…” God. How had he ever tricked himself into thinking he was actually okay. Tadashi is on the verge of a small mental breakdown. Maybe he should just start apologizing again...

“You know, I really wish you hadn’t run out like that the last time, but maybe it was for the best. It gave me the chance to get my thoughts straight, you know? And now - now I’ve got a question for you, if that’s okay. Can I ask you something, Tadashi?” 

Tadashi swallows hard.  _ Here it comes,  _ he thinks, before nodding. 

“You remember that summer together as kids?” Tsukki asks, a small smile gracing his features. “You were my best friend, back then. I don’t think I ever said that, but you were. I don’t know if I ever really found another one after you. I do have friends though, and they all love you. More importantly, though, is the fact that I... And maybe it’s way too early to be saying this, but - but fuck it, I’m doing it. The thing is that I - I fell in love with you. For real. I mean it. I love you, Yamaguchi Tadashi. You’re still my best friend. If it’s okay, though, I’d like to be your boyfriend. I don’t know how good I’ll be at it, but I’d at least like the chance to try.” 

Tadashi’s breath catches as he realizes what’s happening, what Tsukki’s just  _ said _ . 

“We love you, Yamaguchi!” Tadashi’s head snaps up at the shouted confession to find that the man in the hood sitting at the nearest table is actually Nishinoya. Sitting next to him in a baseball cap is Asahi. They’re both smiling. 

“Tsukishima is unbearable without you around, please come back to him!” He hears another voice shout, and there’s Suga sitting with Daichi at the back, grins on each of their faces. Next to them are Tanaka and Kiyoko, both of them waving and goofily making hearts with their hands. 

“You were Saltyshima’s first love!” Hinata’s voice says from somewhere to Tadashi’s right. Tadashi’s vision blurs and he has to blink several times to clear it. When he does, Kageyama is standing next to Tsukki with his hand on the taller man’s shoulder, his expression blank despite the warmth in his eyes. 

“You are the reason I’m engaged to Hinata-boke, and the reason I can do what I want with my volleyball career again. You are a part of this family, if you’ll have us. Please accept Tsukishima as our humblest offering.” 

“Shut the hell up, dumbass. What the hell do you mean, humblest?” Tsukki grumbles, shaking the setter off of him before turning back to look at Tadashi. 

“Sorry if this is a lot,” he says, scratching at the back of his head as his cheeks heat up further. “I don’t mean to corner you, I just… I couldn’t think of a better way to convince you that everything that’s happened wasn’t, like, a deal breaker for any of these guys. Everyone understands. They don’t care. I don’t care. I just want the chance to date you now that you’re not engaged.” He gives Tadashi a rueful smile before looking away. It takes them both a minute to regain eye contact, and when they do Tsukki looks embarrassed but is still smiling at him with such surety that Tadashi can’t help but return it with his own trembling grin. “O-only if you want to, though, of course. I - God… I hope you want to.” Kei says. 

“I want to.” Tadashi’s voice comes out a watery rasp and he has to clear his throat before repeating the words. “I really want to.” 

“Cool.” They stare at each other for a minute before they’re both bursting out into laughter, Tadashi wiping away the happy tears he can feel gathering at the corners of his eyes. “Cool,” Tsukki says again, leaning forward across the counter. “Can I kiss you, Tadashi?” 

Tadashi quickly looks at Yachi only to find her smiling smugly at him, utterly unsurprised. “Don’t mind me,” she says, going back to theatrically wiping out the shaker she’s holding, “this is all going according to plan. I don’t mind letting you have your moment of PDA at work so long as you promise to make the next three smoothies that get ordered.” 

Tadashi laughs again. He should’ve known she’d had a hand in all of this. He leans across the counter and grabs Tsukki by the collar of his jacket, pulling him towards him. When their mouths meet in the middle, the room erupts into cheers. 

He can’t help but open his eyes before they part, wanting to take a peek at the blonde up close, to see each one of those long, translucent eyelashes and the faint flush of pink on that white skin. Tsukki seems to have had a similar idea because when Tadashi looks up he finds himself held captive by the other man’s bright amber gaze.  _ God, he’s beautiful.  _ Tadashi’s mouth opens instinctively, wanting to get closer, and he feels Tsukki’s sharp intake of breath before the blonde is deepening their kiss, a large hand coming up to hold the back of his head as the other tilts his chin up, seeking easier access. 

“Alright, alright, break it up, you two,” Daichi’s voice says finally, suddenly too close, shocking them both back to reality. Right, he’s at work. He needs to get a hold of himself. He pulls away, straightening his apron over the front of his pants as subtly as he can. Tsukki doesn’t miss the movement, his pupils dilating as they find Tadashi’s. The smirk he gives him is absolute sin, making the smaller man weak at the knees. 

“Large black coffee and the time your shift ends, please. I need something to ease the adrenaline rush I’m currently experiencing and to tide me over til then.” 

“Caffeine won’t help that, Tsukki,” Tadashi chastises jokingly before pouring the drink and writing ‘4:30’ on the front in big, block letters. He smiles as he hands it to the blonde, enjoying the way the other man’s lips quirk in response. 

“Okay, see you at 4:30, Tadashi,” Tsukki says, giving him one last smile before turning and waving his hands at his - no,  _ their _ friends. “Okay, assholes, get out of here. Let him do his job.” 

“Dinner Tuesday night! Real hot pot this time to celebrate the two happy couples! Yachi-san, you’re invited!” Suga calls out as he exits the cafe, the rest of the group chiming in to encourage Tadashi and Yachi’s attendance before they file out the door. Tsukki is the last one to leave, the tall blonde giving Tadashi one last warm smile before holding his hand up to give a small wave and turning around to see himself out. Once he’s gone, Tadashi turns to face his meddling coworker as he all but collapses against the counter. 

“How on earth are you already getting invited to dinner? How long have you been talking to them?” He wants to be more annoyed than he is, but his embarrassment is overruled by the incredible feeling of happiness he can feel building in his chest and the weakness in his muscles as his body finally relaxes for the first time in a week. He hadn’t realized how heavy the guilt he’d been carrying had been. 

“A few nights after you stayed at my place. Kiyoko-chan found me on Facebook. Turns out she’s really nice and I figured if she was endorsing your Tsukishima then he couldn’t be all bad. He certainly sounded desperate enough for another chance with you, if you believe the stuff she was saying.” 

“What was she saying?”

Yachi shakes her head, a mischievous smile playing across her closed lips as she turns back to the vague cleaning she’s been doing. “You’ll have to ask him yourself, Yamaguchi-kun. All I’ll say is, that guy has it bad for you, and probably has for a lot longer than either of you realize. Nothing ever compares to your first love, eh?” 

Tadashi feels himself color at hearing her echo what Hinata had said earlier. He’ll have to ask Tsukki about that, someday. For now, though, he needs to concentrate on not fucking up too badly at work before 4:30, the thought of what lies beyond that time stamp far too tantalizing for his overloaded mind. Tadashi sighs. The end of his shift can’t come fast enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew !! it happened !!! not done yet tho ! look forward to two more chapters of tsukkiyama !! and then be prepared to say goodbye to me for a few months while i go write the next fic for these dumb boys that i've already started outlining in my notes app lmfao. anywho !! lets all just agree that kageyama is the most awkward fuck in this whole friend group of awkward fucks and keep it moving lmfao. As always, thanks for reading!!!!!!!!!!


	10. The Bond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically just 4k words of loving, affirming soulmate sex so..... PLEASE skip this chapter if that is not your thing!! but if it is, then please enjoy!

Kei meets Tadashi outside the cafe at 4:30 on the dot. 

“Can we go to your apartment?” Is all he says in greeting, nerves keeping his tongue tied. 

“Yeah, but, um - ”

“You don’t have roommates, right?” Tadashi nods in answer and Kei nods at that. Any place without Daichi and Suga and Kageyama and Hinata and probably all the rest of them because his friends are just nosy like that and are probably currently hoping to ambush him as he comes home with his boyfriend for the first time is good enough for him. They make it to the train without much talking, which makes the blonde feel a little awkward until they sit down and Tadashi take’s Kei’s hand in his own, startling him out of feeling anything outside of the sensation of his own pounding heart. 

“Is this okay?” The freckled man asks shyly, and Kei feels his chest squeeze before realizing that, yes, this _is_ allowed, he _can_ do this, this is _okay_. He brings their joined hands up to his lips. It seems like the right answer, judging from the pretty flush that blooms across Tadashi’s freckled cheeks. 

When they get to Tadashi’s apartment, the smaller man tries to give him some stuttered warning about the place not being very ‘inviting’, but Kei couldn’t care less. They haven’t let go of each other's hands since they first got on the train and Kei’s heart still hasn’t stopped jackhammering in his chest. He needs to _do_ something about it or else his heart might actually pop. When they finally get inside he pulls Tadashi towards him. 

“Ts-Tsukki?” 

“I love that stupid nickname,” Kei mumbles, crowding into Tadashi’s space. He grabs both of his shaking hands, keeping them still as he leans down to drop his forehead on the shorter man’s shoulder. He smells really good. 

“You - you do?” 

“Mhm. Your hands are sweaty.” 

“S-sorry, Tsukki!” Tadashi pulls his hands away to bring them up between their faces, shielding his own flustered expression as he tries to take a step back and hits the wall. 

Kei can’t help himself. His head feels like it's spinning. He leans in and licks up one Tadashi’s palms, covering the space from the other man’s wrist to his fingertips with the flat of his tongue in one fell swoop in maybe the most wanton display of desire that Kei has ever allowed himself to have. When he opens his eyes again Tadashi is a red, quivering mess in front of him. “I’ve wanted to do this since the minute I saw you. Can I kiss you, Tadashi?”

“You - you wanted to lick my sweaty hand? G-gross, Tsukki,” Tadashi says, voice trembling. Kei can’t help but smile at his valiant attempt at making fun of him despite the circumstances. 

“Sure. I’d lick any part of you. Can I kiss you?” 

Tadashi nods vigorously, and Kei’s vision swims as something akin to victory roars to life in his chest, the sheer volume of the emotion like a thunderclap in his mind. Finally, _finally,_ he is allowed. He catches Tadashi’s mouth with his own, licking into the wet heat behind those pretty lips with a confidence he didn’t know he possessed. He’s going too fast, much faster than he thought he would, but Tadashi is leaning in and making small, responsive sounds and opening up wider and inviting Kei in and giving as good as he gets and, _fuck_ , Kei can’t stop. He doesn’t want to. To hell with his cool guy exterior. To hell with all of his insecurities. To hell with the fact that he’s really only done this a handful of times because he’s never really been sexually attracted to anyone before because, _fuck_ , he’s attracted now. He needs this now. He hardly knows who he is at this point, but if this is the person who gets to hold Tadashi then fuck it, he’ll be this person for the rest of his life. He’ll gain experience as he goes. He’ll learn how to fit the man in front of him perfectly until he can’t exist without Kei. Part of Kei’s mind wants to entertain the possibility of locking the door and never letting the smaller man out of his sight, hoarding him for himself forever, but he knows that that's not real, not healthy, not really what he wants. He knows the overwhelming need to possess the person in front of him will fade once he’s worked through some of these new sensations, but damn if working through them doesn’t feel good. For now, what is real is Tadashi right here in his arms, whispering his name, pulling him further into the apartment. 

He kicks off his shoes and jacket, letting them stay where they land in the front entrance before walking Tadashi backwards towards the mattress he can see in the other room. It takes them longer than it should to get there, but when they do, Tadashi falls back against the many pillows he apparently sleeps with, head bouncing against the mattress as he looks up at Kei with wide eyes. 

“Is this really okay?” the smaller man asks, his voice betraying equal parts strain and awe. 

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Kei asks. He can feel his usual self consciousness lurking somewhere in the shadows behind him, but it hasn’t pounced yet. He takes the opportunity to pull the shirt he’s wearing up and over his head. The act is efficient, not meant to accomplish anything other than the obvious, but the look on Tadashi’s face makes him think, somewhat proudly, that maybe it wasn’t such a bad show either. The freckled man visibly swallows, eyes darting around the room before continuing. 

“I dunno. It just feels… _Forbidden_ ,” he says finally, his blush deepening at his own words. “That - that was embarrassing, forget I said that. This didn’t happen. I - ”

“Tadashi. If we’re going too fast, tell me. I’m good to do anything you want. But if your only objection to letting me hold you right now is that it feels forbidden because you used to be fake engaged, then let me reassure you. It’s not. I’m yours. Any way you want me. But, like, for at least right now, preferably naked and in bed. With you, I mean. Also naked and - and in bed. Uh…” Kei rubs at his face, his little speech petering out lamely as he loses his focus and forgets the point he was trying to make. Tadashi has started shifting around on the bed below him, his legs parting inadvertently as he tries to dislodge a pillow from beneath him, the small action making Kei’s mind go blank. 

“I - I also want to be naked and in bed with you, Tsukki,” Tadashi says timidly, and it takes all of Kei’s strength not to jump on him right then and there. He sits down on the edge of the bed without breaking eye contact. 

“Okay, so… Step one. Do you want me to - ?”

“No! No, that’s uh… that’s okay. I’ll do it. But - ” Tadashi looks up at him from beneath his lashes, his bottom lip catching between his teeth. God, he has _got_ to know what he’s doing to Kei right now. There’s no way he doesn’t. “You too, Tsukki.” 

Kei nods and reaches for his belt buckle, stopping only to watch from the corner of his eye as Tadashi pulls off his sweater and undershirt all in one go. He makes quick work of his pants after that, letting himself keep on his boxers before turning to watch Tadashi remove his last article of clothing - a sock. The brunette didn’t keep his boxers on. The two of them sit there for a second, and Kei knows he must be making some kind of shocked expression but he can’t help it. Tadashi is just so fucking _beautiful_. 

“I - I don’t know why this feels so different,” Tadashi says finally, his tone self deprecating as he scratches at the back of his head. “It’s not like I’ve never done this before, but… I don’t know. This time it’s - it’s _you_.” Kei nods. He knows exactly what he means. Everything about this moment feels sacred. Tadashi isn’t just some warm body being used to satisfy a mutual biological itch like Kei’s previous partners had been, he’s a work of art, divinity incarnate, the heavenly host represented as a smattering of stars on tan skin. He’s almost untouchable, and yet Kei desperately wants to touch. Needs to touch. Needs to affirm that this is something he really can have. That this moment is real. 

“Can I kiss you, Tadashi?” he asks again, because, really, it’s the only thing he can think to say at this point. His brain short circuited a long time ago. 

“Yes, please,” Tadashi responds, and leans forward to accept him. 

They’re tangled together in the sheets before long. At some point, Kei loses his underwear. The loss of that final barrier feels like a liberation, and maybe he should be more embarrassing to admit this, but this is the most human Kei has ever felt. Right here, in the arms of a man he still has so much to learn about, Kei is somehow finally complete. 

“It’s too early to say I love you too, right?” Tadashi whispers when they finally part, his bright eyes questioning and insecure as he lets Kei pull him closer. 

“Don’t ask me, I already said it,” Kei says, burying his face in the other man’s hair. They breathe in tandem for a moment, their hearts synching and slowing between them as they adjust to this new reality. “Honestly, Tadashi, I - I don’t believe in an afterlife or reincarnation or any of that bullshit, but if I did… I think I’d say that - that I think we’ve known each other for a lot longer than we have in this lifetime. Beyond when we were kids, beyond this these last few weeks… I think I - I think I’ve known you a long time. I think I’ve loved you for a long time.” He doesn’t let Tadashi look at him during the whispered confession, the ridiculousness of his own words in no way undermining how vehemently some part of himself really, truly believes them. He’s trying not to feel stupid when he hears Tadashi’s reply. 

“Me too. Tsukki - me too.” And that’s enough for Kei. He finds the smaller man’s lips again, letting his hands wander down to Tadashi’s thin hips to pull him up into his lap so that he’s straddling Kei’s waist. The new position seems to distract the brunette adequately. 

“Do you have lube and condoms?” the blonde asks without preamble, the sudden shift in the conversation making Tadashi bark a laugh. 

“Yeah, bedside table, second drawer.” Kei leans over as instructed and pulls out the desired items. “They might be - the condoms might be a bit old, though…”   
  
“Condoms have a shelf life of three to five years,” Kei says offhandedly, which makes Tadashi laugh again, this time a little more relaxedly. 

“You’re so cool, Tsukki. You know everything,” the smaller man mocks gently, a finger coming up to trace down Kei’s sternum, making him shiver. 

“Shut up,” Kei says, popping open the lube to coat one of his hands. He reaches for Tadashi’s erection, wrapping his fingers loosely around the head before slowly sliding down the length. Tadashi’s cock is, like the rest of him, slender and pretty and dusted in freckles. He lets his thumb trace back up the ridge on the underside, enjoying the way it jumps in his hand at the stimulation. He taps at the clear pearl of precome that’s formed at the tip, smearing the substance against the slit lightly before huffing a sigh. Really, it should be illegal for someone to be this cute. He looks up at Tadashi only to find the smaller man covering his face with both hands, a delicious flush spreading across his chest, making the tops of his delicately trembling shoulders rosy in color. 

“D - don’t look at it so scientifically, Tsukki,” the freckled man whines, the words breathy in a way that implies pleasure despite the complaint. 

“I wasn’t looking at it scientifically, I was just admiring it closely,” Kei responds, fighting hard to keep his voice deadpan. He feels the other man’s cock jump against his palm, letting him know that, yup, Tadashi is probably actually really into being inspected ‘scientifically’. He’ll file that away for later. “Tadashi, look at me,” he says, letting his voice soften. When Tadashi peeks between his fingers he smiles. “You’re so beautiful. I really was just admiring you.” 

“So humiliating,” Tadashi whimpers, but he lowers his hands to Kei’s chest anyway. “Not fair, Tsukki. I shouldn’t be the only one feeling good.” Suddenly, Kei is reminded of the fact that the smaller man is still sitting effectively in his lap when he begins to rock against the blonde’s own erection, their lengths sliding slickly against each other with the help of the lube. 

“Oh, _fuck_ ,” Kei grinds out, his hands finding Tadashi’s hips, though whether its to stop him or help him move faster Kei can’t quite decide. 

“Here, give - give me the lube. I’m gonna…” Tadashi’s voice cracks, making the smaller man stiffen which only intensifies the pressure against Kei’s cock, making him buck up against his boyfriend. The movement sends Tadashi sliding further up against Kei’s body, making it so that Kei’s cock ends up settling against the curve of his ass, making them both gasp. “Yeah. That. I’m gonna prepare myself for that,” Tadashi whispers. 

Kei’s restraint snaps. He sits up in one fluid motion, pulling Tadashi towards him as he pops the lube’s cap open again. “No way,” he growls lowly into the other man’s ear, “I’ll do it. Say it's okay, and I’ll do it.”

“You don’t - you don’t have to -”

“I want to. If you want to, I definitely want to.” He feels Tadashi’s hips jerk forward, making his erection drag against the flat plane of Kei’s abs. The smaller man chokes out a small moan, his hands clinging to Kei’s back, fingernails biting into the blonde’s skin in a way that promises to be a lot of fun later. “Do you want to, Tadashi?”   
  
“Yes,” Tadashi whispers back, repeating the motion to rut against the taller man’s stomach. “Yes, please, Tsukki, _please_.”

“Kiss first.” 

The brunette tips his head down to allow Kei access to his mouth, the blonde not losing any time in biting and licking his way inside. Fuck. Who knew kissing someone could feel so good? Who knew any of this could feel like… _this_ . He coats a few of his fingers with lube without breaking the kiss, feeling his way to Tadashi’s entrance before beginning the process of opening the smaller man up. This isn’t really something he’s ever done for a partner before and Tadashi is _tight,_ so he pays special attention to the reactions each one of his movements elicits, carefully exploring and stretching the tight ring of muscles before adding in another finger and slowly beginning to scissor them in all directions. At some point his middle finger finds the spot that makes Tadashi jump, and it doesn’t take long after that for the two of them to find their rhythm. By the time Kei has added a third finger, he practically has Tadashi bouncing on his hand, the slick sound of skin slapping skin almost as enticing as the incredible moans coming from the usually quiet man. 

“I’m ready. Tsukki, _please_ , I - I’m ready,” Tadashi pants in his ear after a while. Kei has a trail of the other man’s precome on his stomach now, and he’s pretty sure his own dick is going to fall off if it gets any harder. Still though, he tries to shake his head. 

“Don’t want to hurt you. We’ve gotta - gotta be sure you’re ready,” he whispers back, equally breathless. Tadashi nips at his bottom lip in response, glassy eyes desperate as he gives a little whine. 

“You won’t hurt me,” he says, rocking against Kei’s fingers. “I trust you. Please, Tsukki, I wanna feel you - I want to feel you inside me.” Kei’s pretty sure not even a saint would be able to say no to that kind of begging, and Kei is no saint. He flips their position nimbly, laying Tadashi down on the mattress beneath him, grabbing one of the pillows to shove beneath his backside, tilting his hips up at just the right angle. 

“Is this okay?” He asks, leaning down to steal another kiss. “I want to be able to see you, but if it’s not comfortable -”

“It’s perfect, it’s perfect. Please hurry up, I can’t wait anymore. I’m gonna come just listening to you talk if you keep this up.” Tadashi’s snarkiness even in his current debauched state is way more charming than it has any right to be, and Kei has to fight hard not to laugh. He can’t help but grin a bit as he lines himself up and begins to push inside. Soon, though, all thoughts of sexy banter are forced out of his mind as he’s forced to concentrate hard in order to keep himself in control, his mind blanking once again as his vision tunnels and all that exists in the world anymore is Tadashi’s reaction to every move he makes. 

The first few minutes of adjustment are torture, with Tadashi gasping and squirming underneath him, making Kei fear that he might actually end up being the one who comes before the real fun has even started. Eventually, though, the smaller man relaxes and gives him a nod, the signal for Kei to start moving. He takes it slowly, gauging each one of Tadashi’s flinches and mewls, but finds only impatience in those bewitching brown eyes he loves so much whenever he looks to them for further instruction. 

“You can go harder,” Tadashi says after a few minutes, his body finally relaxing beneath Kei’s fingertips. He stretches up lithely to press his cheek against the blonde’s, his whispered breath tickling against the sensitive skin of Kei’s ear, making him shudder. “I want to feel you _deeper._ ” Kei doesn’t need any further encouragement. He repositions himself slightly, encircling Tadashi’s waist with both hands before beginning to snap his hips forward in earnest. 

“Fuck,” he pants, loving the way the smaller man has fallen back against the bed, his hands tangling into the white sheets that halo his head, his eyebrows drawning together in a worried pinch as his red, bitten lips fall open to worship Kei’s name. 

“ _Tsukki._ ” 

Kei quickens his pace, his whole body alive with the knowledge that this beautiful creature before him is feeling good _because of him._ He’s not ready to lose control yet. He tries to keep his strokes even and deep, being sure to hit Tadashi’s prostate as many times as he can, even as his rhythm starts to become harsher. He reaches a hand between them to grasp Tadashi’s cock clumsily, the new added task not slowing him down a bit, even when he leans down to latch his mouth around one of the brunette’s nipples, sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin until it’s puffy and swollen and pink. He moves on to the next and does the same, only stopping once he’s satisfied with his work. 

“Fuck, Tsukki, _please_ \- feels so good, I wanna come -” Tadashi’s words are slurring now and his hand comes up to knock away Kei’s own, replacing the blonde’s long and hard fingers around his erection with his thin, slender ones, picking up the pace. Kei finds his waist again and starts to pound into him, nearly lifting Tadashi up off the mattress as he strains to mould that tight heat to the exact shape of his cock. Maybe if he does this enough they’ll eventually fit together like puzzle pieces, perfectly made for each other. Or maybe Tadashi will forever be this tight and Kei will have to spend the rest of his life teaching the smaller man’s body how to accommodate him, a challenge that he’s sure he’ll always be up for. Either option makes Kei want to lick his lips. As long as they’re together, he’s up for anything. If Tadashi will keep letting him hold him like this for as long as they can both get it up, he’ll be in bliss. 

“I’m - I’m gonna come, Tsukki, _oh fuck -_ ”

Kei has to clench his jaw when he feels Tadashi begin to shake through his release, his muscles fluttering around Kei’s cock as the orgasm rips through his pretty body. Kei only just manages to seat himself fully within the other man one last time before he’s chasing after him off that ledge, his own orgasm leaving him a quivering mess over his boyfriend, his forehead pressed into the soft juncture of Tadashi’s neck and shoulder as he tries to catch his breath. 

“I love you,” he gasps into Tadashi’s ear as soon as he’s able to, the overwhelming need to express that sentiment the only thing in his mind. 

He feels Tadashi’s arms come up around his back, anchoring Kei to his chest. “I love you too,” he whispers back, nuzzling against him. “I love you too.” 

It takes them a while to finally separate. When they do, Tadashi laughs as Kei groans at the drying come that forces them to peel their chests apart grossly, both of them blushing when Kei finally pulls out. They clean up quickly and hop back in bed together, still naked, Kei curling himself around Tadashi as soon as he gets the chance. He’s embarrassingly eager to be here, but he can’t find it in himself to care. 

“That was kind of amazing,” the freckled man says after a while, smiling brightly when Kei kisses his cheek. 

“Shut up. You’re amazing,” he retorts, as though it’s some sort of insult. Tadashi’s smile becomes even wider. 

“You really love me?” He asks, clearly not afraid to start ribbing Kei immediately about his uncharacteristic vulnerability when it comes to Tadashi. Kei rolls his eyes. 

“Don’t make me say it again.” 

“Aw, c’mon Tsukki, I want to hear you say it without your dick in my butt,” he laughs. 

“I said it in the coffee shop too.” 

“Please?”

Kei frowns but leans closer, getting into position so that his lips are just a hair’s breadth away from the brunette’s ear, his right hand tracing its way up Tadashi’s sternum until he can wrap his fingers loosely around the other man’s neck, pressing down just enough to elicit a reaction. He smiles when he feels the brunette tense. 

“Tell anyone this and you’re dead,” he whispers, voice dangerous. “I’m in love with you, Yamaguchi Tadashi. I love you so much it makes me feel like I’m going crazy, so you better be ready to take responsibility.”

“...Wow,” Tadashi breathes in response, the smirk he’d been sporting earlier now replaced by a deep blush. “Right, okay, I think you won that one.” 

“Your turn,” he says, settling back with a smug smile. 

“I just said I love you!” 

“Say it again.” 

Tadashi lets out an exaggerated sigh before turning on his side to catch Kei’s face with his hands, squishing his cheeks as he furrows his brow at the blonde. “I love you, Tsukki. A lot! Too much! It’s embarrassing! There, happy?” 

Kei nods. He’s a little flustered, but he is happy. He’s never felt this satisfied before. He closes his eyes and relaxes, a small smile on his face as he lets himself begin to drift. 

“I’m really grateful that you love me,” Tadashi murmurs, his voice dreamy, “and I’m really sorry about all the… stuff that happened to get us here.” 

Kei snorts softly. “Don’t worry about it. With the amount of shit I plan to give you for running that kind of scheme under my nose, you won’t have it in you to feel sorry about all of this in a few years. Maybe then I’ll let you hang out with Kageyama one on one again. No time soon though, I’m still too jealous.” 

There’s a small pause, and he feels Tadashi straighten. 

“Wait, Tsukki, you were jealous?” 

Kei keeps his eyes closed, biting the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling. 

“Tsukki! Don’t sleep yet! Were you actually jealous of Kageyama??” 

Kei turns over on his other side, hiding the smile he’s having trouble fighting. 

“He was in a coma! Tsukki! Answer me! Tsukkiiii -”

Kei laughs. Yeah, this has been a weird start to their relationship, but the blonde can’t help but nurture the warm feeling in his chest that tells him that all of this has been worth it. He can deal with all the extra bullshit as long as he has that feeling leading him. Kei will be okay so long as Tadashi continues to be his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah......... loving, affirming sex is part of my love language so i don't apologize for writing this lmfao, but hopefully my warning at the beginning prevented anyone who didnt want to see this from reading this chapter. if you still read it then thats on you, lmao. dont get mad at me. Anywho! im kinda starting to get sick of this fic a little bit but i think that's just bc ive been staring at it for like 10 days straight lmfao. Tomorrow's update will basically be a much shorter epilogue-ish chapter so look forward to that!! See you tomorrow at the end!!


	11. The Happy Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A sappy ending to a silly fic :") thank you all for joining me on this ride, hope you enjoyed it !! <3

_One year later_

“By the love that has brought you here today and by the vows that you have pledged, it is with great pleasure, and with the power vested in me, that I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now seal this commitment with a kiss.” 

Tadashi cups his hands around his mouth to cheer as Kageyama and Hinata, who are standing at the altar, lean in for a kiss that looks more like a wrestling match than the traditionally chaste touch that polite society is used to, but that’s okay. After having spent the last year around these idiots, Tadashi has gotten pretty used to their specific brand of PDA. Apparently so have the rest of the attendants at the raucous ceremony, because no one around him even blinks. 

Eventually, Tsukki, who is standing next to Hinata as his best man, grabs the redhead by the back of his collar and breaks up the happy couple, his handsome face stuck in a scowl as he starts to scold the newlyweds right then and there in front of the officiant and the whole wedding party. Tadashi can’t hear him over the cheering crowd, but his expression alone when Hinata reaches up to smack an exaggerated kiss on the taller man’s cheek like he’s playing some lead part in The Godfather has Tadashi nearly doubled over in laughter. 

It takes a while for the party to transition into the reception, but eventually Tsukki finds his way back to Tadashi and wraps an arm around his middle, burying his head in Tadashi’s shoulder in a way that the shorter man has come to recognize as the blonde’s nonverbal way of asking for a chance to recharge. He scratches bluntly at the back of his boyfriend’s head in understanding, glancing around them until he locates the bathroom. 

“This way,” he whispers, taking Tsukki’s hand to lead him to their new destination. Once inside, he locks the door behind them before opening his arms to embrace the blonde. 

“That was exhausting,” Tsukki says into his shoulder, “I can’t believe both of their vows were _just_ about volleyball. And why were they so long?! Who was in charge of helping them edit those? Asahi?”

Tadashi can’t help but laugh a little as he cards his fingers through the blonde’s hair and rubs soothing circles into his back. The vows were _extremely_ funny, but he can understand how it might’ve been hard to have to stand there next to the embarrassing couple for the duration of their many passionate declarations to play volleyball together until the end of time. 

“You’ll be okay, the open bar has those little fruity cocktails you like and you don’t have to talk to anyone but me for the rest of the night. Unless you want to, of course.” He smiles fondly when the blonde groans and rubs his face against his neck like some overgrown, disgruntled cat. 

“They taste like strawberries, don’t make fun of me. And I still have to give my best man speech.”

“Giving a speech isn’t technically talking _to_ anyone. You’ll be talking _at_ everyone _._ ” He yelps a laugh when Tsukki nips at his earlobe. The blonde catches him with both hands before he can jump out of his reach though, pulling him close in a nearly crushing hug before taking a number of deep, grounding breaths. It’s an exercise they’ve come up with together to combat both of their anxieties in a way that prevents either of them from withdrawing from the other person. It’s really worked wonders for them over the past year. It didn’t take long into their relationship to realize that they share very similar bad coping mechanisms when they experience dips in their mental health, namely isolating themselves and neglecting things that matter. For Tadashi, that’s usually sleeping and skincare; for Tsukki, it’s eating and cleaning his room. Constant close physical contact and plenty of vulnerable, late night conversations have been their greatest weapon in their fight against, as Tsukki calls it, “the blues”. And really, it’s been working great. Being with someone you love isn’t a cure all, Tadashi knows that, and sometimes things are still hard, but it does help, and it helps to know that he helps. Like now, with Tsukki in his arms, he knows he’s helping the man he loves collect himself, and being aware of his own dependability only seems to strengthen that trait within himself. It’s wonderful, being a part of their little two person team. 

Tadashi closes his eyes and hangs onto the back of Tsukki’s suit jacket as he lets the blonde draw from his strength, a peaceful smile on his face as he rocks them back and forth ever so slightly. When the taller man is ready, they part, Tadashi still smiling up at his boyfriend who in turn grimaces theatrically before breaking out into a small grin of his own. 

“That sucked. I hated feeling everyone staring. You, though… Don’t think I didn’t feel you mentally undressing me for most of that.” He rolls his eyes when Tadashi widens his own and presses his face in real close, as if trying to intimidate Tsukki with his overpowering gaze. The blonde snorts. “You’re stupidly cute, it pisses me off. I’m glad you’re here. This would be unbearable without you,” Tsukki says, and Tadashi almost blushes at just how easily his heart still races at Tsukki’s unique way of showing affection. Really, there’s no one else in the world who could make him feel the same flustered embarrassment he’d felt at the beginning of their relationship now, a year later. It’s honestly kind of wonderful, even if it does mean Tadashi spends a lot of his time pink as a peach. 

“Well, you’re just stupid. Weddings are fun and the booze is free, so let’s go get shitfaced before your speech and then do some fun little rewrites before the dinner starts. We’ve got to make it longer so that I have more time to ogle you without anyone noticing. You look hot in that suit.” Tsukki wrinkles his nose at Tadashi, who wrinkles his brow right back, the two of them making ugly, stubborn faces at each other for a moment before the blonde is sighing a laugh and running a hand through his hair. 

“ _I_ notice, and no, no rewrites. I’m keeping it under 20 words and as factual as possible and there’s nothing you can do to stop me. Getting drunk sounds good though. I want my fruity little cocktail.” 

“Nothing?” Tadashi says, stepping in even closer to run his fingertips over the front of Tsukki’s shirt as he looks up at the blonde through his eyelashes in a way that he knows makes his boyfriend weak at the knees. It’s nice knowing he’s not the only one who still gets so affected. He watches Tsukki visibility swallow, his pupils dilating as he seems to consider the implied offer in Tadashi’s words for a moment before resolutely shaking his head. 

Tadashi snorts, stepping back and turning to the mirror. He pretends to inspect his face idly as he watches Tsukki from the corner of his eye try to flatten his wavy gold locks, his cheeks pink. He reaches up to ruffle his boyfriend’s hair after a moment of consideration. Tsukki retaliates by yanking on the piece of hair on the top of Tadashi’s head that he’s fully given up on trying to get to cooperate. 

“Jerk.” 

“Dick.” 

They turn back to the mirror and stare at each other’s reflections for another minute, holding back laughter. 

“When we get married we’re skipping all of this clownery. Don’t think for a minute I’ll be styling my hair like this for our wedding.” 

And there it is, the flush that Tadashi always has to fight around the taller man. It’s amazing how easily the blonde can just _say_ things like that. Tadashi turns on the faucet and splashes some water on his face, trying to cool down before they have to go out and join all of their friends. 

“You okay?” Tsukki asks, eyebrows pinched with worry when Tadashi rubs the water out of his eyes. 

“Perfect,” Tadashi says, grinning as he dries his hands on his pants. “And even if we do have a smaller wedding, Hinata and Kageyama are still gonna be invited, so don’t think you’re getting out of that.” 

“Ugh.” 

The blonde pulls him in for a final kiss before he’s opening the door, taking the lead despite all of his complaining. Tadashi knows that they are technically just joking about their future wedding, that it’s not something they’ve seriously talked about or worked through the details of yet, but he also knows that the overall sentiment is real to Tsukki. He knows it, because it’s also real to him. He thinks of the little black box hidden at the back of his and Tsukki’s spare closet in their modest apartment, the one he bought only a few months after they’d started dating, then guiltily hidden away like a kid hiding his first playboy. He still isn’t sure how he’d mustered the courage it had taken to buy that thing, but he doesn’t regret it. There’s no doubt in his mind that, when the moment comes, the simple, silver ring in that box will find its way onto Tsukki’s left hand. It’s just a matter of time. Because, ultimately, Tsukki had been right when they’d first gotten together. He and Tadashi have known each other for lifetimes. They’ve had their love story engraved in the stars. He and Tsukki are soulmates. Tadashi knows it in his bones. 

Tsukki smiles back at him one last time before they’re swarmed by the crowd, drinks finding their way into their hands as they themselves find their way into others’ arms, music that Tadashi remembers from high school thumping in the air as the rowdy wedding party gets an early start on the festivities before the dinner has even taken place. Tadashi smiles at Tsukki from across the dance floor, making the blonde roll his eyes. Yeah, someday they’ll get married, and yeah, when they do it probably won’t be quite so noisy an affair, but for now they’re both just enjoying the ride. 

Eventually, the party sits down and Tsukki gives his speech. It’s short, factual, and surprisingly sweet. Later, they both get coaxed into dancing again by Kiyoko and Tanaka, and end up dancing together just as crazily as all of their friends. They win the first and only dance off against Hinata and Kageyama that Tsukki allows them to participate in, which Tadashi will be forever proud of. The faces of their friends surrounding them as Tadashi grabs his boyfriend’s sweaty hand and lifts it up in victory as they both pant and smile down at the newlyweds who are still on the floor trying to figure out how to do the worm despite the waning music is maybe the most victorious moment in all of Tadashi’s life. Stunned can’t even begin to describe the silence that follows them off the dance floor. 

“I feel gross, I’m going to the bathroom,” Tsukki says, two fingers pinched into the front of his shirt and holding it away from his chest. Even in the low light of the party, even drenched in his own sweat, the blonde is utterly gorgeous in Tadash’s eyes. The smaller man nods and leans up for a small kiss. 

“I’ll go get us more drinks. Want another what’s-it-called? Or some water?”

“Water, definitely. I’ll meet you over there.” 

They part ways, Tadashi still smiling, reveling in the memory of the way Tsukki had spun him on the dance floor. Who knew his boyfriend had moves like _that._

“Where’s Tsukishima?” he hears Kageyama’s voice ask from over his shoulder as he approaches the bar. 

“Bathroom. I think he was going to try to take a shower in the sink,” Tadashi jokes, lifting his hand at the bartender to ask for two waters. He turns to meet the surly groom and belatedly thinks to hand him one of the drinks before asking for a replacement. That last dance really took its toll on all four of them. He has to fight back laughter at the way Kageyama’s sweat-soaked hair seems to be drying in all directions. 

“I have literally never seen him try so hard at anything in my life. If he had put half that effort into volleyball when we were in high school we could’ve won nationals,” Kageyama huffs, taking the glass with a small nod before draining its contents in one go. 

“I don’t think anyone but you and Hinata could get Tsukki that riled up. He’d only ever try that hard against you guys,” Tadashi says, chuckling. 

“Nah, it was all you. Daichi has been saying this for a while, but I’m convinced now. You’ve got Tsukishima wrapped around your little finger. It’s kind of impressive.” 

Tadashi blushes but can’t help but preen a bit at the other man’s words. He downs half his water to avoid having to answer. 

“You guys like, actually love each other, huh?” 

Tadashi nearly chokes on his drink. 

“Kageyama, we’ve been dating for a year,” he says, voice incredulous. Did Kageyama actually think they _weren’t_ in love? And how did a dance off suddenly change that? 

“Yeah, but, I mean…It’s Tsukishima.”

“You literally helped us get together.”

“Nah, you helped _me._ I basically had no idea what was going on. I was in a coma, remember?” 

“You helped us move in together! You and Hinata had a furniture building contest in the middle of our living room! The four of us go on double dates almost every weekend! You’ve seen us _kiss!_ ” 

“I thought it was a phase.” Kageyama says, sipping his water contemplatively as he looks out onto the crowd of their friends still dancing on the floor. He looks like some weary Victorian father who’s just found out his favorite child secretly got betrothed behind his back. Tadashi can’t help the disbelieving laugh that comes out of his mouth. He slumps against the bar and scrubs a hand over his face. 

“Yes. I really love him.” 

“And he really loves you.” It’s not a question, though Kageyama still sounds like he’s struggling to come to terms with his own words, as though the idea of the blonde genuinely caring about someone is a foreign concept to him.   
  
Tadashi feels himself blush a bit but nods nonetheless. Sometimes it’s still hard to believe that he, Yamaguchi Tadashi, the kid who was always so lonely, the person who thought he didn’t need anyone, the man who was so convinced of his own low self worth, is so truly loved now. He’s loved and appreciated not only by Tsukki but by all of their friends, by Yachi and Kageyama and even Hinata who he’s gotten so close to despite the rocky start of their relationship. They are his safety net, his constant reminders of his self worth, his people to turn to when his own thoughts try to sabotage him, his family. And Tsukki is his soulmate, and somehow, incredibly, he’s Tsukki’s soulmate too. Tadashi can’t help it - he rubs at his eyes as they start to water, biting back the grin he can feel threatening to split his face in two. Remembering how loved he is can be almost too powerful, sometimes. 

“Yamaguchi, are you crying?” 

“No, I’m not.” 

“Hm. Okay. Does Tsukishima make you happy?”  
  
“Yes. He makes me very happy. I’m probably going to ask him to marry me soon. I already have the ring, but don’t tell anyone. We -” He looks across the dance floor to where the door to the bathroom has just opened, the soft light spilling from its depths haloing the silhouette of the man who makes Tadashi happier than he ever even thought possible. Tadashi’s heart squeezes when he sees the relieved look that graces Tsukki’s features when he catches sight of Tadashi. That look alone tells him everything he needs to know - he and Tsukki have become each other's home. “You don’t have to worry,” he says finally, “we’re really, _really_ in love.” 

“Hm.” Kageyama gives him a long look before shrugging in defeat and patting Tadashi’s back. “You could probably do better, but I’ll be rooting for you. If you need help with the proposal, let me know. I owe you one. Still, it’s pretty crazy though, huh? When did all of this even happen?” 

“Tsukki and I falling in love?” Tadashi asks, giving the pro setter his signature crooked smile. “That should be obvious, Kageyama-kun. It was while you were sleeping.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yaaaaay we're done lmao. And i worked in the final line of the original movie into the final line of this fic :""") if anyone hasn't seen the movie, I would HIGHLY recommend it if u love feel good 90s Sandra Bullock christmas nonsense lmao. its very very cute. Anyway, thank you all sooooo much for reading !! i literally can't stress my appreciation enough for those of you who have kept up with this fic the last two-ish weeks. you're very loved <3 I'll be starting on a new tsukkiyama/kagehina fic after a bit of a break so look forward to that in the future. Thanks again for reading, and have a wonderful rest of your day!!

**Author's Note:**

> I made a Twitter, come follow me let’s be mutuals lmao @Sabell666


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